Would you forgive an elder that disfellowshipped you? (page 5)

NewYork44M

I have not been disfellowshipped. If there was an attempt to change my status I would let my lawyer work on a forgiveness strategy.

pratt1

Of course I would.

I am much happier now, and quite frankly, my forgiveness of any one has more to do with me moving on and letting go.

It has very little to do with how it effects the other person.

I had an elder apologize to my mother (not me) for the way he treated me. I don't know how I felt. Didn't really think about it but didn't trust him or any of the rest of them after the reinstatement. Just so frustrating! You're life is completely turned upside down, you lose so much and then they say "oops, we're sorry...should have done it differently" these dumb a** men were in judgement of your life at one time. Never again!

Justice-One

Say you get a call, and the guy on the line identifies himself as one of your condemners. He has been through his own flavour of hell as he's left too. He's turned himself around and wants to apologise and ask if you can forgive him for the damage he has done to you and your family. What would you say?

I would invite him over for dinner. Then after I kicked his ass, and had a nice meal. We could be lifelong friends. - Actually, I would have no problem at all forgiving him. After all, we have all made our own journeys to freedom, some taking longer than others. But trust and friendship might be a long time coming...if it ever did.

tan

One of the second group SCREAMED yes I mean screamed at me "if you don't think we have the authority to do this, here it is."

I was screamed at too. What makes me sick now is that I was so young and inexperienced. I didn't know what was going on. 18, but naive then. The second time was bad too, but I didn't care as much. I was so sick of it.

Gregor

I think it is important to consider what you were DF'd for. Forgiving or not forgiving may be irrelevant.

When you put on the uniform and get on the field to play the game, you agree to the rules. If the umpire calls you out on a close call you may strongly feel you were treated unfairly but you still respect that the ump. believed he saw it correctly.

If you get caught using a corked bat or pitching with a gob of vaseline in your glove, you can hardly hold it against the ump. when you get tossed out.

This metaphor can be expanded but the point is if someone is DF'd for chronic fornication it says a lot about the DF'd persons character if he holds a grudge against the JC members

BrentR

Not everyone chooses to become a JW, I was born into it and had to face constant badgering from the elders over some very petty situations. There are not alot of teenagers that can just leave home and make it on thier own. As an adult you can enter into a contract and be expected to deal with violating it but it is entirely different when your born into a contract with no way out.

My parents made it very clear to me that if I left the Borg I would be kicked out of the house .

Gregor

Good point Brent.

Backed away

In a word, yes. when I was DF'ed, it wasn't a witch hunt but rather those of authority doing what they truly felt was right. I wasn't playing by the rules so I expected the outcome. now, I still don't agree with this practice of disfellowshipping, but despite the shunning and repair jobs with my family, my being DF'ed was the wake up call to the belief system I was attached to. I was reinstated in six month's and started my fade the following year, that was in 1991.

Everyone's circumstances are different and I respect those who feel differently, for me, harbouring unforgiveness would do more damage to me than letting go and letting them go with it.

ESTEE

Yup! I thank them now, for giving me the push I needed to get on with my life!

ESTEE

Would you forgive an elder that disfellowshipped you?

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