Mom Died -- and I found out from an old friend!

by BrendaCloutier 121 Replies latest jw experiences

  • GoingGoingGone
    GoingGoingGone

    ((((((((((Brenda))))))))))

    I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm so sorry for the way your family treated you. There is nothing that can excuse that.

    How dare your sister blame you!!!!

    Hugs,

    GGG

  • Sunspot
    Sunspot

    As I am reading this thread....I am having a great deal of difficulty in maintaining my composure out of respect to Brenda and her plight at the moment. I am having bad feelings of a deja vu type, bringing me right back to when this happened to me, especially reading THIS:

    Brenda, I am sorry you are angry with us. All of the times that you
    emailed me you never once asked me how mom was doing, so I didn't
    think you were that concerned. I wish you had kept in touch with
    her better, then you would have no doubt been aware of her health
    problems. Don't be upset with us, it is really your own doing.
    Darlene
    Quote:

    For many YEARS---unknown to my family---I had been writing regularly to my Grandmother in a nursing home in MA. I sent her little gifts and kept her up on the pleasant little tidbits on our birdwatching and my gardens, anecdotes on our animals...etc....always making my cards and letters chirpy and cheerful.

    Whenever we would travel to MA, hubby and I went to the nursing home and took her for outings depending on the weather, or played board games (she LOVED Scrabble) with her, and the like. I never "shared this" with the rest of the family....they weren't speaking to ME, remember?

    I wrote to her one summer day and received the card back with the stamp "Deceased" across the top of it. I thought it was a mistake. It wasn't. I was told LATER ON that my DIL (who lives five minutes from here) was SUPPOSED TO HAVE TOLD ME about her death when she got the news.....and SHE DECIDED that I would not be concerned about this---- because I didn't have anything to DO with my family any more.....

    Pretty close to Brenda's situation....so I can readily understand how extra devastating this all is...due to the cocky and arrogant presumptuosness of individuals who claim to be "Christian". It's bad enough to have to learn of the death of someone close to you....but to have all these added attractions tossed in and added to the fire.....is just too much to take sometimes.

    Whatever happened to putting their differences aside for the moment ....and simply acting HUMAN?

    Brenda....whatever you need to DO to make yourself feel better.....GO for it! These people NEED to be shown how cruel they are.

    love and hugs to you.....

    Annie

  • abuttercup
    abuttercup

    Brenda,

    so very sorry to hear of you loss, having just lost my own father I can relate to the devastion this has on you. Everyone hear has been so nice to me and I hope you will find some comfort here as well

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    ((((Brenda))))

    Please take some special time for yourself to come to terms with her passing. That is something you do for you.

    Whether you get to participate in some form in the funeral really doesn't matter.

    Two days ago it was the anniversary of my sister's death. My mother didn't bother with a funeral. But my daughters and I got together and did our own little service. That was more healing for me than listening to a WT infomercial when I really needed to just grieve and say my goodbyes. On her birthday I bought a rose and went to the river and just sat with my thoughts of her

    As much as possible focus on the important things.

  • HappyDad
    HappyDad

    Brenda,

    My heartfelt love and hugs to you at this time. I don't know what to say anymore at the injustices imposed by the JW mindset. They really have a lot to answer for.

    HappyDad

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    My love and condolences go out to you at this time for your losses. They have been a long time coming, but having those relationships so finalized so harshly and abruptly is brutal. That your sister blamed you is beyond cruel. She knows as well as anyone how much they pushed you away.

    You are free, and she is still a captive. While missing your mom, I hope you can take comfort in your freedom from the ugliness of that religion. She never escaped and it seems like the rest of them are prisoners also.

    Take care of yourself, and mourn in the way you need to.

    Love,

    Shelly

  • hubert
    hubert

    So sorry to hear you lost your mom, Brenda, and angry to hear how your family couldn't be bothered with telling you. (((((Brenda)))))

    And when this dies down, I will have a scathing letter I will send to all family members denoucing them and their religion.

    A copy to the "letter to the editor" of your local newspaper might be a good idea, also.

    Hubert

  • parakeet
    parakeet

    What a terrible tragedy, Brenda, to have lost your mom, not just once, but twice. And then to be informed of it the way you were and blamed for it as well!

    My deepest condolences.

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    ((((((Brenda)))))))

    I am so very sorry.

    r.

  • carla
    carla

    My deepest sympathies. This cult never ceases to sicken me, I'm so sorry.

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