What do women REALLY want?

by Abandoned 138 Replies latest social relationships

  • Abandoned

    LOL. I'd forgotten about this thread.

    Most women will find this out and leave mistreatment. You have no idea how much an abused little girl needs to grow up and be treated right, they want it, they may not have found out that they deserve it yet. Men have no idea how much little girls/women suffer, and how many of us have. Do you know how many of us have suffered violent rapes? The number used to be 1 in 4. Don't expect us to tell you about any of it, just treat us as if we were your princess.

    I hear this a lot. I'm sorry for those who have gone through this. I've gone through abuse before too. But, I haven't had any success treating women like a princess. I'm getting OK with it though as I make a lot more progress on my writing goals when I'm not seeing anyone, but "princess treatment" isn't the answer. When you tell the truth, you told the WRONG truth. When you open the door, you're chauvenistic. When you try to pay, you must have a hidden agenda.

    But, maybe you're right. Maybe I've just spent too much time with those playing games so no matter what I did was going to be interpretted in relation to the GAME. Oh well.

  • Apostate Kate
    Apostate Kate

    Abandonded those of us who have faced some abuse are in a class all our own male or female, though there are many of us. Treating a woman like a princess probably means many different things to different people.

    I think of the polarization of Paris Hilton's narcissistic escapades and dear Terry Irwin who just lost Steve. Paris wants a multi million dollar diamond ring, Terry wanted an animal activist like herself. When Terry talks of Steve, she mourns not for the diamon ring he gave her, but his romantic passion for her, crocs, all animals and the earth. I don't think he wasted time opening doors for her when they had a gigantic croc in the truck bed.

    Thus we must know ourselves and find someone who shares our passions for anything lasting to have a chance.

    For me it was never about money, although I did set a standard that I would not allow a man to take from me financially. I also have no need to have a man give me money to show his love, money does not equate love to me.

    Princess lessons; (warning- old fashioned values)

    Do NOT try to seduce a date/friend in any way shape or form even if you think she wants it. Most do. We get horny too that doesn't make it the right thing to do. Be mature and hold back.

    Do NOT expect us to take care of you and if we do anything for you at all, appreciate it.

    Keep in mind that we are nurturers by nature, don't take advantage of that.

    Listen closely to what we say and you will learn what we need from you. Some women want flowers, candy, doors opened etc, some don't. You want to find these things out. I couldn't care less for all that. Listening closely will also tell you if a woman is interested in you or your favors.

    Don't spend 1 penny on us unless it is a free gift. We don't need your sex deposits. Give freely if you feel it, don't if you don't. That way if it doesn't work out you will have no regrets.

    You deserve someone really special Thomas. When I go to the city I meet so many people living shallow lives. People who live for clothes, things, new cars, media induced madness, that just doesn't seem like you. You need a woman that values the elderly, life, simple things. Think about it, if there were many women out there who value the elderly like you do, why would there be so many lonely seniors in nursing homes without visitors?

    It's not you my friend.

  • Abandoned

    Thanks Kate, you can bet I'm going to think a lot about what you said. I think it's time I got back into elderly care too. Resumé time....

  • Pleasuredome

    one girl i went out with told me that she wanted to be treated like a lady. so that was the end of that.

  • J-ex-W

    FHN . really? i expect all women to say that. but then i expect the majority of young women to go for guys who will treat them like that. not because they conciously want to be treated like that, but because subconciously they want a guy who treats them badly because it offers them comfort in that they know what they are getting.

    most young women cant stand the thought of forming a relationship with a guy who is gentle, intellegent, deep, sensitive, because it causes unpredictability, it creates uncertainty for the woman in her mind. the challenge is on an intellectual level rather than on an emotional level and most young women dont like that.

    Pleasuredome---------- What you're describing is not what women 'want' vs. what women don't want. What you're describing is inexperience/ naivety vs. experience and knowledge gained. Also describing dysfunctional vs. functional social expectations. These things go across gender...male or female doesn't matter.

    Either you want someone who can meet you on an emotionally/ psychologically healthy level or you don't. But don't make the sweeping generalisation that social dysfunction is what women WANT. That hits upon the DEFINITION of dysfunction: How far away are your actions/ lifestyle from your statedbeliefs/ value systems/ goals is what determines the degree of dysfunction.


    --Not even women who demonstrate dysfunction. What they WANT is different from the level they are presently capable of operating on. That is all.

    And how good a man are you--are you one who will give them the good and healthy, even though they have not yet had sufficienct experience in this realm to understand the 'rules' of that game and play at a practiced level? That's what it comes down to. Exposure, experience, and practice. Obviously, they've had enough exposure to the crappy stuff...have the decency to give the good stuff when it is in your power to do so.


  • J-ex-W

    Apostate Kate---------- I couldn't agree more with your ENTIRE post!!

  • J-ex-W

    Pleasuredome------ Maybe you should have tried to find out what being treated like a lady meant to that particular woman. Have you not read Apostate Kate's thread?

    Either you're extremely shallow--and, therefore, attracting nothing but extremely shallow--or you just need to let go of some your black and white ideas about women and dating. Seriously...you're sounding more and more pathetic by now.

  • Pleasuredome

    i could have sworn i was implying they had dysfunction, not wanted dysfunction. i guess you'll read into it what you want, i wonder why that would be....

    Seriously...you're sounding more and more pathetic by now.

    'seriously'. yep, that word fits you all right. maybe one day you'll get my humour. maybe that'll be the day i come across a 'lady'.

  • crazyblondeb

    I want something I can't have!!!!

  • Warlock

    THEY don't even know what they want.


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