Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye went to study at an English
university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other
students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit
him.
"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.
"Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that
side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop. The one on the
other side screams and screams all night."
"Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English
neighbors?"
"Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly,
playing my bagpipes."
Share your favorite silly/stoopid joke...
by Priest73 155 Replies latest social humour
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kifoy
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Wordly Andre
Why did Mexicans invent tortillas? Because they are too lazy to wash the dishes
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Wordly Andre
One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. bye bye, Grandpa." The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked. The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. bye,bye, Grandma." The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack. Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. bye bye, Daddy." Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found the milkman dead on our porch this morning!"
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cab1000
What do you call a dog with no legs????
Anything! He still won't come!!
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Wordly Andre
There was an elderly man who wanted to make his young wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, I tried with my right hand... nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand... nothing. Her left hand... nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth.... still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?" Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.
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lola28
why is six afraid of 7?
Because seven eight nine.
Lola
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faundy
Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli?
He was pulled under a by a very strong currant. -
TheSilence
silly and stupid, eh?
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents. (intense)
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ButtLight
3 guys are standing at the pearly gates, waiting to get into heaven. St. Peter says to the first guy, if you can show me some christmas spirit, I'll let you in!
So the first guy pulls a lighter out of his pocket, lights it and waves it around, and says "this is close as I can come to a christmas candle. Saint Peter says ok, and lets him in
The second guy walks up, and St. Peter tells him the same thing. The second guy pulls out his keys, and shakes them, and says "this is as close and I can come to jingle bells!" St. Peter lets him in.
The third guy walks up, and St peter asks him also to show his christmas spirit. The thrid guy digs in his pockets, no lighter, no keys, and he pulls out a pair of womens panties. St. Peter says, whats that? The third guy says "These are Carols!!!"