Who else is tired of the Just Get Over It threads?

by sass_my_frass 56 Replies latest jw friends

  • Paralipomenon

    The best way I can sum up my feelings without offending most of the board is as follows:

    Healing is the destination, not the path. Granted, some people's paths are longer than others.

    Being on the path can be very enlightening, sometimes enjoyable and sometimes painful. But always make sure that your focus is getting to the destination.

    There are some that stop on the path or get distracted from the destination. I see no issue with posts to remind them to keep walking.

    If you are walking, then the message does not apply to you, be glad that it may reach someone that has stopped walking. It is better to be at the destination cheering and encouraging others to keep going than sitting down on the path cheering and encouraging others to pass you.

    Does that make any sense?

  • nvrgnbk

    AlanF once told me this about getting over the JW experience...

    Some people process it in days, some take decades.

    I agree with you in so many ways, Para.

    You've spoken directly and honestly, as does a true friend.

    But how does one just say "I'm over it" about something they were deeply invested in, on every level, for their whole life?

    This goes way beyond losing a loved one or even ending a bad marriage.

    Your very core is being destroyed.

    I look at myself and see I have a long way to go.

    In other ways, I think I've made remarkable progress in a short period of time.

    I always appreciate your reminders.

  • Burger Time
    Burger Time

    greendawn I am not giving them a pass at all...let me rephrase what I was trying to say. The GB members probably have talked themselves into believing the lie. They say, "well we must choose option A. because option B. would be worse.". We do this often in business and personal relationships. We may realize that option A is not the best but option B would cause more turmoil. I don't judge them as evil for simply following human motives. I also don't apologize for them either. What irks me often about some people on here is that again everything the GB does must be some evil plan. Judging them on everything is just as bad as them judging us on everything.

    I in no way endorse telling people to "just get over" anything (I am sure I have been guilty of this in the past also). I have always been independent from religious type things, and have a loving JW family so I have no idea what most of you are going through. I also have tons of pity for people like Oompa who have to not only deal with a break from religion but possibly the implication of breaking from a wife. What I do dislike though is the attitude that it is OK to treat Witnesses the same way they treat most of us. It baffles me that someone could make 1000 posts on how bad shunning is, then say they want to shun their JW family for not following their "rules". That is what annoys me. There seems to be this overly bitter must get revenge mentality here with some people. That is all I am trying to say

  • Gayle

    I have moved on, 'made it thru the rain', left 20 yrs ago, remarried a wonderful man (never a JW) ,,my children are grown & free of the WT baggage. However, to me, the WTS is a thief, still getting away with its robbing way of innocent people lives, time, hearts, money and their youth. It still makes me sick.

  • oompa
    Burger Time there is no doubt in my mind that the GB memebrs are a group of ruthless opportunists who know well their policies cause a lot of harm but will not change them because that will undermine their objectives.

    I think the above was from Greendawn. I had to repost this line I was so distracted---The GB sure do work hard at what they do for little pay, kind of like some elders, it is kind of surprising. Sorry I am getting off the subject a little, but boy has this thead triggered some supportive posts. I have not been able "to get over it" for two years now since really having my eyes opened, and I am still "in." But already, my name and the word Apostate are often in the same sentence, and have been talked to about it by elders. My cell phone use of 2000 minutes a month average, is down to 400, nobody calls anymore. My marraige and relationship with son/friends is very strained, and I am not even OUT YET! I am trying to make new friends, but of course my wife freaks out if I want to have them over.

    weird...can't get over it and not really out of it....hey that's Purgatory!!!....oompa

  • greendawn

    Burger Time thanks for the clarification it's true that many people here go overboard in evaluating JW actions and are predisposed to see the worst in them.

    I have sympathy for the R&F JWs because most of them got duped but I still think the GB don't have any good or valid reasons in monopolising all power or imposing a cruel shunning policy.

    They do have excuses but these are pharisaical they are invalid even if they "don't know" it because they don't want to know it in the first place. Eg we need to have a monopoly of power otherwise there will be many differing conflicting voices and the org will fall apart. That's no excuse in a (supposedly) God directed org. Having many voices could help clarify a lot of issues much quicker than if just a dozen people deal with them.

  • nvrgnbk

    Great way to put it, oompa!

  • Burger Time
    Burger Time

    True that greendawn and I personally agree with you....I guess at the same time I can see the human aspect(I understand they make themselves appear super human)...which makes me an outsider since I don't have much baggage from being part of the Org in a major fashion. So again I have no idea what you guys are going through or went through. Just what I can see. So I find it strange so many harbor JW mentality while at the same time trying to distance themselves as far away as possible.

  • LongHairGal


    I agree with your post. I lurked here for several years before I posted and I saw many 'get over it' threads. I guess many people just don't have empathy or are immature and have no concept of what others have gone through. Some of them come across as contemptuous as though they are 'stronger' or 'smarter' because they don't have any lingering bad effects.

    I joined the religion as an adult and am grateful for the fact that I was fortunate enough to have had a 'normal' childhood not being a JW. I am also grateful that I have no family members in the religion. I am fading. If it were not for the few 'friends' who are still there, I would thumb my nose and would never look back. I was the only idiot in my family who got interested in this. I have spent the last 6-7 yrs. reconnecting with people who I fell out of touch with when I got involved with the religion. Even though I had a regular childhood and my family were not involved, I still have some bad effects from being in the religion. I can only imagine how bad this must be for others. It would be compounded many times over for those who have been in all their lives with their families.

    My heart goes out to them.


  • changeling

    Live and let live.


Share this