A woman with high self esteem doesn't need a man to make them feel like a woman or do anything else for them.
If there is no man to make her feel like a woman, then is she really a woman?
They especially don't want a man that attempts to control or demean them.
Nobody wants that. However, along with the "controlling" or "demeaning" personality comes a man who has the confidence to stand up for himself and has the ability to tell a woman the dreaded "N" word. A man with confidence is an attractive man, even if it's accompanied by abuse.
Feminized, wimpy men don't use the "N" word. They're too afraid to displease the woman, so they give her anything she wants.