NEED ADVICE ON FAKING A REINSTATEMENT

by Mary 72 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Gregor

  I personally would not do this by any means but then I am not this person and they have the free right to decide what is best for themselves.

  As usual, I am in lockstep with Oldflame. The idea of getting reinstated by 'fooling' the elders is something I couldn't do, no matter what the incentive.

  When I say I couldn't do it, I'm NOT speaking hypothetically. I had been out a couple of years when my beloved Grandpa turned 90 and was not in good health. Grandma was a sweetheart too. He was still sharp as a tack, and he had no problem visiting with me. But my Aunt & Uncle they lived with were like keepers of the flame about letting a DF'd grandson have access to them.

  Sooo, in an emotional moment I made a rash decision to try to do what we're discussing here. I started with a elders meeting. Since I had been DF'd for apostasy they made me jump through hoops for an hour, lying my ass off about my coming to my senses about Jahs org. They never seemed to quite believe me and at the end they told me we could talk again after I had been a regular meeting attender for, oh, lets say, about a year! I thanked them and left. Biggest mistake I ever made in my life. Took me years to get over the fact that I had actually smooched their asses for an hour.
• 

  Mary

  OldFlame said: There is a great deal of integrity lost here by doing this and someday this family who says who cares if you believe or not just get reinstated will hold this over him afterwards to start being a real JW or else!

  OldFlame, this is my fear for my friend. At first I was shocked when he told me that his family knows that he's an 'apostate' and will never, ever believe the religion, yet they are basically telling him not to worry about that now, just come to the Sunday talk. I think in their minds, it justifies them being able to "associate" with him. When you think about it, it's true what Bryan said:

  This thinking alone says that these Witnesses are more concerned about pleasing the Tower than God. God would know your friends stance on the Organization, but that doesn't keep them from wanting him to reinstate even though he does not believe. It's the Watchtower they fear. Jesus said his load is light. The Tower says, do what we say or we'll make sure your family never speaks to you again.

  If they really, truly believed that this is "the Truth", then I would think that they would feel shameful that they're encouraging someone to lie to Jehovah's Organization, in order to sooth their own conscience.
• 

  uwishufish

  If my family decided they could not speak to me any more. I would call it a done day. Physicly move so they would not have to go out of their way not to talk to me. If they needed me (paycheck) or any thing else the call or the comute long distance and by boat or plane. In other words color me gone!

  Uwuf
• 

  cyd0099

  My smart-ass advice on how to fake a reinstatement;
  
  BOW, SCRAPE, REPEAT. (And then buy a heavy bag because there is going to be a lot of frustrations needing to be let out.)
  
  But I honestly hope your friend can pull this off if his family is that important to him.
• 

  sspo

  Truly, it is his decision to make, it is one that he has to live with.

  All the so called wisdom everyone on this board is giving are nothing but opinions.

  If he makes the wrong decision at least it was his not ours.
• 

  bronzefist

  Mary,

  Your friend wants to have a normal relationship with his family if he has to fake a reinstatement so be it. It doesn't mean he has to kiss anyone's a**.

  Why allow a petty organization to dictate family relationships? Your friend can do more good telling his family what he has learned from this site than staying away from a sham organization. Believe me the majority of those attending the meetings are the ones that need help from your friend.
• 

  AK - Jeff

  I hate the whole idea of having to be untrue to yourself in order to enjoy what should be just 'normal' family relationships in any other situation.

  Don't many of us face similar probs when we leave? I have lost a cousin who was my best friend for 35 yrs. I can't see myself going back and playing the game if I was Df'd. But I also don't blame those who feel compelled to do so.

  Personally I can't live a lie. I left a Lie, I don't want to guilty of the same. That's just me.

  Jeff
• 

  Mary

  Bronzefist said: Why allow a petty organization to dictate family relationships?

  Um, you're kidding right? Anyone who's ever been a Witness knows that this pathetic organization can and DOES dictate family relationships, if some are still in the Borg when a family member gets the Axe. This is not an isolated case. I've got another friend in the same situation: she's not allowed to see her grandchildren anymore because she smokes and (gasp!) celebrates Christmas and birthdays. Her self-righteous son has decided that she can come to his place to see the grandkids if she wants, but they're not allowed to come down to Grandma's house anymore. And seeing as two of her three sons are elders, they won't socialize with her or speak to her unless it's really necessary.....like, if they want something for free. My girlfriend reacted differently that the friend I'm speaking about in this thread. She basically told her sons they can take a hike and she will NOT be blackmailed emotionally. Although she loves them and the grandkids to death, she will not compromise and let this religion, that she no longer belongs to, dictate how she lives her life.

  Your friend can do more good telling his family what he has learned from this site than staying away from a sham organization. Believe me the majority of those attending the meetings are the ones that need help from your friend.

  You're right, but that's not going to happen. You know as well as I do that the second you try telling any Dub something negative about "the Truth", the blinders go on, the walls go up and they say "..I don't want to talk about that"; or "...that sounds like apostate talk.." or some other such crap. The doctrines are so deeply ingrained into their brains that it's extremely difficult getting them to see the man behind the curtain, even when it's pulled open for all to see.
• 

  sass_my_frass

  I tried to get reinstated for six months (same reason; just faking it to get my family back), but then I got married and the three meetings a week, where I was being treated so mercilessly and hatefully, they just became so much worse than they ever were before. Five hours a week of being told lies and stupidity, just so my loveless family could feel good about talking to me. I finally remembered that they never really did anyway, and gave up. Life is so much better not having to pretend.

  Still, I don't have witness children or grandchildren, so I don't have his reasons to keep trying. He's going to need all the determination he can muster. He needs to prepare for a battle that could take a few years (there's no minimum sentence anymore, and they're getting a lot more strict), and even when it's over he'll have to keep his mouth shut for the rest of his life. As he thinks it's worth it, tell him to prepare for a world of pain, and to muster what he needs to face it.
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  oldflame

  If they really, truly believed that this is "the Truth", then I would think that they would feel shameful that they're encouraging someone to lie to Jehovah's Organization, in order to sooth their own conscience.

  That is exactly what I have been saying about this all along. It is a fear that these people live in and not the true freedom in Christ.

  Why allow a petty organization to dictate family relationships?

  What do you think they are doing here ? These sorry ass bastards dictate everything you do and if you don't we will make your life miserable. Is this the actions of what the bible says about Christ ? Is this the way he acted ? I think Not !