The Great Taboo Discussion---Suicides among former Jehovah's Witnesses

by The wanderer 84 Replies latest jw friends

  • Forscher
    Forscher

    The only time Suicide ever entered my mind was during a kidney stone attack when I saw a piece of broken glass and the thought of slitting my wrist became might inviting. that made me realise it was time to head for the emergency room!

    The fact that I was never completely welcome in my home congregation and was basically a social leper for most of the 20-odd years I was there was probably a blessing in disguise. That was the way our congregation was, if one wasn't in the one of the "in" circles they were basically treated as nobodies. So most of us in that position were forced to develope circles of friends which included many who were outside the organization. So none of us ever went down the road of suicide. We either put up with it and enjoyed our nonDub friends, or we simply stopped attending when we got tired of it. That circle of "outsider" friends helped us avoid the "anomie" which leads some folks to end there own lives. So maybe I should contact some of those old elders and thank them for being such bastards!

    Actually, the whole town was somewhat like that. One had to be tough to live there. Whenever I have to go through there on some sort of business, I always think of Steven King's novel It the resemblance between the town he describes and that town were just so uncanny and I always expect to see the "clown" waving at me from one of the culverts everytime I drive through. The congregation was so infected with the attitude of that town that by brother used to say that in that town the Witnesses were "just another dirty little (name of town) church." On further reflection, that might be insulting the town!

    Forscher

  • Nowman
    Nowman

    When my mom and I reunited in 2000, I did not know she was severely depressed and was an alchoholic. Yet, I discovered that she had issues shortly after spending time with her, after seeing her poor a huge glass of wine, a 15 oz glass by the way, at 8:30am in the morning. Yet, I was still not really sure what was going on with her. So, our 1st visit after 8 years of not seeing each other was really strange for me but oh well, I had my mom again on my life.

    So, early 2001 comes along and I get a call from Arizona from my mom's boyfriend, that she was passed out with a low pulse one morning and she was taken to the ER in Scottsdale, she had attempted suicide and I later found out this was not the 1st time either. I did not know what to do. I was not qualified. She had swallowed many pills along with a bunch of alchohol.

    I remember my gramma being mad at me (not a JW) for not getting on a plane and going to her. I told my grandmother how dare she make this judgement against me, I barely know the woman, and how am I suppose to help? Really, what could I have done? I had 2 little kids at home, I was going to leave them for my suicidal mother? How come my gramma did not get on a plane and go to her daughter. My point is, how come it was assumed it was all my responsibility to take of my mom? She did later apologize to me about and I realized later that my gramma was just scared....

    My mom eventually returned home. She was so comsumed with self worthlessness for the failures of her life. Me leaving at 18, my elder dad emotionally abusing her, and basically telling my beautiful mother that he did not love her anymore....and most of all, the watchtower and bible tract society and not being able to fulfill the obligations that are required...

    Yet, it is a happy ending. She has been sober for 3-1/2 years and is living her life to the best of her ability. I cannot stand the JW cult.

    Nikki

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Yet, it is a happy ending. She has been sober for 3-1/2 years and is living her life to the best of her ability. I cannot stand the JW cult.

    Nikki

    BOY!!THATS IS GOOD NEWS!!! Thanks for sharing good news on a sad ,LINk
  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    What does the WTB&TS teach about suicides and the resurrection hope? (Historical overview)

    “there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous.” (Acts 24:15)

    === 1965 ===
    "26 Judas Iscariot made a bargain with those who Jesus said made proselytes that were subjects of Gehenna twice as much so as themselves, and who were themselves liable to the “judgment of Gehenna.” (Matt. 23:15, 33) Judas rejected the sacrificial “Lamb of God.” Thus he has no sacrifice to be offered for his willful sin. Logically he became a “son of destruction.” When he committed suicide, he went to Gehenna. He will have no resurrection, even in the flesh on earth.—John 6:70, 71; 17:12. - W 3/1/65, page 142, "WHO WILL BE RESURRECTED FROM THE DEAD?"

    === 1970 ===
    "Judas Iscariot, one of the apostles of Jesus, furnishes another example. He must have had a good heart to begin with or Jesus would not have chosen him. But then he let selfishness take over. He hardened his heart by a practice of sin, stealing from the treasury of Jesus’ group, the money box being in his charge. Thus it appears that when Jesus approved of the costly ointment being used to anoint him, to which Judas had strenuously objected, Judas went out and betrayed his Master for thirty pieces of silver. Further indicative of his hardness of heart was his brazenly asking, “It is not I, is it?” when Jesus said that one of the twelve would betray him. How that sin harmed him! It made him a suicide with no hope of a resurrection.—Matt. 26:6-25; John 12:3-8; 17:12. - W 9/15/70, page 572 "BEWARE OF THE HARDENING EFFECTS OF SIN"

    === 1990 ===
    The Bible’s Viewpoint

    Suicides—A Resurrection?

    THE tragic news of a suicide does not close a chapter in the lives of relatives and friends; it opens one—a chapter of mixed feelings of pity and anger, sorrow and guilt. And it raises the question: May we entertain any hope for our friend who took his or her life?

    Although self-inflicted death is never justified, never righteous, the apostle Paul did hold out a beautiful hope for even some unrighteous ones. As he told a Roman court of law: “I have hope toward God . . . that there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous.”—Acts 24:15.

    Nevertheless, many theologians have long dismissed any suggestion that the resurrection of the unrighteous might offer hope for those who commit suicide. Why?

    Theologians Contradict Resurrection Hope

    William Tyndale identified part of the problem in the foreword of his 16th-century Bible: “In putting departed souls in heaven, hell, or purgatory you destroy the arguments wherewith Christ and Paul prove the resurrection.” Yes, centuries ago, churchmen introduced a non-Biblical concept: immortal souls that leave the body at death and go straight to heaven, purgatory, Limbo, or hell. That concept clashed with the Bible’s clear teaching of a future resurrection. As Baptist minister Charles Andrews asked: “If the soul is already blissfully in heaven (or is already justifiably roasting in hell), what need is there for anything further?” He added: “This inner contradiction has remained to plague Christians throughout the centuries.”

    One result of such errant theology was that “since Augustine’s time [354-430 C.E.], the church has condemned suicide as a sin,” says Arthur Droge in the Bible Review, December 1989, “a sin beyond redemption, just like apostasy and adultery.”

    The harsh verdict of being “beyond redemption,” or hopelessly consigned to hellfire, carried the judgment-at-death argument to its shaky extreme. Admits the National Catholic Reporter: “Two of the church’s greatest doctors railed against suicide—Augustine branding it ‘detestable and damnable wickedness’ and Aquinas indicating it was a mortal [unforgivable] sin against God and the community—but not all churchmen have agreed.”

    Happily, we can avoid such “inner contradiction” by accepting two compatible Bible truths. First, “the soul that is sinning—it itself will die.” (Ezekiel 18:4) Second, the real hope for dead souls (people) is to live again through “a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous.” (Acts 24:15) What, then, may we reasonably expect for people who commit suicide?

    An Unrighteous One to Be Resurrected

    Jesus told a criminal sentenced to death: “You will be with me in Paradise.” The man was unrighteous—a lawbreaker rather than a distraught suicide victim—guilty by his own frank admission. (Luke 23:39-43) He had no hope of going to heaven to rule with Jesus. So the Paradise in which this thief could hope to come back to life would be the beautiful earth under the rule of Jehovah God’s Kingdom.—Matthew 6:9, 10; Revelation 21:1-4.

    For what purpose will God awaken this criminal? So that He mercilessly can hold his past sins against him? Hardly, for Romans 6:7, 23 says: “He who has died has been acquitted from his sin,” and “the wages sin pays is death.” Although his past sins will not be accounted to him, he will still need the ransom to lift him to perfection.

    Therefore, theologian Albert Barnes was wrong and misleading when he asserted: “Those who have done evil shall be raised up to be condemned, or damned. This shall be the object in raising them up; this the sole design.” How beneath a God of justice and love! Rather, a resurrection to life on a paradise earth will furnish this former criminal (and other unrighteous ones) a golden opportunity to be judged by what they do after their resurrection.—1 John 4:8-10.

    A Merciful Opportunity

    Stunned friends of a suicide victim may thus take comfort in knowing that “Jehovah has shown mercy to those fearing him. For he himself well knows the formation of us, remembering that we are dust.” (Psalm 103:10-14) Only God can fully understand the role of mental sickness, extreme stress, even genetic defects, in a “suicidal crisis,” which, the National Observer noted, “is not a lifetime characteristic [but] often a matter only of minutes or of hours.”—See Ecclesiastes 7:7.

    Granted, one who takes his own life deprives himself of the opportunity to repent of his self-murder. But who can say whether one driven to suicide might have had a change of heart had his fatal attempt failed? Some notorious murderers have, in fact, changed and earned God’s forgiveness during their lifetime.—2 Kings 21:16; 2 Chronicles 33:12, 13.

    Thus, Jehovah, having paid “a ransom in exchange for many,” is within his right to extend mercy, even to some self-murderers, by resurrecting them and giving them the precious opportunity to “repent and turn to God by doing works that befit repentance.”—Matthew 20:28; Acts 26:20.

    The Responsible, Scriptural View of Life

    Life is a gift from God, not something to be abused or to end at one’s own hand. (James 1:17) Hence, the Scriptures encourage us to see ourselves, not as immortal souls, but as valuable creations of the God who loves us, who treasures our being alive, and who looks forward with joy to the time of the resurrection.—Job 14:14, 15.

    Love strengthens our recognition that suicide—though evading one’s own burdens—only heaps more problems on loved ones left behind. As far as the one who rashly took his own life is concerned, we humans cannot judge as to whether he will get a resurrection or not. How reprehensible was he? God alone searches ‘all hearts and every inclination of the thoughts.’ (1 Chronicles 28:9) But we may be confident that ‘the Judge of all the earth is going to do what is loving, just, and right!’—Genesis 18:25.

    - AWAKE! 9/8/90, page 22- 23.

    === 1991 ===
    "SUICIDE: My mother, a faithful servant of God, took her life after a month of deep depression. Her death left an indescribable burden and heartache for all of us who loved her. The thought that I might never see her again made the pain of her loss harder to bear. Your article (“The Bible’s Viewpoint: Suicides—A Resurrection?” September 8, 1990) made me feel more “normal” and happy inside, knowing that I can entertain the hope of her resurrection.

    T. M., United States

    The article was merciful. But might not distressed ones view such mercy as justification for taking the “easy way out”?

    N. G., United States

    Feelings of unrelenting despair might make death appear attractive to a severely depressed one. (Compare Job 10:1.) But since suicide is self-murder, it is a violation of God’s law and an unacceptable option for a Christian. If thoughts of suicide afflict a person, he should not presume upon God’s mercy but should seek help to resist self-destructive urges. (James 1:14, 15) He might think of the painful void his death will leave in the lives of loved ones. He should remember that Jehovah “is near to those that are broken at heart” and throw his burdens upon Him. (Psalm 34:18; 55:22) He should also let fellow Christians know of his despair and accept their support. Nevertheless, if a person succumbs to suicidal feelings, bereaved ones can take comfort in knowing that their loved one’s future is in the hands of a loving God.—ED." - AWAKE! 1/8/91, page 30 "FROM OUR READERS"

  • crazyblondeb
    crazyblondeb
    I think about it everyday

    2112-

    Is there anything we can do to help you?? Please get professional help!! We don't want anything to happen to you!! PM me, or anyone else, if you need to!! I have been where you are, and not too long ago!!

    shelley

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    I have been where you are, Me Too>>>>a long time ago in 1987 when the kicked me out 2112

  • Good Girl or Bad Girl?
    Good Girl or Bad Girl?
    One thing that people not familiar with JW beliefs may not understand is how the belief system gives tacit permission for suicide. Witnesses teach that people who die before Armageddon are virtually assured of a resurrection; If they don't get a resurrection, what's the worst that can happen to them? If Jehovah doesn't "approve" of their suicide, they get eternal non-existence, perpetual unconsciousness. Not such a bad deal to a person in pain. Death becomes a doorway out of pain and a possible passage into Paradise, where all our problems will be solved.

    I completely agree with this statement. If I believed (which now I do) that I don't have any idea what's waiting me after death, I begin to think more logically about it... do I really want to take that chance? Is it so bad? Can't I just work on what I've got right now?

    But if I believe that I am just going to sleep forever, unless Jehovah deems me worthy of resurrection, in which case it will be the paradise and I'll be perfect and life won't hurt so much (Revelation 21:3,4), then WHY would I stick around in this hellhole? (Turns out the hellhole I speak of is none other than the Jehovah's Witness religion and once that is eliminated, happiness ensues...)

    Good Girl or Bad Girl

  • Anitar
    Anitar

    Please, anyone thinking of suicide, don't do it. Not because I tell you, but because Jesus loves you. I know that seems pretty hollow coming from a complete stranger. Just consider this, the watchtower, and the elders for that matter only see you as an animal. Are those words too harsh?

    Think about it. You're sitting there now, reading this message because you feel there is something wrong in your life. You're depressed. You're scared. You're mind is thinking things too terrible to contemplate. And you might be seeing for the first time that maybe your beloved watchtower, despite all you have sacrificed for it in the name of God and all the love you give to it, that it does not love you back.

    Think about every magazine you ever read. Even though you never questioned the society, did you ever notice their pattern of speech? Whenever they're defending themselves or cooking up a new doctrine, they always use bible scriptures to compare themsevles to honest and noble Christians from biblical times. But when they're giving out "instructions" to the congregation such as what to wear, how to disipline your children, how to submit to your husband, how to obey the elders, how to prey, and how to have sex, they always compare you to either an animal or an inanimate object (see the back cover of the May 15, 2006 watchtower). You may not have considered this before, but just think back to the "spiritual council" you get, does it really make you feel better, or worse?

    The sad truth is, while you may have friends in the congregation with varying levels of honesty, the watchtower cares absolutely nothing for you. You are nothing more than the sum of your door-to-door ministry. Don't believe me? Well, when have they ever told you that you're good enough the way you are? At what point can you stop field service, and let them take care of you? After a lifetime of faithful and loyal service to the WTS, you think they're going to pay for your retirement? Or your hospital bills? After all, you gave up your career and your education for this, don't you think you deserve some compensation?

    You as an individual are expendable. Don't think for one second that they will feel true sadness or remorse over your death. And don't think your death will take away the pain. It will only add to your family's grief. They want you to kill yourself, because it will prove them right. During the past week, my mom has been obsessed with the murder of the Omish school girls in Pennsylvania. I was disgusted to see her watching it. Because she is conditioned to believe everyone outside the WTS are scum and worldy and an inch away from killing eachother, she was happy because this confirmed that she is right. Imagine being happy to see innocent school girls shot to death.

    Still don't believe me? Well consider one last thing: Do they need you more than you need them?

    Anitar

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Anita I was disgusted to see her watching it. Because she is conditioned to believe everyone outside the WTS are scum and worldy and an inch away from killing eachother, she was happy because this confirmed that she is right. Imagine being happy to see innocent school girls shot to death

    Yes I can remember times when I too used to think This HAS to happen...& would gladly relay that to my studies .I remember the day Kennedy was shot I was talking to my study on the phone she was a Catholic..She was devasted...... I told her in no uncertain tones. "Yes Margret This is just the beginning ALL Catholics will not servive when Jehovah meters out judgement"

  • Woofer
    Woofer

    This thread makes me so sad. My brother killed himself when I was 12. He was living in Wyoming and jumped from an observation tower that was located in a national park. His fiance had broken up with him and he was very depressed. My sister also attemped suicide and was in and out of mental institutions (my brother-in-law molested her and me). Sometimes I'm amazed that I turned out half decent (although my JW family would disagree with that).

    What my brother did devistated my parents. My dad refused to believe he was dead for a long time. He refused to attend his funeral because (in his words) he wanted to stay home "in case (my brother) decided to call".

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