Would you forgive an elder that disfellowshipped you?

sass_my_frass

Say you get a call, and the guy on the line identifies himself as one of your condemners. He has been through his own flavour of hell as he's left too. He's turned himself around and wants to apologise and ask if you can forgive him for the damage he has done to you and your family. What would you say?

Me, I'd tell him I'd think about it, and to call me back some other time. If he does I'd tell him then that I'm grateful for the freedom I got and it's okay as I'd never have been this happy if they'd voted to show me mercy. I just wouldn't want him to dismiss it straight away; he deserves a bit of a guilt trip I reckon.

I should stop goofing around with these fantasy scenarios...

Stealth453

Long or short answer?

Long....No

Short...NO

nelly136

i just pity the ones that dfd me. all those years for a golden carrot that doesnt exist.

nicolaou

Well I haven't been df'd yet but it's only a matter of time. Still, when it does happen if one of those elders "turned himself around and wants to apologise and ask if [I] can forgive him for the damage he has done to [me] and [my] family" well then I'd like to think that yes, I would forgive him.

I know what I was capable of as a JW.

lfcviking

Well i thought the procedure of disfellowshipping wasn't the decision of ONE Elder it had to be between at least THREE Elders?

But in the case of him sincerely apologising for his actions, what sort of a person would you be if you didn't forgive him?

Dansk

If we can't forgive someone who is truly contrite over their action(s) then we need to thoroughly examine ourselves as to our humanness!

Ian

garybuss

I guess I might consider the debt paid when the damage is repaired. It's like if you dent my car fender and call me and ask for forgiveness without first repairing the fender. An apology is a defence. You could apologize and blame me, and nothing's changed.

An amend is to mend, make it like it was. Amend is different than apology, lots different. First you amend the damage you caused THEN you ask acknowledgement that the debt is paid. Then you have some basis to hope for restoration.

If you call me and ask me to pay your debt without you first even attempting to repair the damage, I'll probably hang up on ya. First you gotta get past my caller ID. If your an elder who caused damage to me, your ass wipe name ain't exactly on my buddy list.

geevee

A little while ago I posted about my experience where I met a guy that I was on his JC and we disfellowshipped him. This guy was taken out on a loophole and the JC played the unwritten directions to the letter. It always felt bad.....I mean real bad.
One day I was having a D&M with one of the other members of the JC [whom by then was NOT and elder] and he said he always felt that it had been wrong to DF this particular guy.

So...getting to the point, I saw him, went up to him and spoke, we shook hands, he introduced me to his new wife and two children, then I got the chance to apologize and told him I have always had a struggle with how the whole thing went down. He doesn't hold a grudge. He said not to continue to struggle, that we did him a favor and he has moved on. I said that I always feel sick when I think about it and he again said not to any more......forgiveness at it's most best I'd say.

So I know the long and short is NO for some, but to be on the end of a YES is something special, and if you would ever find it in your heart to move in that direction, if the opportunity presented, you may find growth.
After all, the former elder/executor is now on a huge learning curve if he has stepped away from the cult mindset too, and your forgiveness may just help him to move on.
Remember, it is just my opinion. Thanks

jayhawk1

Forgive me for posing this question, but I must ask...

Is it wrong of me to continue to wish for an elder's death and forgive the bastard? This guy is old and I would like nothing better than to see the jerk gone from this Earth, because of making my JW life a living hell.

MsMcDucket

If I had of been disfellowshipped by some elder, I'd probably run up to him and hug him! I'd be like you saved my life and made me open my eyes! I'd probably make a shrine to the mothersucker! I mean really he would be the guy that made me realize the truth about the truth. I'm hoping that some witness will stumble my children. It seems that it takes some serious event within the religion to happen in order to get the person to question the organization.

Would you forgive an elder that disfellowshipped you?

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