Would you forgive an elder that disfellowshipped you?

by sass_my_frass 51 Replies latest members private

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  Terry

  When a human being decides to become the property of other human beings I lose all respect for them unless they are persuaded it serves a mighty fine purpose and do what they do to pay back for the good they've taken from life.

  Jehovah's Witnesses are the property of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society and have to give up their minds also. When they relinquish their rational intellect and replace it with slogans, rebuttal schemes and memorized phrases that refute normal curiousity; you know they are no longer "people".

  I was disfellowshipped by convinced people who could not deal with facts or even pretend they had reasons. It was a kneejerk reaction based on a mindset completely dominated by delusions and imaginings. I had faded long before I was called in to a committee meeting. I didn't even really need to attend, but; out of respect I went anyway. I was blindsided. They didn't tell me it was a judicial committe. I assumed (wrongly) it was a discussion among concerned friends who had my best interests at heart and wanted to be clearly informed why I wasn't going to meetings.

  Instead I was railroaded within ten minutes with one brother excusing himself because he wanted no part of the proceedings!

  Do I forgive those men? No. They hurt me deeply. The wounded me profoundly. They acted in haste. They were placing themselves in judgement of me without evidence of wrongdoing. I hope there is a hell and they wake up in it with a pitchfork in their ass.

  Otherwise, I'm sure the rest of their lives after I left were extraordinarly mundane, passionless and empty of any real accomplishment. Perhaps that is hell enough! Just attending those boring, feckless meetings for the rest of their lives is punishment enough!!!
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  pobthespazz

  2 of the elders who sat on my J/C were low life pond life scum and would be whether a J/w or not and if they had left the borg ,yeah I would forgive them , but would never forget, but I think my life has become richer for leaving the borg, and I hate to think of the thought of still being a dub.
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  free2beme

  If I was, yes. As they would have been doing me a favor.
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  avidbiblereader

  I once read this saying and want to share it

  Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense benefits to the one who forgives.

  abr
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  sass_my_frass

  I consider them as godless and loveless as I was naive for giving them that power, so I call it pretty much even. If they had shown me mercy I'd be at three boring meetings a week and my marriage would be torture for both of us; it would have destroyed us. I'd have never found this happiness. So I yeah I suppose I could skip the childish 'call me later' pause. I don't forgive them now, but I will if they ask me to.
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  nelly136

  mine never asked for forgiveness nor will they ever, i don't need their apology/validation,but if it helped them feel better.... cool, whatever, i don't bear a grudge cos i just dont care enough to be bothered, indifference springs to mind.

  theyre just ordinary men following a man made publishing company whose given them an illusional importance over people they wouldnt otherwise have. constantly perpetuated by the dead- behind-the-eyes who suck up their every word and deed allowing it to tear up their famillies.
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  cyberdyne systems 101

  To me its not the individual's involved but the system they are (as was I at one time) under. So if a former elder came to me appologising for the actions they undertook whilst still under the WTS spell, then I'd forgive them, just as I want people i'd shunned myself to forgive me and realise it was the system not the person who's guilty. I certainly feel those in the responsible possitions should be much more aware than the general R & F of the untruths, but then again the further your immersed in it the harder it is to see reality.

  CS 101
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  Jourles

  In my case, it was basically [an] anonymous brother(s) at the Service Desk pulling my local elders' strings. Even after "busting" me for my website and participation here on JWD, the elders left me alone for over a year. I don't think it was a coincidence that I goofed one day and accidentally used an IP address under my old nick that matched my current nick. A week or so later, the elders called about my JC meeting.

  I honestly feel that they would have let me continue to fade(unless a recent mandate said otherwise). I never had a problem with anyone in the hall, including the elders.
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  Atpeaceatlast

  I have forgiven them with the exception of one (the one who shook down my mom for my whereabouts). I am at peace with them all in different ways. Somehow, I'm glad it all happened. The path I took as a result was one I had no plans to take, but it made me a better person.

  There were four in my JC:

  Bro. B: The most self-righteous, pious borgbot I ever met, but I truly forgive you since what goes around comes around. I am truly sorry that your now-grown youngest DF'd son is in jail now for stealing drugs. He was such a cute kid, and looking back hurts me of what became of him.

  Bro. N: Tall and oh-so handsome; no forgiveness is needed, but you were genuinely a good person who did your best to bail me out of a nasty situation.

  Bro. Y: Of course, you were the grandfather I never had (and who never molested me!) All kidding aside, you were truly good to me and hope that you are doing well.

  Bro. J: Next time my mom flies into town, she's going to kick your a--!

  There, I feel sooo much better now.
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  becca1

  I would. Forgiveness is very healing. Harboring resentment is not.