Would you forgive an elder that disfellowshipped you? (page 3)

garybuss

S4t, you wrote: "I never harbor resentment for men that honestly believe there actions were in ours or gods or gods peoples best interest, no matter how misguided they were."

Does that mean you condone the Nazis and Hitler's SS? I don't, absolutely not!

In my opinion, it's largely because of the knowledge they are pre-forgiven and there are no consequences that Jehovah's Witnesses continue to insult and injure people.

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

without having read the other posts, my gut reaction is that perhaps i'd say to him, "well didn't you say that the repentance must be equal or greater than the sin committed? part of me wishes i could put you through what i've been through, and see you try to 'prove' your regret over what you have done, but mostly i would never wish upon you or anybody the emotional turmoil i've been through. also i do believe you were brainwashed."

but who can say for sure what we would do unless we are actually in the situation?

outoftheorg

I really don't know FOR SURE what I might do.

When I appealed their earlier decision I could hardly believe what I saw on the second.

The three elders involved in the first, came in and flopped down in their chairs and their acts told every body that they were disgusted that they had to come and showed nothing but anger.

One of the second group SCREAMED yes I mean screamed at me "if you don't think we have the authority to do this, here it is."

Then he held up the "fuck the flock book "magazine' and SCREAMED AGAIN here it is.

At times I still have thoughts about doing severe physical damage to a few of them.

Outoftheorg

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

Reading through the other posts, I would also like to point out that I know how it feels to do things I personally regret now, but felt was right at the time. I was nothing but downright rude and self-righteous on a regular basis to my younger sister who left the religion before me. I have since tearfully apologized on numerous occasions to her, as my regret and sorrow runs so deep for the pain I caused her by my words and actions.

She has said to me "I forgave you a long time ago. I know that wasn't you doing those things. You were led to believe that you had the truth and God's backing and you did what you thought was right and best for me. Please forgive yourself and let it go."

This has freed both of us.

I forgive my elders for what they have done. All six of them. I hope they are not tortured by it for the rest of their lives.

Genuinely,

Good Girl or Bad Girl

tijkmo

i would have..in fact the elder that was the chairman on my jc was also a temporary c.o.. i had made a decision that when i got reinstated - because i would no longer be able to pioneer or be an elder again etc etc etc - then i would busy myself doing lots of things i could do e.g visit the older folk those sick at home or in hosp...and i also decided that when the chairman of my commitee was having to do a substitute circuit week and therefore needed to get all his secular work i.e window cleaning done on the monday..that i would help him free of charge so he wouldn't have that as an additional concern..

he never knew that that was my plan

didnt matter..he refused to reinstate me....i was only reinstated because another cong got involved and after i was that elder never spoke to me again..despite other elders telling him to stop treating me like i was still df...

some lyrics i wrote about it.....

tried to be the bigger man here
but you made me very small indeed, very small indeed
want to forgive you, needing you to ask
knowing that you never will, which makes you even smaller still

forgiveness is irrelevent now...sometimes you forgive someone just because you want them in your life....and i don't anymore.

he was my friend

Euphemism

In a heartbeat.

Perhaps it's because, if I'd remained a Witness for a few more years, I'd probably have become an elder and sat on JCs myself. Perhaps it's because I helped convert at least one young man into the Witnesses, and I hope that if he ever leaves, he forgives me for that. Perhaps it's because I gave other young Witnesses bad advice, advice that made them feel guilty for not following the ridiculous "moral" standards of the Watchtower.

Perhaps it's because--even though it didn't feel right in my gut--I, too, shunned disfellowshipped people.

There are some elders who are simply power-hungry or emotionally abusive assholes, who would be despicable people no matter what faith they were in. But there are many others who are uncomfortably fulfilling what they believe is their duty to God and man. And I can't hold a grudge against them.

Because in mind and spirit, I was one of them.

BabaYaga

Beautiful thread, thanks for the original post and to all who contributed...

May I just say it looks like there are a lot of healed and healthy people here. Thank you for sharing your strength and forgiveness.

Love to all,
Baba.

restrangled

Tijkmo,

tried to be the bigger man here
but you made me very small indeed, very small indeed
want to forgive you, needing you to ask
knowing that you never will, which makes you even smaller still

I love this. Do you have more ?

r.

tijkmo

I love this. Do you have more ?

do i have more.. does the pope have a balcony??

tried to post the whole song but for some reason the site wont let me...had probs with this in the past too..trying something different now..hope it works

While you stand and shake your head in silent condemnation
But you never ever gave a thought to lend a helping hand
Leaving me torn between the desire to let go..And the need to make a stand
Tried to be the bigger man here but you made me very small indeed very small indeed
Want to forgive you needing you to ask..Knowing that you never will knowing that you never will
Didn't fall for your charms baby didn't fall for your charms
You sadly lacking in that department anyway
Fell for your pain And you caused more of that you will ever know
Tried to be the bigger man here But you made me very small indeed very small indeed
Want to forgive you needing you to ask Knowing that you never will..Which makes you even smaller still
It's not the words of all our enemies that we remember
It's the silence of our friends the silence of our friends
Tell the truth you losers tell the truth
For the truth shall set you free the truth shall set you free
Look what they've done to your son ma look what they've done to your son ma
They said they would get it right boy did they get it wrong ma
And look what they've done to your son

the song is called mokosatsu..which is a japanese word meaning to kill with silent contempt..which i learned from watching a prog on hiroshima...havent got round to recording this song properly yet..i just have a very rough rushed acoustic version...but the last verse is sung to the tune of melanies hit - look what they've done to my song - if you remember that..

got plenty more where that came from . if you wanna hear just holla...don't wanna bug ya

IP_SEC

Forgive? What is there to be forgiven over? You know what you sign up for when becoming a dub. You become a dub and you reserve no rights. Besides getting df'd and getting on with life is a great gift.

Would you forgive an elder that disfellowshipped you?

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