NEED ADVICE ON FAKING A REINSTATEMENT

by Mary 72 Replies latest jw friends

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  Mary

  Thanks LL.....I read that and found it comforting. My heart is breaking for my friend that he's being forced to go against everything he believes in, just so he can have a normal relationship with his family.

  hopie said: THE BIBLE HAS MANY EXAMPLES OF HOW GOD USED INDIVIDUALS TO CARRY OUT HIS PURPOSE, AT TIMES THESE INDIVIDUALS WOULD DECEIVE OTHERS TO ACCOMPLISH THIS. EXAMPLES ARE FOUND IN THE BIBLE BOOK OF ESTHER, ALSO THE STORY OF JACOB AND ESAU WITH THEIR MOTHER LYING TO THEIR FATHER ISSAC IN ORDER TO EXCHANGE THE BIRTHRIGHT FROM ESAU TO JACOB. THERE IS THE STORY OF ABRAHAM, HIS SARAH ALSO HAD TO DECEIVE OTHERS WHEN THEY WERE IN DANGER IN EGYPT. THIS IS WHAT I GLEAMED FROM THE SCRIPTURES TO ANSWER MY QUESTION ABOUT LYING.

  Thanks hopie, and I agree.....life isn't always black and white.
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  DanTheMan

  If it was me, I'd have to do it in a congregation where I didn't know anybody. No way could I sit silent in the back for 6 months in a congregation full of JW's who I knew well. The shite coming from the platform is bad enough; to combine that with having intimate knowledge of the shite that most of the people in attendance are full of would create a double-whammy that would burn me out as quick as you can say "Let's see what the Apostle Paul has to say about this™."

  I think that just about any adult seeking reinstatement nowadays is going to have to field a bunch of Apostate-sniffer-out questions though. Just a hunch, given the ever-increasing paranoia permeating the borg.
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  Gregor

  They are shit, and they don't deserve to associate with someone who would even consider jumping through their hoops.

  W.

  Well, maybe, but I would give them the benefit of the doubt at this point. There is a solution I haven't heard here yet.

  Rather than write to the elders ones intentions to be reinstated, which puts then on notice to start "taking attendance" on you, why not simply start attending a meeting semi regularly? Why? Because this gives the family the leeway they have in associating with a family member. If they really wanted to they could push the envelope a long way without being spoken to by elders. My mother and father were finally approached after basically ignoring my DF'ing. They basically said that as their son they had good reason to be associating with me and my family and that our association wasn't breaking the "spiritual good time" rule. Hope he's quit smoking for all reasons.

  If the family doesn't want to exploit this big loophole out of intimidation by the elders, then maybe they are 'shit'. Chicken shit.
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  Mary

  Rather than write to the elders ones intentions to be reinstated, which puts then on notice to start "taking attendance" on you, why not simply start attending a meeting semi regularly? Why? Because this gives the family the leeway they have in associating with a family member. If they really wanted to they could push the envelope a long way without being spoken to by elders.

  Soooo, is that one of their 'rules'? That if a DF'd family member is attending some meetings, then the family is allowed to socialize with them?? How very kind of them.
• 

  juni

  If that would work Gregor it's a good idea. We need Blondie here w/her expertise. Perhaps I could PM her to have her take a look at your post Mary.

  What a horrilbe thing for "God's Organization" to cause such heartaches w/their Pharisaical (?) rules.

  Best to your poor friend Mary. I feel for him.

  hugs Mare,

  juni
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  Gregor

  I shouldn't give the impression that this strategy is based on any "rules" per se. I just think if you appear to be trying to get back in and combine that with the fairly vague rules about family association you & your family could probably stay out of their crosshairs indefinately. If I understand the situation the DF'd person and his family are looking at a faux sincere reinstatement. I just think they can have their cake and etc....no reinstatement BS but still have family association. If you have real aggressive elders it may not work.
• 

  JamesThomas

  Mary, I'm very much with oldflame on this one -- but a bit more hardcore.

  Your friend is a fool , who will not have a "normal" relationship with his family when he does this. He is abandoning self-integrity, making his life an untrustworthy sham, and he will eventually hate himself and his family for all the moral degradation.

  Your friend needs to grow up, and learn some of the basic principles of a decent life. He needs to lean what it is not to be a coward, and learn how to stand up to truthfulness. Then he can create a new family of friends who live honestly and love him for the beauty of his genuineness and sincerity. Your friend and his family are major dysfunctional, and his supporting the insanity will only make matters worse.

  If he were my foolish friend, I'd smack him upside the head; big time.

  j
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  Arthur

  I would tell him to go for it. He knows what answers the elders want to hear to their questions. All he has to do is just tell everybody what they want to hear, and to to a meeting now and then.

  Yes, considering the pain he is going through without his family, he should go ahead and do the reinstatement thing.
• 

  oldflame

  If he were my foolish friend, I'd smack him upside the head; big time.

  JT, Thank You !

  This is what I call a slamboozle ! The JW cult family tells him he has to get reinstated before we can talk to you . Well hell they knew that when they were disfellowshipped . Don't they see what is happening here ? The JW religion wins and all the work here was for nothing . There is a great deal of integrity lost here by doing this and someday this family who says who cares if you believe or not just get reinstated will hold this over him afterwards to start being a real JW or else ! No this is bullshit from the get go. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction knowing full well what it is and besides all that the Bible says to put God first in your life not your family, family is supposed to be second. I personally would not do this by any means but then I am not this person and they have the free right to decide what is best for themselves.
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  fullofdoubtnow

  Rather than write to the elders ones intentions to be reinstated, which puts then on notice to start "taking attendance" on you, why not simply start attending a meeting semi regularly? Why? Because this gives the family the leeway they have in associating with a family member. If they really wanted to they could push the envelope a long way without being spoken to by elders.

  Soooo, is that one of their 'rules'? That if a DF'd family member is attending some meetings, then the family is allowed to socialize with them?? How very kind of them.

  I can remember a df'd sister attending our meetings a few years ago, and her daughter and son - in law were "allowed" to talk to her at the meetings, and even sit with her at the back! Extremely kind of the elders, don't you think?