My mother-in-law had surgery recently and when ever she does go through medical issues, it brings up something I wonder about. You see, I think the man or husband, in the relationship needs to be strong at those moments. To be the person who people can look to for updated information, perhaps to be the pillar of strength to keep everyone calm in a rough situation and so on. That would make sense, right? Especially if that man was a Witness and bought in to that who, "leadership" and "head of the household," role. Well let me explain my father-in-law in this role.
My father-in-law was born without the mental back bone you would expect from a man. In fact, his is so empty that it sucks in like a void anything that might remotely replace it. Instead, he is a scared worthless fool in any situation. We show up at the hospital to be supportive of the family and walk in to the waiting room to a man who is shaking and rocking back and forth in a chair. He is a heavy set man and I could actually see the flesh quivering. We ask him, "Is everything okay?" Thinking such an appearance would indicate that bad news has arrived while we were gone. He does not speak anything we can make out, more of some nonsense noise and then clears his head enough to say, "Everything is fine."
Well we sit there watching this man do this for awhile and getting all sorts of attention from his behavior, instead of a good slap to reality and told to straighten up. An elder sits with him and tells him things will be okay and we then ask him if he would like something to eat. After all, he had not eaten sense the day before. His response, "If my wife can not eat, I will not eat." We explain, "Your wife can not eat, as she is in surgery. You're not! She would not want you to suffer, she would want you to remain healthy." We give him a sandwich and he fakes gagging on it as he takes small bites. By this point, I am about to volunteer punching this man get him to stop acting this way as it is stressing his family out and these people are here out of concern for his wife and not this display.
Finally a couple hours go by and he is now pacing like an idiot in the hallway and not talking to anyone, while the rest of us are carrying on conversations and messing around with our laptops. His children are fed up and sick of the stupid behavior and have found all attempts to help him, to be a waste of time and insane. Soon the doctor comes out and sees him all stressed and tells him his wife is fine and he should be able to see her in about thirty minutes. He then walks to us, and apologizes and thinks he must have said something to him wrong to make him so concerned on an operation he knew was going to be okay. We explain he did nothing wrong and he leaves.
So you might wonder, "Is he always like this?" Oh yeah, if his wife has a cold, he will not eat until she is healthy. If his wife hurts herself, he will blame himself for what happened ... even when he was not there. He is not a pillar of strength, he is a pit of quick sand that sucks the life of hope from a room. I have never seen anyone this bad in my life, except for this man. I wonder though, am I wrong in thinking that the man in the marriage or relationship should be strong? I just can not help being ultra irritated at this man, every time sickness with his wife comes up. He makes it so much worse then it is.