This may be my last post…so goodbye and thanks

by seven006 175 Replies latest jw friends

  • seven006

    I never thought I would do one of those infamous “goodbye I can’t take this board anymore” posts where the person shows up again a week later and looks like an idiot. When I had enough of this board and needed a little break I would just quietly leave for a few months and hopefully nobody noticed. That is not the case this time.

    My health is going quickly and I can’t deal with spending three to four hours to write out a simple post. I wasn’t so bad when I lost the feeling in my hands, I could still type and still do my work and digital art. I just had to look at those flesh colored pointy things sticking out at the end of my arms and watch as they pushed the keys down on my keyboard. My eyes took over for my sense of feeling. It wasn’t overly difficult to figure out.

    Now my eyes are going. This MS is a real bitch. I have had double vision problems before but it always went away after a while. This time it’s not going away. I have to close one eye to see straight or to do anything and it’s still not in great focus.

    I have been walking around like I am drunk for the past couple of years and have been able to deal with it. I fall down and bounce off of walls all the time (it’s kind of funny if you see it but it’s a bit embarrassing for me). I was able to try and control it enough to function and could still work ( I am a master at hiding things, I learned it as JW kid growing up). Now when I walk around the feeling of being drunk is still there but added to that everything around me looks as if I am seeing it in a dream. People pay good money for street drugs that can make you feel this way and I’m getting it for free.

    Basically my mind is going and I need to face it. I could deal with my body going, it’s had a good life, but I can’t deal with my mind going. I mean, I’m in there but my brain has quit give out the right information to my body so it can still function. Now I know how Stephen Hawking must feel. Somebody’s home, but they just can’t answer the door.

    Soooooooooo, before I get to the point where I won’t be able to say goodbye, I’ll do it now while I can still see my keyboard with one good eye and type with two good fingers… well at least they still “look” good.

    This board and the people here have been a big part of my life for the past six or so years. I joined it after my last relationship ended to a beautiful, intelligent but very neurotic and psychologically messed up exJW woman who I loved very much. You people here helped me realize that we are all a little neurotic and that’s OK. You have also helped me realize that I shouldn’t pick on the Christians so much (even though it was fun to do sometimes) some of them are damn good people. I needed that and I thank you all for it.

    I don’t know how much longer I’ll last. Maybe a few months maybe a few years. I just knew I needed to say thank you to you all and I will miss you before I couldn’t type or read anymore. If things clear up heath wise (it’s not probable but ya never know) I’ll slip in and say hi or take one more good shot at a fanatical fundie or try to give a little advice to a “just out” lost JW (I have always liked doing that the most on this board and I hope maybe something I said may have helped a person or two).

    Don’t feel bad for me, I don’t. I have always said no matter how bad things may look or get there are always a lot of people who have had it, and still have it, a hell of a lot worse then I did or do.

    Be nice to each other, because outside of our little community, nobody else really gives a shit.

    Take care all and goodbye.


    “ It’s not my fault…..I was raised in a cult.

  • blondie

    Sorry, to hear about the MS, Dave. I appreciate your posts. But you have to put the important things first.

    Love, Blondie

  • Bryan

    I don't know what to say, seven.

    I have always enjoyed reading your posts. I hope you have a support group there with you as you need them.

    My best,


  • AlmostAtheist

    I was always disappointed to read, "Good point, Dave!" only to find that they were talking to you -- not me! The fact that it happened often enough that I remember it says quite a bit for your posting prowess.

    Thanks for sharing. You're one of the good ones.


  • Think

    Dave, we love you and we are with you.

    Trust in God, He love you too.

    Take care of yourself, loving yourself is important too.

    God Bless YOU .

  • damselfly

    (((Dave))) ~ I have always enjoyed your posts here, so sorry to here about the MS, that is a bitch of a disease to try and handle. Please know that I will be thinking of you. Take care and if you can check in from time to time.


  • cruzanheart

    (((((Dave))))) The brilliance of your mind will never be lost to all of us who can read and reread your posts. Your art is a legacy for generations to come. And our lives are richer for knowing you.

    You're a hero.


  • anewme

    Keep up the courage Steven.

    Thankyou for this letter you have just written.

    I will remember this farewell when I need to summon my own courage.

    Life is a fantastic journey into the unknown tomorrow.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    This breaks my heart, ((((((Dave)))))))). It reminds me of my Kristi, who also had MS. Cancer treatment got her first.

    Know that we love you, Dave........LOVE your posts.......and we'll miss you VERY much.

    Take care of YOU.


  • LittleToe

    You cut through the shyte like no-one else I know. Between your insightful posts here and your incredible artwork, I for one have to thank you for spending yourself this way.

    I hate flattery and empty platitudes, so please believe me when I say that I think that your a truly great guy - one of the best - ya miserable wee meppan!

    You were a loss when you ducked out of here before, and you're going to be a loss now, like a hole in the heart. Like you, I hope that your health does a U-turn, though you've got more invested in it


    Bon soir, mon amez!

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