You know that kinda gay guy in your old hall?

by changeling 59 Replies latest jw friends

  • delilah

    When I was in my early teens, I "dated" a really sweet guy, from my congregation. I never realized that he was gay, and neither did anyone else, until a few years later, he died of an undisclosed illness.

    Reflecting on his personality and life, I came to realize that he always had tons of girl friends, but never did I see him hanging with the guys. That should have told me something?! I had never known anyone who was gay before, so I didn't catch on.

    When I got married, my cousin, ( 10 at the time) was there, and my husband took one look at him, and said, " he's gay". I thought my husband was crazy, but, he was dead on! He is definitely gay, and living a very reckless life, unfortunately. I love him anyways.

    I have another very close relative, a young teen, who "came out" last year. I was shocked, to say the least, but my love for this relative has never changed.

    Needless to say, it has my JW parents all in an uproar.....

  • undercover

    You know him, every hall has one.

    Yep...I've known a few and wondered about them.

    But interestingly enough, one case where I knew the brother pretty well; he left his wife and kids and proclaimed he was gay and I never would have guessed that he was gay. He wasn't super-macho, but he wasn't effiminate or "limp-wristed". He was just one of the guys.

    He hangs out with all the middle aged women at the hall.

    I knew one brother that would always hang out with the sisters in the kitchen while the guys were watching the game or doing other "manly" things. He was a good looking guy and all the girls loved him. A few of the guys swore he was hiding being gay, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. the end, he left the "truth", moved to another city and proclaimed his gayness.

    Another brother who has been accused of being gay, but there's no proof didn't hang around the sisters, he liked to hang around younger brothers. When he was a teen, he liked to befriend pre-teens. When he was in his 30s and 40s he befriended teens and early 20s. He would now be about 50 and he's never married. He's an elder somewhere now. After all the abuse scandals that have happened I sometimes wonder about this guy and if his befriending younger males is sign of something possibly dangerous or if I'm just being too critical of a brother who really is trying to be a friend to the youth in the congregation.

  • greendawn

    There was an elder's son that acted in a very feminine way his voice mannerisms and overall conduct so some dubs did suspect the worst about him. And indeed eventually he did get a boyfriend and left his parents' house.

    However I later heard that he went to being heterosexual and even got married and started a family. Apparently for him it was a passing phase and my opinion is that it was his exceptionally strict father that drove him to being gay by over suppressing his masculinity.

  • Junction-Guy

    That's interesting Greendawn, I wish he was here in the USA,, I would like to talk to him and get his perspective.

  • saywhat29
    The JW Cult feminizes boys by denying them traditional male role models, by keeping them isloated from their "worldly" male peers, by denying them the right to date and affirming that it is ok to date, by refusing them to play school sports. They are excluded from 99% of the activities that their other male peers enjoy.

    Eh, i don't know. that's like saying that all JW men are gay which is not the case. And thee were a lot of traditional male role models at most the halls I went to. And one or two of them had effeminte sons, but not all. and the ones that did def. put pressure on them to hang out with the guys and play sports with the other JWkids.... I'm sorry but the school sports thing doesnot makes somone gay. because THERE WOULD BE A LOT MORE GAY GUYS.....

    Shoot, I wish it were true.

    I didn't play sports because I was scared of sucking but I did other guy things and I'm stil ay. And you'd only know or wonder if I was gay because of my interaction w/ girls as its too comfortable and not at all predatory like other guys are. *shrugs* But I dont feel effeminized and let me just say most effeminate men have balls of steel to go through the stuff they do and still try and make the world... fabulous!

    *fingersnaps* Just sayin' 'cause even straight guys can attest to not being able to put up with some of the stuff they go through...

    BUT on to the point, YES! Every hall has one or two! I was actually thinking of moesting the one in my hall but I fingure he'd snitch son afterwars though.... *sighs* damn guilt trip.

  • Junction-Guy

    The brothers at the hall were wimps for the most part, every now and then there would be a cool JW guy, but for the most part they arent. There were way too many contradictions in the JW community.

    You know what? Not all of them may turn out gay, but they end up either alcoholics, depressed, and suicidal.

    I despise this cult and will fight it tooth and nail until the day I die

  • Paralipomenon

    The guy I used to hang out with just got married the past year. It was rather funny.

    EVERY single time it was mentioned the conversation went like this:

    "Oh I heard ******** got married"
    "To a woman?!?"

    Poor girl.

  • changeling

    Am I hearing from some of you that people can be "socialized" into gayness?

    Do you not believe we are born either gay or hetererosexual?

    Do you think someone can be "turned" gay?

    Personally, I think it's an inborn thing. I'm just wonderring about your views.

    Also, don't you think there's a difference between what some would call a "wimp" (unathletic, bookish) and a flamer?

    I feel a bookish non- jock can be very atractive and masculine. As a woman, I don't define masculinity as a "ball scratching, brute".


  • sweetstuff

    Seriously, if he is gay I feel sorry for him. Living in dub land cannot be easy for him. He know Ms Jehovah (as saywhat would say) is going to kill him at the big A because of his heart condition. He knows it. No matter how much you love, work and try and please Jah. it does not change who you are. And Jah don't want us in pair-o-dice.

    He's still young so there's a chance he'll get out before the self-loathing thing causes him to harm himself. I feel for him. It taint easy.


    I totally agree. Being gay and brought up as a witness would be a living HELL, your every thought, desire, BAD. The amount of self loathing one would feel would be utter destruction on so many levels. I have a very good friend who I always knew was gay, when he finally left and was out and happy, I was thrilled for him, he became the person he was meant to be, free from shame and guilt. He's in a great relationship and finally free from the self hate and judgement his younger life focused around.

  • rebel8

    I have met many people like that, inside and outside the borg.

    Maybe some of them are asexual with gay attraction:

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