Need marital advice

by lost_light06 70 Replies latest jw friends

  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    She gave him her cell # and said she wanted to “get together” and “connect”.

    To me it sounds like you already lost your wife on at least one level. Theres lots of fish in the sea. People dont like change but sometimes its forced on us. Good luck.

  • target
    target


    Our marriage was in that situation. We had been married 16 years. We went for marriage counseling. We just had our 40th anniversary. Do not be in a big hurry to run to a lawyer. When you have counseling, you have someone who is neutral and you face issues you resisted before. Now, when I look at our three young grandchildren, I am so glad we stayed together, that we are still a family.

    Be kind and loving and insist on counseling. Also, at the time, I was not sure that I wanted to stay with my husband. He was not only neglectful, but emotionally abusive. My self esteem was in the toilet. But when he saw that the marriage could end, he worked very hard at fixing it. The counselors told me I did not need to keep coming, but they kept him for quite awhile. Don't throw it away without giving repair a good try. What do you have to lose? It is easy for others to tell you to toss her out, they do not have to live with the results. You and the children do. So I say talk to her. You do not need more evidence. You know there is a problem and it needs fixing. You do not need details.

    Target

  • anewme
    anewme

    Kid-A, with all due to you too, what you are saying is the exact same stuff my husband said. He reminded me of my vows said 20 years earlier. He quoted scripture after scripture ad nauseum. He copied off reams of Biblical examples of faithfulness and infidelity. He increased our service to the borg.

    This may have seemed logical to him and should have appealed to my mind, but it did not appeal to my heart.

    Lets hear from some other ladies! Lets hear their take on this situation. I say sometimes a man needs to take drastic action to show his wife he loves her and does not want to lose her.
    Appealing to her "mind" will not cut it in this emergency.


    I loved my husband so much! More and more the borg took his mind and heart. Our whole marriage got sucked up into it and sacrificed to it. I longed to be free and him free! I wanted to feel more important to him than the elders or the society. I guess I got my answer.

    Please forgive me Kid-A I was very faithful for 20 years. But I was truly neglected and longed for attention and to feel special to him.
    I spoke to Lost to remind him that wives need to feel loved and special and desired.
    If a man cannot do this for his wife he might lose her.

  • gumby
    gumby
    To me it sounds like you already lost your wife on at least one level. Theres lots of fish in the sea. People dont like change but sometimes its forced on us. Good luck.

    Jaguarbass,

    He said he loves his wife...so why a need to find another fish in the sea? He can try and repair something that broke.... and if it cannot be fixed, then he can go fishin if he wants to.

    Gumghandi

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free
    Fight for your woman! Get rid of the other guy and make your woman know you desire her!

    A guy shouldn't have to keep on fighting to "keep his woman", especially after a committment has been made. Sorry, but I once saw a man killed in a bar because a woman thought her husband should have to keep fighting for her, even after the wedding day. I've been involved with many women in my life, and have yet to meet one who's worth the effort.

    Also, sometimes men like to feel "desired" too, and not only for our paycheques or ability to lift heavy items.

    I tend to agree with WC. I also suggest keeping a close watch on money and other assets. If the marriage ends up in a separation or divorce the assets need to be divided fairly, and that won't happen if someone starts hiding things.

    Get a lawyer.

    W

  • Check_Your_Premises
    Check_Your_Premises
    Lets hear from some other ladies! Lets hear their take on this situation. I say sometimes a man needs to take drastic action to show his wife he loves her and does not want to lose her.

    I guess it depends on the situation then Anewme. If his wife is suffering from neglect, and that is why she is looking elsewhere, then your approach is probably the correct one.

    If his wife is certain of his undying love, then it is likely she is looking around because she doesn't respect him. Given that she is in her 20's and hasn't dated alot, she is probably naive enough to be impressed and turned on by some "bad-boy".

  • earthtone
    earthtone

    I love how the ad's at the bottom always apply to the topic! Cute

  • Dansk
    Dansk
    I love how the ad's at the bottom always apply to the topic! Cute



    Galician Polish Oil Lamps!!


    Ian

  • earthtone
    earthtone

    Mines say's marital advice?

  • anewme
    anewme

    Im sorry but you guys are hitting on an absolutely raw subject with me.

    The Society trains men to be woosies! Dont fight! Dont make a mess! Dont make trouble!
    Just be zombies. Just take it. Just eat it!
    Remember, "Dont reflect badly on Joe Hover's name!"

    A real man, (even a rooster) will make the other guy suffer! Go away! VAMOOOSE!

    STAND UP FOR YOUR MARRIAGE! SHOW WHAT A HUSBAND IS!

    Im sorry. I have a different vision of you all-----as freed men, strong and decisive and angry.

    That little sh** at her work knows she is married. He is a huge jerk and he needs his face kicked in!

    I am usually a flower of a girl in spirit, but my spirit has changed and I now will fight to save my new marriage.


    LET THIS BE A WARNING FOR ANY WOMAN WHO TOYS WITH MY NEW HUSBAND! TOWANDA! (the women will know what this means!)


    Anewme

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