Should I wait to be questioned by the elders? or take my leave in advance?

by Thinking of Leaving 62 Replies latest jw experiences

  • nonamegiven

    Like I said, I have been a part of 2 JC meetings. I had questions like:

    Where did you touch her

    Where did she touch you

    Did you have an erection

    Was she sexually excited

    Did you enjoy it

    Did she enjoy it

    Did you reach climax

    Did she reach climax

    How many times

    How often

    What clothes were removed and by whome

    Could you see her genitals

    and the list goes on. These two JC meetins were at different congo's and a decade apart.

  • JH

    Play their game and ignore them, like they will ignore you very soon.

    Maybe by ignoring them and not responding to them, they won't do anything, lack of proof.

  • Thinking of Leaving
    Thinking of Leaving

    I cannot believe they would ask those questions but you all would know!!

    An elder who I'm assuming is part of my JC called twice yesterday but I didn't answer the phone. I want to tell them to leave me alone and do whatever they want with me but I don't know how to muster up the courage to do this. I'm so nervous. In my heart I know what I want but I've been a JW since I was 15, this is hard.

    On a side note, I saw my "worldly" boyfriend yesterday and he gave me three beautiful red roses, a wonderful card and a silver neckace for V Day. I feel so blessed to have found him. I'm in my thirties now and would of been waiting around for the perfect "brother" to do those things for me and maybe he would find me spiritual enough to marry. Let's just say I would of still been waiting. I'm already experiencing a measure of freedom and it's the most wonderful thing imagineable

  • Thinking of Leaving
    Thinking of Leaving

    You know something "no name given", I would not have answered those questions. I've already prepared myself to walk out of that meeting once those questions start. This is truly unbelievable

  • tall penguin
    tall penguin

    I had an elder calling wanting to meet with me, under the guise of a "shepherding call". I knew that really they wanted to ask me personal questions about my life and my view of the org. After ignoring his calls and emails, I finally emailed this elder (thus it was in writing...a good legal tactic btw) and told him I felt his "loving" calls felt like harassment and that I would contact him if and when I felt good and ready. He backed off.

    In the end, I DA'd, but it was in my time when I was ready for it. Do not allow these men to have any power over you. Threaten legal action if you have to. This is your life. Don't let them fuck with it.

    tall penguin

  • truthsetsonefree

    Thinking of Leaving, those are DEFINITELY the kind of questions you will hear. I have chaired many JCs. It was gut-wrenching to put people through this. But they are supposed to do it to determine motives. You know a letter of disassociation will short circuit that whole process. If they KNOW (two witnesses to a confession) that you sinned, then they can and will convene the committee in abstentia and df you by default if you don't show.


  • Thinking of Leaving
    Thinking of Leaving

    well I already admitted to two of them that I have sinned, so if I don't meet with them again they can go ahead and DF me. I won't be returning their calls. I won't put myself through those questions, no one should have to know the intimate details of my life.

  • JWdaughter

    Erm, . . .please stop calling it the 'truth' unless you truly believe it to be so. If you do, perhaps you should not 'burn your bridges' in your disassociation. IOW, tell them that you can't face a comittee at this time and they need to do what they need to do. If you DO (after all this) think it is 'truth', you likely don't want to have them looking at your crosswise later when you do return. Which I don't encourage, but look at all the ones here that have been through it 2x (at least in JC, if not DF'd). There is a likelihood that until you internalize the facts about the org., that you will return. I don't think you need to hate them personally, or be bitter towards the org. to truly believe they don't have the truth. But until you are leaving for a reason other than to "continue sinning", there is a good chance you will go back. BTW, I have an objection to those who leave for the sinning reason, cause they paint us all with that brush, and frankly I am sick of people assuming I am some pervert sex maniac (you know all ex-JWs ARE, don't you? :) )just because I left the religion.

    I wish you well in your decision.


    edited to say: Hey, please-I don't have an objection to how you choose to live your life. You sound like you finally have some happiness and the person you are with is making you happy. SIN all day long, I just wish you were leaving cause you didn't believe it. But you gotta do what YOU gotta do, and I support that. And make love and babies and joy with your 'worldly man' who loves you and cares for you-because really, all we have in our lives are those that we love. So love.


  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    Just walk away and leave the B.S. behind. Now me I would turn that meeting into an orgy confessional that would make the editor of hustler blush. I wonder what there response would be to more than yes or no answers, to the did you climax question.

  • jwfacts

    I would send a letter of dissassociation. There is a lot more power in telling them you no longer want to be part of what you now know to be a cult, than to be made to look like a petty sinner.

Share this