by Crumpet 133 Replies latest jw experiences
Crumps:
I do not understand the refs to Homer nor the crimson. Are you all right?
CoCo
I apologise for my oblique references. Homer Simpson is a cartoon character of extreme wit and in his latest and only movie is a scene in which he is literally caught between a rock and a hard place. Crimson: I pretend I am the lamb and wash myself clean in me. (I think I may well read this back to myself later and be quite certain I am mad now.)
Here is a site I read about that I think would be of great interest to anyone who is suffering from bipolar disorder, or other mental illnesses:
Interesting Mary thanks for that info. It is something I will look into. In my case The Villi in my stomach has been destroyed and I cannot digest proteins. My blood has no iron vitamin D, folic acid and a host of other goodies. Celiacs, is known to cause cognitive impairment due to this absorbsion problem. I will be soon scheduling an appoinment with doctors to see if there is some meds they can give me that will help. If you are correct this would be great. I am leary however of the great claims of many quacks. Its seems safer than most remedies and worth researching however. I would prefer that kind of cocktail to the others. Thats for sure.
although i do not suffer from bipolar disorder, my therapist thinks i might be borderline.........iow, not full blown........technically, i am diagnosed with dysthymia, and have suffered for over twenty years with it. I sought medical help for it in my late 20's, after white knuckling for over ten years. I bless the medical community that we have the option of medication, unlike so many suffering souls of decades ago when drug therapy was still in it's rudimentary stages. that said, i know how bad bipolar can get because my bf of 8 years has it. before we met, he dealt with it by drugging and drinking. he is lucky to be alive. he has tried medication, but, at this time, chooses not to take it. i have him on vitamins, such as super b's, etc. i applaud your courage to get help and encourage you to at least try medication. it helps many many people live normal lives, that would not be possible.
terri
bttt - Hope and relief, please, for all who suffer. Thank you, S and A, for JWD ....
CoCo
Hello Nina,
I know this thread's getting pretty long, and I'm sorry I didn't jump in sooner. Just wanted to add my name to the long list of people who are concerned for you. It took a lot of courage to share this here and I applaud you for that.
Here's to many more good days ahead!
Open Mind
p.s. On the bright side, be glad you don't have to bang on doors or suffer through meetings and ASSemblies anymore! I swear, sometimes I wish the K Hall had a "medication counter" right next to the magazines and litterature!
Thank you CoCo and Open Mind. This has to be one of the hardest days of my life. Normally I can pull myself out, I can conjure up the cheerful girl who sees the funny side of the bleakest thing.
I went to my doctor this afternoon and begged for help. I had said previously I didnt want medication, but I know that I need it desperately. But he couldnt give me anything because he said the anti depressants he would normally prescribe could actually make me worse if it is decided by the doctors at the clinic that I am bi polar. So I have to wait until my appointment comes through there. When I left the doctors I broke down in the street, my legs just gave way and I burst into tears.
What is the hardest is having no shoulder to cry on - no one who knows me nearby. I just feel so desperate. And so alone. Maybe this is all karma for me saying months back how much I loved to be alone. And its true I do, just not 100% of the time as it is these days.
Hey Crumpet, I'm bipolar too and have been for over 30 years. I've now been on disability for something like 16 years and can't tell what my future holds yet. I've had a really hard time the last three years. I've had my meds changed so many times only to find they wouldn't work or that the side effects were so bad I couldn't tolerate the drugs. Finally at the end of May of this year I was started on Depakote and Effexor. The meds took about 3 and a half weeks to kick in but once they did -- what a difference. For the past 3 years I have spent most of my time in deep, suicidal depressions and have been hospitalized 3 times. I had absolutely no energy. I mostly just laid around in bed all day and night watching TV. I was already overweight but of course gained even more. It was not even worth the effort on most days to bathe or even brush my teeth. My small apartment was filthy and hadn't really been clean in the three years I'd lived here. Sometimes I'd get a rare burst of energy (mania) where I'd get quite a bit done and then I'd crash again into depression for weeks and sometimes into months at a time and the cycles would start all over again. In March another catastrophic diagnosis hit -- At nearly 200 lbs, I now had diabetes, type 2. I suddenly had to change my diet, monitor my blood sugar, and start exercising. I wasn't motivated at all to do any of this. But somehow, with the help of the American Diabetes Assoc. and my doctor I was able to start making small, simple changes. The first thing i did was to start walking for 30 min. 3 days a week. Oh how I hated that. Everything hurt when I walked and I would sweat so much and was physically uncomfortable. I would huff and puff. My first time out it took me 30 min to walk 1/2 mile. When I got home from walking, sometimes I'd shower but most of the time I wouldn't. I'd just take my clothes off and hit the bed for the rest of the day and wonder if there really was a better way to live. Things continued this way until the end of May when Dr. daines started me on the new meds. By the end of June, my mood had so much improved and seemed stable. One week would move into the next with continued stability. By this time I had done a complete reworking of my diet to manage the diabetes and started losing weight. Since March 27, I have now lost 30 pounds and 11 inches off my waist. My pyschiatrist had been trying to convince me for years that I needed to add daily vigorous exercise to my life to help keep my mental health stable. It was always easier to ignore that advice. I guess in the end it really took the added diagnosis of diabetes and learning really how serious that disease is if it is not managed properly that woke me up. All in all, I think everything has had a positive impact on my bipolar disorder as well. Oh, and one other thing I had to give up upon learning I had diabetes was smoking. I haven't touched a cigg since March 27. I have worked myself up to engaging in vigorous exercise for 90 min. a day 7 days a week now. I do this not so much to maintain weight loss as to keep my heart in shape and maintain a stable and positive mood. I guess my whole point is that things can and will get better. Medications are important as are other things you can do to maintain your health. I'm 52 now and have lived most of my adult life not taking care of myself. For the first time in my life I'm feeling pretty good now. Good luck to you as you begin the search for medications that work to calm your mind. Johannah
Crumpie - we're all pulling for you. Check in soon, 'k?
Just catching up - how you doing? Keep thinking you can see light now at the end of the tunnel, only a little longer till you reach it...
Hold in there girl, do as much routine as you can manage and look after your responsibilities as best you can, keep busy, dont think and survive this, you've done it before you can do it now.
Thinking of you
CS 101
