Should I wait to be questioned by the elders? or take my leave in advance? (page 4)

anewme

Thinking, after reading your comments I can see you are not the type who will enjoy meeting with the elders at a Judicial Committee. Avoid it.

Best wishes for a happy new life dear

Anewme

I definitely vote for not meeting with them.

When they sent word by my dad back about 1985 that they wanted to meet with me, I told him I was not meeting with them and nothing I did was any of their business. I had already been inactive for several years but a boyfriend had recently moved in with me. (Dad probably is the one that told them.)

Anyway nothing happened! The family took it upon themselves to shun me for a while until the boyfriend moved out but I never heard from the elders again.

You do not owe the elders anything. Nothing you do is any of their business.

Abandoned

I now know what I need to do. I'm waiting for the PO to contact me to find out when the JC is meeting with me, when he does I'll tell him to go ahead and DF me because I'm unrepentant and do not need 3 elders to tell me such.

I salute your moxie.

edited to add:Mary, you rule!!!

nonamegiven

As one who has had to endure these JC meetins twice in my life I'd say IF you do go, it would only be to have some fun with them. I'd not preach because you would do better trying to convince us that the "truth" is the truth then trying to preach to them. You mentioned that they have been nice to you. They will be. Most JW's are good people and are nice most of the time. But when that door closes it will be a different story. You will have 3 brothers. One you more than likely will not know real well so he won't say much. There will be one who is close to you and you have a good relationship with and you will have one that is a real ass-hat. During the questioning, the one who you don't know real well will just look like a deer in headlights, the one you know well will treat you like a human being but will ask you all the questions like, "did you like it, how many times did you do it, what positions did you try, can we PLEASE see the video" and the like. Brother ass-hat will use scriptures to show you how bad you are and that you are deserving of death.

Like I said, if you go, make it worth it. Have fun with them.

BluesBrother

I liked this comment

Get the hell out of there in the way that suits you the best. You don't owe them anything, least of all an intimate interview about your alleged sins

Personally, I would play along for the game, why make it easy for them, I would agree a date postpone it then go and say nothing - if they d/f then I would appeal, string it out. If they are meeting with me they are not with anybody else, but each to his own..

HockeyMullet

Also, quit calling it the truth. The only truth about it is is that it's a destructive cult with false teachings. Everytime I hear the word "truth", I get pissed thinking about the douchey stories all of us saps used to talk about(in our car groups out in service) how we came into the "truth" and other BS topics. Embarassing.

Thinking of Leaving

are you guys absolutely sure they will ask such personal questions like if I enjoyed it or what positions??that just makes meif that's the case then I'm definitely not going to that meeting. I hardly know these elders, they never showed an active interest in me in the first place, now they want me to sit there, in front of total strangers and say what I did wrong???I will only be tempted to tell them it's none of their business and walk out of that meeting, so I should probably tell them over the phone and save them the time. As for the suggestions to lie about being in traffice and all that, I'm sorry but no matter what happens to me, DF or not, I won't lie about anything. I will still try and abide by the Bible's clear admonition to be truthful with one another. Thanks for the suggestions anyhow.

wanderlustguy

The elders are just like the guy sweping the floor at 7-11...or may actually be.

Would you stop him with your fresh cup of coffee in hand to have him evaluate your life/choices/religion about what is in your cup?

Or maybe the window guy?

Go on about your business and drink your coffee the way you want.

WLG

ButtLight

Thinking.........

When I was 18, I went to the JC meeting for fornication. I was not asked any of those hidious questions. But every congregation is different, and all the elders are too. But I also knew all the elders most of my life, that may have made a big difference.

If I knew there was a slightest chance of them asking stuff they did to others, no way would I go....even if I was repentant. No one should have to go through that. Its too bad someone doesnt have this sort of questioning on tape.........I consider it sexual harrassment!

Synergy

They will most certainly ask you every detail...and if you refuse to tell them they'll think you're being uncooperative with the headship arrangement. I got asked every disgusting question possible...and I was only 16. They got off on it. Haven't they already ruled over enough of your life without giving them the pleasure of imaging you intimately and then casting you off? I say don't go.

Should I wait to be questioned by the elders? or take my leave in advance?