Woofer ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))SO sorry
The Great Taboo Discussion---Suicides among former Jehovah's Witnesses
by The wanderer 84 Replies latest jw friends
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Satanus
don't do it. Not because I tell you, but because Jesus loves you.
Gosh.
S
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tijkmo
The article was merciful. But might not distressed ones view such mercy as justification for taking the “easy way out”?
the mind boggles at the thinking of some people....bit like the idea that 'suicide is selfish'....like someone in their right mind would consciously make the decision to kill themselves simply because it will have a knock-on effect on those they leave behind..
yes the org has changed its stance on suicide....it had to once gb members started to attempt it
i personally know of several people who committed suicide...one was a bethelite, another was annointed (jumped out of a high rise...didnt die instantly), another was a girl who had failing eyesight and who i have recently found out had broke up with her boyfriend, another was a friend i hadnt seen for a while who's girlfriend had left him, and also the wife of an elder in a nearby hall.
i don't know the extent of any help they might have received or whether their suicide was directly the result of being a jw...there are after all plenty of non jws who commit suicide due to a failed romance or who are failed by a system or a family or friends that doesnt discern they need medical or emotional help.
the problem lies in jws thinking that they are in no way to blame for the suicidal tendencies of either present jws or ex or df ones.
i have not attempted suicide...but i have had suicidal tendencies plenty of times...i genuinely believe that had i had access to a gun i would have killed myself....and the reason for this was absolutely beyond any shadow of a doubt...the treatment i received at the hands of a jc..
simply put..i had an affair...(its not quite as simple as that..affairs rarely are..but in the interests of contrition lets say i was totally to blame).. but i was sorry ashamed contrite repentant in a godly way and prepared to do everything i could to right the wrong and fix my marraige which is what my wife wanted.
i was df...which i took as deserved punishment...but my body went into meltdown about a week later...i didnt know what was happening to me so i went to the docs...who that very day had me admitted to a secure medical unit and put on suicide watch.. i was visited by all my family (my df-ing had not been announced yet), some friends, and by at least 3 elders..although none of the jc - who were my friends - because they believed that i was faking it to escape punishment...idiots
over the next 1 1/2 years i struggled by myself to cope with suicidal tendencies that came and went continually...i was now df so family members could not help and my parents were bothered because of my being df so they would help for a bit and then decide they werent allowed to.. i didnt take medication because i was informed that the immediate effect of medication was to possibly make someone feel more depressed and suicidal so since i was alone and no-one was watching me i figured i couldnt risk that.
i applied for reinstatement but got knocked back several times...on one such occasion i told the jc that i was suicidal and that i needed help and had nowhere to go to get it...and i was told...'well other people seem to manage'
of course the argument could be put forward that i didnt kill myself so anything they did could not have been that destructive but that would just be justification of their actions by them...i wrote them saying much the same as cruzenheart did ...shame on you...and like her i used to think that jehovah would hold them responsible for their attitude and actions...but truth is now i simply dont care
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LongHairGal
Wow, these stories are heart wrenching and probably just the tip of the iceberg.
I heard of a few suicides over the years. As far as mental illness goes, the JWs are inadequate to deal with it or address it. Now, I think the advice is not to get involved and to encourage the individual to see a doctor and take their meds. Simple depression is so run of the mill that every other person I meet (in and out of the JWs) is depressed. Unfortunately, I DO feel the religion contributes to the state of being depressed.
With regard to more serious conditions, I observed that once a person is known to be mentally ill in the congregation, people will tend to shy away from that person. But I wonder if this reaction is typical of all people in general. It seems people are afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing around a person with known mental illness for fear of sending him or her over the edge.
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crazyblondeb
During the past week, my mom has been obsessed with the murder of the Omish school girls in Pennsylvania. I was disgusted to see her watching it. Because she is conditioned to believe everyone outside the WTS are scum and worldy and an inch away from killing eachother, she was happy because this confirmed that she is right.
My mom has been doing the same. It's made her even more righteous than ever. Gag me!!
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BabaYaga
From jgnat: "EVERY JW is disconnected from reality. Good is bad. Black is white. Worldlings are no good. Charity is a waste. Comfort can only be found in the magazines. What kind of sad life is that?"
Touche', and another perfectly phrased post, jgnat. You left one small one out, though... don't forget that NOTHING YOU DO IS EVER ENOUGH.
Good point, too, Jerohobobonadad, about the "lack of resurection hope". This puts a double whammy on the surviving loved ones... not only are they heaping ashes on their heads about not knowing/not doing enough to help, but due to the circumstances of death, they have lost the hope they will ever see them again.
I don't think it would be an exaggeration to say that suicides in a religion such as the JWs which do not hold out the same after-life promises for them as for others are actually EVEN HARDER TO DEAL WITH than other suicides. Amazing isn't it, that the WTBTS can take something so horrible to overcome and make it even worse?
HUGS TO YOU 2112!
You're right ICBehindtheCurtain, LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE!!!!!
Hugs, Woofer, so sad about your Dad's denial... unbelievable. Amazing what we do to survive pain we cannot face.
Hugs to tijkmo... glad you are here.
HUGS AND PATS ON THE BACK TO US ALL. WE ARE HERE, WE SURVIVED, AND WE HAD THE STRENGTH, THE INTELLIGENCE, AND THE POWER TO GET OUT AND GET ON WITH OUR LIVES. -
Dismembered
A friend who I've not seen much over the past few years just did it. He did have an alcohol problem, as well as other problems (marital & dubdom) I'll never get to hear about. He and his wife were going to meetings. Da brudders even allowed the funeral at the KH which I thought was interesting.
Dismembered
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restrangled
Woofer,
Your father's reaction brought tears to my eyes, watching parent's grieve is devistating. I too lost a brother, but not to suicide. ((((((hugs to you and your family)))))!
The reaction to my brother's death from a lot of the JW's was just out right mean, self centered, judgemental arrogance that to this day still floors me. Loving, happy people,.... my hind end.
My parents were not allowed to have the service at the hall, my mom being in the truth for 50 plus years at the time and my father for over 35 years serving as and elder for many of them. (This was over 25 years ago) .... My brother had gone most of his life, but decided at age 17 that he needed to find things out for him self. At age 19 he died in a tragic accident.
There were over 400 people at his funeral, most being from the outside. A lot of Witnesses did show up but the comments were absolutely cruel, outrageous, and considered slaps in the face. It was unbelievable.
One day a bunch of sisters came to the house to console my mom. She was upstairs resting. They all congregated in our living room and after about 15 minutes, bright cheerful talking and laughter broke out. It went on for over an hour and I had to ask them to leave at my mom's request. In a house of mourning you do not start chatting and laughing!
I think JW's don't have a grip on what death is all about. They think either they'll see them again, or too bad so sad, they won't be resurrected. Either way it's all settled so whats the fuss about? In the new order you won't remember this person anyway and you'll have a new life. (I have forgotten the scripture, but I'm sure most of you know it)
Anyway 10 years later my mother developed breast cancer, and the Dr. asked her outright, "What happened 10 years ago?" I thought that was really something. After she was operated on, they could not get her to come out of the anesthesia, she kept saying "I want to join my son." (How sad).... with all the hope, promises of future happiness, and guarantees of forgetting loved ones in the new order, ....deep in the recesses of her mind it was not working.
Sorry to rant, and hugs to all here who have lost good friends and family.
r.
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BabaYaga
Restrangled: "After she was operated on, they could not get her to come out of the anesthesia, she kept saying "I want to join my son." "
Oh, my gods, Restrangled. I am so sorry. I have to quit reading this thread, it is tearing me to pieces. Hugs to all. -
restrangled
Baba Yaga,
I did not mean to leave it that she did not come out, She finally did and pioneered like a banshee. Sorry to all if I left the impression she had died. My father spent months tending to her after the operation and always supported her in any of her JW endevours.
Just to add to this, my father came down with bone cancer about 5 years later and died at home with my mom and I taking care of him. There was no funeral, or wake. .......he was long gone from the JW's and since they had moved he had not made friends here in Florida.
Ofcourse the witnesses would not have allowed a funeral at the hall, so my father was just quietly cremated and his ashes buried next to my brother in Chicago.
He tried his whole life to make my mother happy, even after he left the JW's supporting her in every aspect including superior financial support, brand new 4 door cars for service, a beautiful home all paid for, the finest clothing, furniture, landscaping etc..........and enough money that shes sending 10's of thousand to the society.
I can't go on.....and I mean no disrespect to anyone on this board who have lost loved ones to suicide.
r.