NEED ADVICE ON FAKING A REINSTATEMENT

by Mary 72 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Mary

  A friend of mine who is DF'd is seriously considering trying to get reinstated in order to have his family back in his life. This is not an easy decision because he's fully aware that this isn't "the Truth", but the pain of being excluded from normal family relations is really tearing him. He has two choices: either move away from his family and try and start a new life, or bite the bullet, try and get reinstated and then do The Fade. His family is aware that he does not believe this is God's Organization, but they want him to try and get reinstated anyway, so they can socialize together. Obviously, the prospect of life without your children and grandchildren is terrifying, so it's understandable that he wants them back.

  He would like to hear of anyone on here who has either considered doing the same thing, or knows of someone who has gone back just to have their family back and what obstacles they encountered, what can he expect to go through, etc. Or, even to get everyone's opinion on the best way to approach this. In his words, he never, ever thought he'd have to "sink so low" as to fake a reinstatement, but that's what this pathetic excuse for a religion does to people.

  Any comments, suggestions, experiences or opinions from you guys would be greatly appreciated, so I can pass them on to him.

  Thanks.
• 

  KW13

  the only thing is mary, it has to be the thing you really want - living a lie won't be easy, and being concious of it every day. nothing can measure to your family, but its worth considering - is it possible to keep it up?

  wish your friend all the best!
• 

  vitty

  This is something I would consider doing if I was ever DF. I would never allow the WT to win and if it took me years of faithfully going to every meeting and sitting at the back of the hall...................id do it, for my daughter only. If it was my sisters or mother then no, I wouldnt but for my daughter and grandchildren then yes, I would

  Just writing this makes me sick to the stomach, at how much control the WT has over ppl

  I recomend he write a letter to the PO of his familys congregation and then lie, lie lie.......all the way back, then move territory and do the fade.

  It depends what he was DF for. If its immorality, id say it will take 6 months, if hes convincing..........................if its apostacy it could take years !!!!!!!!!
• 

  Mary

  It depends what he was DF for. If its immorality, id say it will take 6 months, if hes convincing..........................if its apostacy it could take years !!!!!!!!!

  He was DF'd for smoking, so that wouldn't take too long (maybe 6 months), as long as the elders aren't aware of him being an "apostate". If they are, then his chances of getting reinstated are minimal, IMO. I've never heard of any "apostate" getting reinstated, but if anyone here knows of one, that would be an interesting post.
• 

  looking_glass

  I had a friend who did not want to be DF'd, so we all discussed what happened at various peoples JC hearings. The thing that seemed the constant was 1) you had to apologize (really you can make up your own question in your head and apologize for it and mean it) 2) you had to seem sincere (a bit harder then it seems ... but it seemed that if people cried they were believed) 3) you had to say you were wrong (again you can come up with any question in your head where you can admit you were wrong). Try not to say too much, try not to get angry. Just sit and listen, bobbing your head up and down with all the answers, look up the scriptures they read to you (again bobbing the head). In the end, it seemed like this worked for people who we were positive were going to get DF'd.

  A guy I was particularly close to DA'd himself. Later he decided he needed to get back in because all of his family had shunned him. He got reinstated and then he never went back to the hall again. He said that it was going to the hall while DA'd that was hard because he would sit in the back of the hall and people would look at him (people he knew for years) and they would have a pained look on their face and all he wanted to say was "you people are whacked"

  Much luck to your friend.
• 

  vitty

  
  Mary

  There is a poster here, hoppie, I think is her name. She has written a book that ive just ordered. She was DF and shunned by her daughter for being an apostate, she got herself reinstated after 10 years, then set about getting her daughter out. Im hoping I can do the same.

  Not to get reinstated cos im fading, but to get my daughter out............Ive only got a chance of that if im still in................

  I just want to scream Ba......ds.................
• 

  Bryan

  I really can't say much, but I wanted to add this side note, please.

  His family is aware that he does not believe this is God's Organization, but they want him to try and get reinstated anyway, so they can socialize together.

  This thinking alone says that these Witnesses are more concerned about pleasing the Tower than God. God would know your friends stance on the Organization, but that doesn't keep them from wanting him to reinstate even though he does not believe.

  It's the Watchtower they fear. Jesus said his load is light. The Tower says, do what we say or we'll make sure your family never speaks to you again!

  Horrible.

  Bryan
• 

  Finally-Free

  His family is aware that he does not believe this is God's Organization, but they want him to try and get reinstated anyway, so they can socialize together.

  In other words, instead of meeting him half way like normal people would, his family expects him to go against everything he believes in and live a lie, and submit to the degradation that goes along with the reinstatement process. All for the privilege of associating with people who obviously would not do the same for him. Sorry, but in my book people like that are not family. They are shit, and they don't deserve to associate with someone who would even consider jumping through their hoops.

  W
• 

  Wasanelder Once

  Smoking? That's pretty easy to come back from. Of course you will have to quit smoking, they'll smell it a mile away. (That wouldn't hurt you anyway) Your family knows you don't believe it any more? They wont meet you half way? That just makes them wonks who are in captivity to a sick organization, it doesn't make them "shit" or unworthy of your love. In the long run you may free a few with your subtle influence over time.

  Tell the H'elders that you are tired of living in a fog, you know that smoking clouds your head and kept you from praying to Jehovah. Since you stopped, Jehovah is hearing your prayers. Give them examples of how he's helping you accomplish your return. You know, given you strength to resist and making it easier to get to meetings etc. They eat that crap up.

  I wish you success.

  W.Once
• 

  IronClaw

  IMO Mary, your friend needs to see the complete picture here. His family and so called friends know that he doesn't believe. So most likely the elders are aware of this and probably view him as an apostate, in which case it would take him a long time to get reinstated. One must be true to Oneself. The real question would be, How would God view someone living a lie? In the bible there are 7 things it says that God hates, and one of them is a lier. IMO to do this is to lower oneself to the same level as the WTS. They live a lie daily. I myself could not live a lie. But I do hope and wish the best for your friend. Good luck to him.

  The Claw