Welcome SLMDF,
As a former elder in days probably before you were born, the early to mid 70's, I never recalled child abuse issues in our congregation. That doesn't mean there weren't any. Perhaps because I never was part of a JC.
You have valuable personal experience and write with such clarity. I am honored to have you contribute your innermost feelings. They will certainly help most of us during our healing process
Len Miller
How I handled Child Abuse cases when I was an Elder (1996-2006)
by slmdf 89 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
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Fatfreek
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Nathan Natas
Hi slmdf,
I think I would probably agree with you that most JWs, especially those of the rank-and-file, are decent people who want to do the right thing.
The problem is that they have accepted as THE authority in their life The Watchtower Bible & Tract Society which is a legal entity concerned only with its own survival.
Are you familiar with the Milgram experiment? It is a classic experiment in social psychology, and it shows that "good" people can rather easily be led to do pretty bad things. (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment)
If a "good" person does an evil deed, is he still good? If people accept the authority of the WTB&TS, aren't they stained by the contact?
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Clam
This is such a good thread. Eye opening, informative, and very sad. Thanks for this slmdf. I take my hat off to you.
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restrangled
It's no wonder religious organizations of christianity have serious issues about how to deal with pedophiles within their ranks, their bible gives them no direction on doing so.
Isn't it a "miracle" that every other individual in society knows exactly how to deal with pedophiles. Even in prison when you are dealing with hardened criminals, the pecking order ranks pedophiles as the lowest of the low and quite often they must be seperated from the general population for their own protection.
Most people also know the statistics on the "rehabilitation" rate for those "repentent" individuals.
The only people that are completely out of the loop and are completely ignorant on the subject are the self-important leaders within these religious organizations. Legends in their own minds. So completely filled with arrogance and self-impotance that they are blind to the very thing that is obvious to everyone "in the world".
Pedophelia is a crime. It is not a religious issue or a dogma issue, it is a moral and ethical issue that "the world" has addressed and has clear guidelines for.
R's Hubby
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Sunspot
Bottom line is this: When your a JW to the core, the only true authority you acknowledge is that of the Watchtower organization. It pretty much sums up the core of why so many are leaving. It's not about God or being Christian. It's about an organization. It's serving THEM, in the name of God.
Yes, thankfully so many ARE seeing through the veneer of "the only true religion" as garbage, and realizing that it is NOT the truth and never has been. We were just cleverly manipulated into this belief.
The idea that JWs MUST protect the organization and that they do their level best to keep things from the public's knowledge---is so ludicrous in situations of child abuse and pedphilia---because the idea that the WTS/JWs are "protecting the name of Jehovah" is beyond foolish when you think about it. One would think that "Jehovah----as Soveriegn Lord and Creator of the entire universe---could not "protect" his own name OR his "organization" even if it truly WAS the WTS!
And wouldn't HE WANT to have ANY adverse condititions brought out, exposed and cleaned up as they occurred---to DEMONSTRATE how he WAS (is) "taking care of business" and TRULY keeping his congregation clean of these things? This "protecting Jehovah" or that nonsense about the fear of bringing reproach ON him----is just so much total hogwash.....as IF mere man COULD "protect" God. OR if he needed protection FROM mankind!
Thanks slmdf, for a great thread.
Annie
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slmdf
Nathan -
Thanks for the thought provoking link. You provide a very interesting line of thought. Intriguing, really.
Are the typically "good natured" rank and file of the JW organization (and some elders/others) tarnished, stained or indirectly blemished simply by association with the organization that hides pedophiles?? According to the Milgram experiment you referred us to, it is freakish how many people willingly go beyond thier comfort level in harming another because an authority tells them to do so. I believe this is core to what's happening in the JW organization.
The major issue, IMHO is that individuals do not develop their own 'constitution', if you will, or thier own set of values. This seems to be a fundamental breakdown in society in general. Studies show that most people want to be followers, not leaders. So, most people will do what they're told. They prefer it that way. Unfortunately, this causes corruption in power that harms the populous. Why? Because people stop thinking for themselves. They blindly follow because that's the easy thing to do. Human behavior studies show that the majority of humans will almost always take the path of least resistance. Same is true here. It's easy to be a JW cause you don't have to think about anything! You just do what you're told, believe what you're told, etc. Simple. And, once you become a JW, it is clearly demonstrated if you get out of line, or buck the system in any way, what the consequences will be. That path is so incredibly painful and terrorizing, the path of least resistance is just to 'get back in line'. That's why more rank & file don't say anything.
With those thoughts in mind, back to the original question, "Are the typically "good natured" rank and file of the JW organization (and some elders/others) tarnished, stained or indirectly blemished simply by association with the organization that hides pedophiles??" I honestly don't know how to answer that. YES in the reasoning that JW's themselves use about 'association'. If you're associated with Babylon the Great, you're cooked. Well, they're associated with the organization that does this stuff... are they cooked? Or is the answer NO because it's like.... ENRON. Were the employees at ENRON to blame or guilty by association because they worked there? No - they didn't know they may have been indirectly allowing their 'leaders' to steal. Hell - every day they worked they were putting money in the boss' pocket! I think the fundamental problem, and hence responsibility/accountability, is with the JW Headquarters (especially GB) who have created this controlling organization where people literally fear for their lives and their families if they choose not to believe something. It's crazy, I tell ya. Crazy.
It's one of the reasons I respect all of you so much. You have demonstrated that you will no just go with the flow of least resistance. Many of us have lost quite a bit (via DF'ing, etc.) but we carry on and we're much better because of it. We have decided not to sit back and be thought for.... we think for ourselves. We all have a responsibility now to ensure that we NEVER allow ourselves to be led like a lamb to the slaughter, mentally speaking. We HAVE to challenge things we're told. We've broken free from such a warped organization - we must be careful not to become prey to another one.
This study was so thought provoking for me. I asked myself what I would have done. And, I believe I would answer two ways. First, if I was still a JW, I would have gone with the flow and did the experiment. Second, today if I were asked to do it I believe I would have challenged it. (At least that's what I believe I would do.... I HOPE I would.)
PEOPLE... it's wonderful to listen to our conscience or 'gut'. When it comes to treating other humans - especially the children - let's not forget that we all need to use our sense of 'conscience' and do the right thing - no matter what anyone in authority tells us. That's the lesson I get from the Milgram experiment. Thanks for posting it.
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NewYork44M
I was an elder for three years. Although I did not "handle" any molestation cases, there were three or four cases that I was aware of during my tenure as an elder. I am sorry to say that at the time I would have probably done exactly as the wt/legal department asked.
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sweetstuff
I agree with you R's hubby, it isn't a religious issue unfortunately however, when a religion protects the rights of the abuser versus the abused the focus must be directed at said religion in order to bring about positive change. Without that pressure, nothing will change, only fester and grow into a much larger problem. My heart not only goes out to those who have been abused (I can relate) but to the parents who are so brainwashed into being submissive to a man-made organization that they don't defend and protect their children to the degree they deserve.
The elders are in a tough position, however, they are choosing to let their minds be controlled over their natural instincts to protect, I am sure alot of them are good people at heart who feel torn over what they have seen and how they have been told to handle it, yet, many of them continue on, ignoring their gut, ignoring their own hearts. I find it more baffling that parents who are JW's will often go along with these decisions and the effects on their child are life long. To basically to told, "Jehovah will set things straight" when the accuser denies the abuse and to be forced to see that person, week in, week out is a living hell for a child and is mental abuse in and of itself. How can any parent be that cruel to their own flesh and blood in the name of an organization?
If anyone ever molested one of my children ...I'd serve my own justice...just call me Lorraina Bobbit. The perpetrator would never have the "equipment" to do it again. I think society has become far to civilized to those who commit this crime, put them in prison, IF they get convicted, put them in solitary confinement, for "their" protection. They should be dragged thru the streets for the things they have done and nailed to the nearest tree or something, I can think of a good place to nail them to the tree.
Before anyone says they are "mentally ill" and need help, if they are mentally sound enough to cover what they have done, hide it, use threats and mental mind games on their victims, no pity from me whatsoever.
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dawg
I feel as many of you were a little too harsh on my brother, Slmdf. We all did things we should be embarassed of when we were fooled by the org. I think it was brave of him to tell us the truth about his expierence with the fools in Brooklyn... it took us all a while to fugure things out.
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drew sagan
Additionally, some may find it interesting to note what happened one time when I did call the authorities (thankfully I was in a "reporting state" each time there was an issue, or I too probably would have followed Big Brother's direction). When I called them anonymously from a payphone, of course Child Protection Services wanted to know who I was. I couldn't tell them. They wanted to know how I knew the victim. I couldn't tell them. They wanted to know how I found out about it. I couldn't tell them. This went on and on and on. I basically couldn't tell them anything other than what the legal department told me I could which was, "There has been an accusation that Mr. so-and-so has abused a minor child by the name of such-and-such. That minor child has verified the accusation. It occured in the state of XX, this many times, over a period of XXXX. That's all I will say." You are VERY clearly instructed by the Legal Department NOT to EVER say ANYTHING regarding the Watchtower Society or it's Legal Department, or that you were given ANY direction by ANYONE on what to say or how to handle the matter. So, they're covering their own asses - without a doubt.
So, the point of this is that after the elder calls the authorities with basically NO information, the authorities would ask me, "Well, sir, we can't really do anything with the information you gave us. Anyone can make an accusation. Why should we believe this is a genuine case? We don't even know who you are or how to contact you. We'll follow-up, but honestly, you're doing more damage than good here. You're not giving us much of anything." They actually become fairly irate because it's like we're teasing them and PROTECTING the molester. It's horrible. I always felt SO BAD when it came to these calls. It never felt right. But, in all the cases I dealt with, authorities did contact the victim and abuser and in every one, the abuser was dealt with. (That's the good news.)Amazing......
So if the Elders get busted for never contacting the authorities how do you prove that you actually did tell them? Or is the WTS just setting you up to take the fall in order to protect "Jehovah's name"?
Or was your situation one in which you where not required?