I hate this cult... and how my dad abuses my mom

by Awakened at Gilead 85 Replies latest members private

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    I haven't started any new threads on here as I was on my SW US roadtrip up until a few days ago. I went with my JW mom and my exJW gf throughout AZ and CA.

    I should post about the details about the trip on another thread, but suffice it to say that all 3 of us had a great time, meeting my worldly family who I haven't seen in about 30 years, and meeting some cool JWDers along the way! My mom's eyes were opened quite a bit, and she loved my gf and thought that the JWDers such as Flipper, JeremyC, Danielp, and Confession were pretty cool people who didn't fit into the hateful WT description of apostates.

    Anyway, now my mom is back home, and has had to face my self-righteous bastard of a step-father. He is an emotional abuser, who feels justified in angry fits of rage and screaming for hours. So, my mother has been the subject of his interrogation ever since flying in on Monday night. My mother, subjected to this abuse, explained what she did on the trip, and said boldly that she was happy for me, felt that my life has improved since I left the JWs, and approves of my "living in sin". Last night he spoke to the elders about everything she told him, and upon coming home from the meeting, screamed at her for 2 more hours, and finally told her that if he dies he doesn't want me present at his funeral.

    When my mom told me that, I laughed, and I replied that since he is anointed, he will know if I go, and he can personally send a lightning bolt to take care of me. But at any rate, I have no intentions of going to the Kingdom Hall, being treated like a pariah, and then listening to some bulshit about Kenny now being in heaven since he was of the "heavenly hope". Of course, should that unfortunate event occur, I would go to comfort my mother, but the Kingdom Hall can go to hell, for all I care.

    Anyway, after all this and hearing how my mother has been screamed at for the past 3 days, I decided to lodge a complaint with the PO of the congregation. He was taken aback when the DA son of Kenny the wonderful elder called him up, but I spoke to tell him that I was concerned about my mother. The convo went like this:

    Lance: I am concerned about my mother, since Kenny is screaming at her. I don't think that's Christian.

    PO: Well, you are not a Christian, so how dare you judge?

    Lance: Whether I believe in Christ is irrelevant, the point is that my mother is being mistreated. He has done this ever since I was a child, screaming at her for hours.

    PO: Why didn't you report this earlier?

    Lance: Well, I was a child, I couldn't report it then. When I left home at 19 to go to Bethel, I was happy to leave that environment. I also never reported it because I had no intention of him losing his privileges. I am not trying to make him lose privileges now, but I am concerened about my mother.

    PO: Well, since you did not tell us earlier, that means you were loyal to a man instead of being loyal to Jehovah.

    Lance: I am not interested in being loyal to Jehovah, I don't believe in him. All I am concerened about is my mother. Can you help her?

    PO: Well, you turned your bak of Jehovah, and you are not a JW in good standing. So I must view anything you say as suspicious. Besides, you have left your wife and are living with another woman, isn't that true?

    Lance: Yes it is. But that's none of your business. The point is that my mother is being abused. Can you check into it?

    PO: Well, since you are not a JW in good standing, I will not. If a JW in good standing calls me, I will look into it. And until you get your life in order, I will not talk to you.

    Lance: My life is in order, thank you very much. And I have no intention of returning to the WT organization, as I know it to be a ... I will hold my tongue, Bro. T.

    PO: Well, that is the end of the conversation.

    Lance: Will you at least ask my mom how she is being treated?

    PO: No I won't. Unless a baptized JW calls me, I won't do anything since nothing uillegal is happening. That is all.

    I am shaking and sick to my bones about this. The PO asked if I had called stepfather, to which I explained that he had refused to speak with me. So anyway, I called my stepfather on the phone, who began screaming at me about how I was ruining all of their lives. I told him that he and my mother are in their 60's, so I can't ruin their lives, they each need to make their own decisions in life. But I told him to stop screaming at my mother. He hung up on me.

    I am so upset at him, my gf is telling me to calm down, but my blood is boiling!

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    Well, if all it is for that PO to listen to a valid concern for your mother, is a JW still in good standing, I will call the bastard.

    I cannot stand for any woman to be abused.

    Now my blood is boiling.

    purps

  • BurnTheShips
    BurnTheShips

    I am sorry to hear this, I think your step-father needs a therapist, and perhaps medication. His rage stems from a psychological source and your mother is bearing the brunt......my guess is JWism has repressed him.

    Do try to rise above and deal with this in a philosophical state of mind. I hope it get sorted out soon.

    BTS

  • oompa
    oompa

    my blood is boiling too my friend......hey...i am not going to comment on any else of what you wrote because it does not need to be added to. But i will add that i am so proud of your mom...for being with you and taking the trip and liking you gal and jwd friends!!!!Awesome!!!...that seems rare for someone her age....i so wish she had a way to get away from that lunitic.....

    btw...i am a brother in "good standing" if you want me to call....you could have your mom call me, and i could tell that bastard of an elder to intervene or he might get his arse kicked........so sorry friend.......oomps

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    Purps,

    Thanks for the sentiment, but he won't listen to you. He is very legalistic, and asked me what evidence I had. I told him I don't have a tape recorder of his screaming, if that's what he meant. That was what he meant.

    BTS,

    I agree, he needs therapy, and meds. His brother is schizophenic, and he is dysfunctional. That's why I worry for my mom. When she gets DFd (bc the witch hunt is on, and she knows she is going to get the axe), I know he is going to flip. That's why I am so upset, even now, bc it's going to get even worse.

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    Thanks Oomps... I just called my mom and my dad has just screamed at her for my phone call. She was cowering in her room. I told her that she needs to speak to the PO, since they can do sth for her. She's too afraid, at least for now.

  • oompa
    oompa

    I wonder what the reprecussions would be if a hundred or so faders here called him all night long about this serious matter?...and every other elder in his hall?....can anyone help your mom?.....she has some spunk to take a stand and travel with you...how can we help?...this is just to sad.....oomps

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    I was thinking, this is how this cult works,

    Instead of being concerned for your mother, AND for your father, and the rest of the FLOCK, because if he displays this conduct to her, how does he treat the flock?

    This PO is worried about legalities and causing trouble.

    The same thing they do to children that are sexually abused.

    I am really sorry for you and your Mom.

    purps

  • BurnTheShips
    BurnTheShips

    bc it's going to get even worse.

    *sigh*, you have my condolences. I am sorry if this turns out to be so. Some things you just can't fix, you just have to bear the burdens or not care and be happy anyways. I hope maybe he "gets it" and turns his life around. Your mother is getting part of the pain of his "cancer". That kind of anger does not come out of thin air, it is deep rooted. My wife still has a lot of JW family. It is my opinion that it is much harder for older people to leave. When you have invested so much of your natural life in the cult and the investment is so huge, it is very, very hard to face and move on. Besides, I secretly suspect that many of these longtime dubs have already had their "crisis of conscience" like us apostates and didn't have the moral courage to do what needed doing. I won't call all of them cowards because some have extenuating circumstances, and losing your whole family is a strong motivation to re-brainwash yourself.

    BTS

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    I am stunned and I don't know what to say. That conversation was just maddening, and if you showed it to anyone except an ex-Witness they wouldn't even believe it, but we know how they think, react, and talk.

    I don't know what the answer is... well of course I do the answer is for her to leave him.

    My thoughts are with you and your Dear Mom.

    Love to you all,
    Baba.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit