I was born into the witnesses. I believed it was the truth however I never felt any sort of “spirituality”. I would spend nights tearfully praying to Jehovah to help me have the right heart condition and be a good witness. I thought there was something wrong with me that I didn’t feel any closeness to God. I hated field service but I tried to be a pioneer one year. I never made my hours so I was removed as a pioneer and once again I felt I had failed God. My struggle to be a good lil’ witness followed me into adulthood. I married young, had children, but never lived up to the potential the elders thought I had. It took me until I was 26 to realize that there wasn’t something wrong with me, there was something wrong with the religion I was in. After visiting this and other sites, and reading Crisis of Conscience I was convinced the Jehovah’s Witness religion was a complete sham. It took me almost a year to get out, but when my wife and I split up I took the opportunity to leave. I haven’t been back. I am back together with my wife now, she is out too. My JW family will not talk to me even though I have never been DF’d or DA’d. I have never felt the happiness or freedom I do now that I no longer answer to the elders, the governing body or their silly little god.