A long overdue statement

by truthsetsonefree 69 Replies latest jw experiences

  • ohiocowboy

    I applaud that you are still on the inside trying to help others by being compassionate and loving, and trying to spare people from disfellowshipping. I do not find it hypocritical at all. You want to see changes in the Org. and you are a strong person to stay in, even knowing that what they are teaching is not right. You are doing it to help others. You are trying to save people from the anguish that many of us have experienced through disfellowshipping and shunning. It sounds like you have already saved some in your cong. from much unneeded trauma, and think, you could have very well already saved someone's life who would have not been able to cope if they had been disfellowshipped.

    I commend and respect you, and wish that there were more Elders like you, who lets their heart guide them.

  • dark hunter
    dark hunter

    T - You sound like you have a good heart. I knew a bethal elder a lot like you. He was a friend of Franz, he knew it wasn't the truth but he stayed because he personally knew of members of the cong who had suffered from sexual abuse and there was no one to help them cope let alone recover. Last I heard, he's at Patterson now but the price he paid for his compassion was high. His wife was so depressed, she took medication just to get through daily life at bethal. So I'm torn between admiring you and feeling sorry for you. I couldn't do it. Everything inside me screamed for a life of honesty. I paid for it, lost 'friends' of many years and lost some family. They are puzzled because my life hasn't fallen apart since I left the org, I'm happier now than I ever was as a witness and they just don't get it. I'm part of a JW outreach ministry in my church, I've met many JW's trying to make the painful transition from the org to a life without lies. I wish you all the best and I hope you don't lose your family. - God Bless, DH

  • jwfacts

    I am fully supportive of you. It will take those inside and out to effective change.
    I spent 10 years inside trying to subtly open peoples thinking ability. Eventually it becomes too much to handle. The more I learnt the more difficult it was listening to ongoing condemnation of anyone not associated with the Org.
    Leaving was a huge relief. Most people I have talked to say being d/f was like having the world lifted off their shoulders. However your life pans out, just knowing the 'truth will set you free' rid of the fear and guilt the WTS puts on you. If it gets too much on the inside, being on the outside is a nice place to be.

  • serendipity

    HI TSOF,

    You don't owe anyone explanations. You just need to do what you think is best for you and your family. If you end up helping others as well, good for you. And nothing is permanent. When (and if) the time comes to leave, you can do so.

    I am curious if you tell other JWs about your community service. Every time I mention it, I get looks of shock and disapproval, even from my family who are liberal to inactive JWs.

  • Kaput
    Further, I feel that good elders are needed who refuse to teach these unloving practices and to advocate for those who are still blinded by this religion. I endeavor in all of my parts, including CA parts, to focus on the Scriptures, mercy, kindness and on love. Any that deal with prophecy, the organization or blood I avoid. I refuse to teach something that is not Scriptural or violates my conscience. It is not a perfect way of resisting this organization, this I realize. But it is a way I am finding effective for the time being.

    This subversive "Lone Ranger" stuff isn't gonna last too long. You'll start trippin' yourself up with off-key "Jehovah talk" and pretty soon your fellow elders will want to "speak with you". Mercy, kindness and love have a way of interfering with the policies of the WBTS, if you haven't noticed already.

  • Fatfreek

    I, along with many others here, applaud you. I now look back some 28 years ago and I somehow wish I'd had the patience that you are having. One of your issues is family and I can sympathize. Two of my boys (plus grandchildren I have never met or hugged or taken fishing or to the mall) have nothing to do with me to this day.
    There is something to be said for overt apostates -- like me and many who post here. I'm certain we do our share of influence to those who lurk. The society dealt with us in the only way their policy blindly knows -- cut us off from potentially influencing their flock. We now have to chip away from the outside and I'm extremely proud every time I see one of the lurkers come out with their exit story.
    There is also something to be said for those, like yourself (and others like you who've posted in this thread)who remain inside for whatever reasons we all may not be able to understand and, with good reason. Our lives are correctly our business in this free country.
    This has to be extremely frustrating for the WT who are limited in how they can deal with you and the others as you collectively chip away from the inside.

  • exjdub


    I admire what you are trying to do, but when you said this:

    I am firmly committed to changing the poilicies of this organization. I feel that people are needed on the inside to help with this.

    A familiar illustration, that I am sure everyone has heard from the platform before, immediately came to mind: "You can't clean up a pig by jumping into the pen with it because then you get dirty too".

    Although the illustration was intended to point out that you can't bring people into the Org by mixing with the world, I think it has application. Again, I admire your motives, but the fact remains that in order to clean the Watchtower Pig, you are going to get awful dirty. The WTBS is not of the mind to explain themselves or to admit their errors...their arrogance prevents it. However I wish you luck on your journey.



  • Frog

    hi there tsof,

    I admire your decisions making process. I also hear what LittleToe has said, but I'm sure at the end of the day he wouldn't take back what he did back then, it would have seemed the right and only thing to do at the time. Anyway, you can't put todays feelings on yesterdays decisions and all that. While I personally coudln't do what you are doing, I understand that in many ways it might give you peace when you exit knowing that you helped more than you hindered in your position of authority and respect. Do it for as long as you can, and no doubt you will know when to listen to yourself when enough is enough. You sound like a very good man at heart, I knew a couple of suchlike elders like yourself, it is a shame their aren't more of you, but the WT organisation doesn't deserve to hold on to good people like yourself for too long. All the best, frog x

  • jgnat

    I know as a board we tend to build habits around advice, like for instance,

    "I am in love with a JW" - RUN!

    "How do I write a DA Letter?" - YOU DON'T OWE THEM A LETTER, JUST GO

    "How do I respond to a JC?" - DON'T GO

    But I think we have to give people room to fight in their own way. It is a form of individualism that we MUST value. TSOF, it takes great courage to explain your stance to a public board and take the hits. I am proud of you.

    DO keep an eye on your personal health, and if it gets too much, bail.

  • truthsetsonefree


    I can't say severe guilt. There is definitely some. But when I consider the fact that I was a victim of this religion, and that when I started to have doubts I investigated and changed my values, it mitigates the guilt. Still, if I can ever help the people unfairly dealt with before my eyes were opened, you can be sure I will.


    A JW outreach ministry? I've never heard of such a thing. Who knows, maybe that will be my next mission.


    When it comes to discussing my community work with others, very little. A handful know I run the PTA at my kid's school. But that is as far as I go. And definitely no discussion of any political involvement. Or when I donate blood.


    That is so sad about your grands. I can only hope I don't go through the same.

    Speaking of frustration for WT, it is one of my missions. To frustrate the heck out of them as they struggle to deal with the 'spirit appointed' elders who keep telling on them. The more of us that come out of the closet, well we give the GB a major headache.


    That is why I limit exposure to it. I don't read the publications. I scan them when needed. Funny thing is, it's the same stuff over and over. After being around this for over 30 years I can write parts in my sleep.


    I'll watch myself. And I have you guys to help. As far as this board goes, everyone is entitled to free expression. We all learn from one another.

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