I walked off the job today....

by Terry 103 Replies latest jw friends

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  Terry

  From what they were telling me, people with Asperger's and ADD or ADHD have trouble concentrating when they are bored. My son is a very bright kid. In fact, he's scoring very high on his science that he's only 2 points being "gifted" but if you put him in a place that doesn't challenge his brain, he'll lock up, he can't focus. What the schools did was put him on a "special" program to help him with school. If he's bored, they will put him in another class that is more challenging. The doctors also put him on meds to help him focus more.

  Oh, the doctors did say that if a child has this problem then it's more than likely they got it from a parent of grandparent.

  You seem very intelligent and your brain may need more of a challenge or something to help your brain to focus better.

  Anyway, just thought I'd throw that out there.

  My son is in a gifted and "special" school (they work around their problems) and his grade average is A right now. But, every day is a battle. He does have to be challenged to produce. If he is bored it is all over. Getting him not to be his own worst enemy is the obstacle. Right now it is working. We worry long term about career, socializing, etc.

  Heredity plays a dominant role no doubt. His mother has a hoarder problem and stays manic until she crashes. So, his DNA looks like a pig's tail.

  When I am at a job where you are forced to perform procedures that don't make sense it goes through me like a spike. Routines drive me crazy. Dealing with the public is always hard no matter what. I've done better at this job than ever in the past. So, it must be the accumulation of a great many tiny conflicts that broke this camel's back.

  Ahh, to learn about one's self is always an amazing task. We think we know who/what we are....but do we really?
• 

  Open mind

  Good morning Terry!
  
  The world has turned once since you first posted. Glad you're still here talking with people who care about you. I haven't had time to read the last two pages, but just wanted to say hang in there again and feel free to PM me anytime.
  
  Take care brother,
  
  Open Mind
• 

  LongHairGal

  Terry:

  I am not going to pretend to be a 'mental health' expert but I am wondering if what precipitated this was several people coming at you simultaneously. It seems like you work with the public. We are not meant to handle things like this. I work in an office that has been downsized and I sometimes have the problem of having to be real confrontational when several rude people think they are going to come at me at the same time. Some of them are so ridiculous they just start blurting things out without regard to whatever else I am doing and I feel like I am the victim of a drive-by. It is necessary to tell people "No!"

  While I am not saying it wouldn't help if you had a visit with somebody who 'knows', if this is a job-related situation that is out of control you need to speak to your supervisor and tell this person that certain things have to stop and that neither you nor anybody else can function with certain things going on as they are.

  I also wonder if it is sort of a post-tramatic stress sort of thing because of the religion. Are you playing out past dramas inside of your head while you are at work? This can cause severe stress and is sad if you are still suffering because of all that. I ask this question because I have to catch myself when I lapse into a mood and reminded of the bastards coming up to me. I have no tolerance for them.

  LHG
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  Sunnygal41

  at least some inappropriate comment didn't come out of the side of your neck...........i've done that a coupla times.............one i lost my job over.............mine is usually from dealing with stress and anxiety and repressing them for a long time...........sorta like steam not having an escape valve..........then, BOOOOOOM, THAR SHE BLOWS..........you took a step in the right direction........

  me
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  Terry

  I'm still waiting on a callback for appointment by the therapist.......it is 4:03 right now. I wonder how long it would take if I hadn't said it was an emergency??

  Anyway...

  Today I notice any sort of waiting stresses me. I took my daughter to a doctor's appointment for allergies and almost crawled out of my skin in the waiting room for 45 minutes.

  Then, a few minutes ago I had to wait in line for an ice cream for my son and I while 4 women made up their mind about which flavor they wanted. I was ready to climb the wall. I really must be tense.
• 

  AlphaOmega

  I'm still waiting on a callback for appointment by the therapist.......it is 4:03 right now. I wonder how long it would take if I hadn't said it was an emergency??

  Anyway...

  Today I notice any sort of waiting stresses me. I took my daughter to a doctor's appointment for allergies and almost crawled out of my skin in the waiting room for 45 minutes.

  Then, a few minutes ago I had to wait in line for an ice cream for my son and I while 4 women made up their mind about which flavor they wanted. I was ready to climb the wall. I really must be tense.

  EDITED TO REMOVE PERSONAL INFO Terry you have a PM AO
• 

  purplesofa

  I have no tolerance for waiting either.

  I give good service with my job and I expect it from others. Waiting shows ineffiency, and lack of concern for others time. It's all perception actually.

  Some things just arent worth the wait, making somone wait feels controlling. It almost makes me claustophobic to wait. Long suffering I can do, but waiting .........well waiting makes me angry.

  maybe we could get enough people together to see the therapist and get a group rate!

  purps
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  Hortensia

  Terry, I read every one of the posts and your answers. I noticed a few things -

  "brave little soldier" is really not very functional because it means you are not paying attention to your own needs (IMO)

  waiting makes your skin crawl, and your other symptoms. Used to call it nervous breakdown, now it's called burnout, but it means you are seriously overloaded. You are too responsible, I bet.

  right now you feel loved and you know people like you. I bet you could have that feeling more often if you open up, share your feelings, whine more often, and let other people give YOU some attention now and then. By the way, I like you. Like your posts - even when you are testy as I rather like testy people.

  One of the admirable things about you is your love and care for your children. I was a JW kid with a seriously deprived and crappy childhood. I can relate. I envy your kids.

  I have some of the same problems, seriously overloaded, depressed, my business isn't doing well, my husband tried to kill me, yadda yadda yadda. I decided to quit feeling like I need to take care of everyone else and go ahead and whine a bit. I make sure my friends get equal time whining, but I'm trying not to be the stoic heroic type - it doesn't work.

  Love and peace to everyone on this forum

  Hortensia
• 

  Eliveleth

  Terry,

  I read every one of the posts on this thread about your walking. I was overwhelmed with the love and caring. Ever since you told us on the post about "faith",that you have a "God-sized" hole, I have been praying for you. You touched my heart with your openness. I have found in my life that opening up to people and sharing my heart has been one of the most freeing things that I have ever done. This is something we could not do as JWs, but you have a whole network of caring people on this board. I am glad that you are going for therapy. That can help. But you have a whole group of "listeners" here. Sometimes this is the solution. Why do you think that psychiatrists get the big bucks. Someone else suggested that you visit a medical doctor. I, like you, find medical doctors and drugs, something that I avoid like the plague. But having tests for physical problems is a good thing. I believe all mental problems stem from physical deficiencies. When you are under stress, your adrenal glands can really do a number on you. When my brother-in-law was a missionary in Honduras (as a JW) he began to have hallucinations and had to come home. Fortunately for him, he found a doctor that treated him for stressed adrenals and he got well within a few months.

  You are a caring, helpful person. You have touched me. I am continuing to pray that you will be open to God finding you.

  Love and hugs,

  Velta
• 

  Terry

  ...and the well-wishes, kind words and support continue!

  I got to see my therapist today (Psychologist).

  This doctor has been the "family" therapist going back at least 7 years. Haven't had need/occasion to see in for awhile.

  I think he helped my mood and outlook today.

  He gave me a doctor's excuse for 2 weeks off from work. Jeepers!

  I hope/think this will be covered by my sick days/holidays/insurance. If so, that is a huge load off my mind. If not---Jeepers!

  The doctor thinks I don't take care of my own needs at all and utterly neglect my own welfare to the point an emergency was declared (internally) by the self-monitor in charge of self-preservation.

  He is referring me to a psychiatrist for eval and possible meds. Gulp!

  In the meantime I see him twice a week.

  I have to stop trying to pass muster by pleasing people, evidently.

  I have to rethink my definition of duty, too.

  This is ironic. I espouse objectivism's standard of taking care of yourself FIRST before trying to address the needs of others and here I end up in a kind of spiral of self-sacrifice for kids and job! Go figure. I'm a hypocrite!

  This shall be a real journey for me.

  Stay tuned...