Who else is tired of the Just Get Over It threads?

by sass_my_frass 56 Replies latest jw friends

  • sass_my_frass

    I reckon every week somebody new says "why all the anger, why can't you just move on?" as if this is a new thought that hasn't occurred to us. I have started this thread so that every time I see a new one I can point out how old that idea is.

    I have this to say about it:

    Congratulations. It's great that you have obviously been able to get out without being harmed in some way - really, I'm happy for you. A lot probably do, and that's great. There is a proportion though who have been monumentally messed up, and some are here talking about it. We have here a lot of people who have made the break but can't believe how much it still hurts. Other people have just realised they can't be a witness anymore but are still married to one / raising one / living under their roof…

    There are people here who will never get the opportunity to completely heal. Even if they don't happen to have to face it in their daily lives, occasionally an weird random event will happen and they'll need to talk about it - a psychotic funeral, a retracted wedding invitation, a big family event that we weren't even told about, the graduation of a nephew they hadn't even had a photo of since he was born...

    I agree that there are far worse things that could have happened to us than our family disowning us. Our country might have been invaded, or we might have a debilitating disease, or we might have been abused, etc. For most of us though, the big problem we have to deal with in our lives is that everybody we ever knew and loved has rejected us and never wants to see us again. Lets call it a thousand divorces. It hurts. Some people can cope and move on, others can't.

    My siblings will never talk to me again. My parents are going slowly mad because our family has broken up and it never occurred to them that they'd grow old. Not an hour goes by without me choking up about this. It makes me especially sad when people dismiss this hurt I feel as if it's something so insignificant. Worse: it's never going to change. They're never going to ease off or come around. If I manage to even get a tiny happy thought through to them it actually hardens them more. This is my entire family life from now until I die. This rejection sometimes makes me feel utterly worthless. So yes I'm angry - at them for being so hateful and manipulative and at the organisation that encourages their ignorance, but mostly at myself for being dumb enough to have bought into it. This anger though - it isn't my biggest problem.

    It's really great that you're doing well. What I'd like is that you either give us the pill you took to fix it, or that you would google up MyLifeIsPerfect.com or MyFamilyAreSane.net and go hang out there instead.

  • sass_my_frass
  • oompa

    Sass I think I love you. I felt it, you said it. I remember the "unique clean break" poster and was jealous. Even though these ones are unique, lets still invite them to post here though, maybe we will learn something.

    most hurt some, they have to....oompa

  • Gordy


    Agree with you totally.

    I have had many a non-JW say to me "Just forget about it and move on"

    How do you forget nearly 30 years of your life?

    How do you forget that you have a wife and two daughters who will never speak or see you again.

    How do you forget that your family was broken up by JW teachings?

    How do you forget many "friends" who just dumped you overnight?

    I've also had exJW's saythe same thing to me. But usually these are ones who either have no family etc to worry about leaving behind. Or that they were lucky that their family came out of the WT with them.

    Yes there have been times when I thought "Thats it no more WT/JW stuff . No more JWd and other forums. No more research and keeping up-to-date on what the WT are doing.

    But then I will get a mail saying "Saw your testimony on a website. Can you help me. I'm going through similar "

    In fact I've had three this past week. Do I saw "Sorry, no longer do that. You're on your own."

    If I can open the eyes and mind of one JW and they leave or stop someone becoming a JW.

    Then its worth it.

  • vitty

    I know on a few other forums I go on (not JW) have what they call "sticky" threads

    If we had a few important threads that stayed up at the top eg common questions by newbies or important info for the lurkers..the peodo problems, shunning , stuff like that it would save a lot of repeatitious threads.

  • scotsman

    I always thought that JWD was good because it had room for those that have got over it and those who are caught in the trauma. I've been on here for almost 5 years and the topics are all very repetitive but that's the nature of the beast. Don't like a thread? Don't read it or participate in it. But embracing the forum's diversity has worked for me.

  • WTWizard

    Part of the function of these boards is to give people the chance to partially undo the damage they did while in the organization. We created this problem while we were in. We did all we could to build up the Watchtower Society then. We initiated fraud in behalf of it. We helped them ruin a lot of people's lives, including children.

    Now that we are out, we have the chance to help undo some of that damage. Each person we warn to stay out of that organization or help get out with this board helps offset one person we scammed into getting in. And one way of doing that is discussing personal experiences we had while in. People can read it, and decide that there is too much faking it in the organization and that the whole thing is contrived, helping them to stay out. That will prevent one person or family from having their lives ruined, helping offset one person or family we dragged in.

  • Mrs Smith
    Mrs Smith

    Thank you for this post.

    Like most people here I have my good days and my bad days. On good days I think man life is great I'm so happy that I'm no longer part of that cult and have a normal life. On bad days I have an old JW friend shun me or my mom wants to tell me about the meetings and I get angry and sad that this cult is stopping me from having a normal relationship with my family.

    For those of you who are over it good for you!

  • erandir
    I've been on here for almost 5 years and the topics are all very repetitive but that's the nature of the beast.

    Hey, if we could stomach the repetitive meetings all those years, we can certainly stand some repetitive therapy on this forum!

  • DJK

    I was just lurking today and I couldn't resist posting to this. Well said Sass.

    I felt I had a clean break in 1974 and all was well until 2006. It came back to haunt me and the hurt crept in. Those who have made a clean break are fortunate, yet they may still be at risk.

    http://www.psp411.com/mods /psp411_com-mods-1199-1.jp g


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