Goodbye and Swansongs

by LittleToe 113 Replies latest jw friends

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    What's with the recent spate of folks saying goodbye, or giving swansongs?

    This is a webboard. People come and people go. People take breaks and people dip in and out. People reduce their posting, and sometimes they pick it up some. People do what people do.

    No excuses are required, no permission, no pride needs satisfying, nor humble pie eaten on a return. It's just a webboard.

    Do we apologise and bid farewell on Google when we take a break from the whole Internet, sending an email to "All Users" in our address books, or do we create a fanfare and ask for a pin to mark the spot on Google-Earth, when we return? This is just a small corner of the Web.

    The Web has been around for years, with people coming and going. For many it's like their right arm, in the modern age. The chances are that they aren't going to give it up. Even when one small corner no longer holds their interets quite the same, there's a high probability that they will browse it to see what's changed, once in a while

    No-one like to say goodbye, and no-one likes to hear it. Then there's the peculiar reaction that exJWs often have to it, like it's final, and like we're losing yet something else. Why put ourselves or others through that? Or is it like underlining point in our lives, like "disassociating", as if everything in our lives needs such an aura of finality? Again, I ask, why should life be like that? It's not like moving home or changing a job - we can access websites from pretty much anywhere on earth.

    Personally speaking, I've hung out here quite a while. It took me ages to get to my first 1,000 posts, and the elusive "Jedi" status. Then I seemed to get on a roll and was swept up with the addiction of interaction and soon passed 10,000 posts. Somehow little old me became part of the woodwork, which is both stupifying and scary at the same time. I managed to get one post edited and one thread deleted in all that time. I also managed to tic off Simon at least twice

    Often I've felt overwhelmed with what I read here. Regularly I'll take breaks to recover, with one such LOOOONG overdue break extending for about three months, with me just occasionally checking for PMs, etc. At first folks would post asking where I was, but now it just seems to be something that folks have got used to, as I occasionally drop off the face of the earth. Or maybe it's all the fresh newbies. It's hard to keep up with all the posters here. New folks are appearing all the time, and are just as hurt as the rest of us have been. The same needs coming around time and time again. Its true that no-one is indispensible - thank gawd!

    It often surprises me to see folks lose their empathy for that. It's like they get to a point of recovery themselves, but then want nothing to do with helping the next generation (in this case often only a couple of years, not 70 - 80 ) of posters. Of course some just aren't made that way, and the best they can hope for is to get themselves in a better place and hope that that is a positive benefit to the world at large. I don't see anything wrong in that. There's no obligation incurred by posting, other than just treating others reasonably (which is the whole of the law posting guidelines).

    The strangest thing, to my way of thinking, is hearing about the boardwars, where folks go to another part of PUBLIC cyberspace and moan about previous areas they've occupied. The latest trick seems to be a deplorable habit of posting pictures of folks and their kids in places of the Internet that it's illegal to visit (in most decent-minded States and countries). Whatever happened to a sense of {not-so-]common decency? I guess the gloves can come off when someone dares (gawd-forbid) say something against us in print, either on a webboard or in private? Time to have a field day of slander and mayhem, in some kind of bitter and twisted sense of reprisal? I guess the WTS needs blaming for that, too, huh? Fortunately most folks are "human" (or maybe merely "adult") and the thought doesn't even enter their heads!

    So, what are we here for? Is it merely for entertainment? Is it to help out? Is it to find a voice and evolve? Is it to meet up with other "survivors"? Is it to sharpen our teeth on doctrine, policy, argumentation, history, or life in general? Is it to grow and help grow? Is it to make a few friends, and hopefully not too many enemies?

    All of these are admirable enough reasons to be here, or in any other forum of interest, and there are no doubt many more. So why say "goodbye" with an air of finality?

    In the words of the long-departed Logansrun: Discuss...

  • JH
    JH

    We should all shun everyone who leaves this board !!!

  • jgnat
    jgnat
    So, what are we here for? Is it merely for entertainment? Is it to help out? Is it to find a voice and evolve? Is it to meet up with other "survivors"? Is it to sharpen our teeth on doctrine, policy, argumentation, history, or life in general? Is it to grow and help grow? Is it to make a few friends, and hopefully not too many enemies?

    Yes.

  • james_woods
    james_woods

    Darnit it all, Little Toe - you sucked me into this one.

    Here I thought you were putting a gun into your mouth, too!

    See you at the sweatfest, if you can last that long...

    James

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Interesting little rant there honey - I didnt think it was all that hot and sunny up north?

    I think some people post to say they are taking a break or leaving permanently because they rightly think that people will worry about them if they vanish without word. I'd like to think that if I vanished without trace someone would wonder why!

    As for why am I here - its probably if I am truthful split four ways.

    50% I need the support and people to talk to

    25% i feel i owe people here some support in return

    5% one day I may get reunited with someone who recognises me here - family/friend

    20% to while away the time discussing topical events and getting a good laugh.

    I'm with you on goodbyes - I personally I hate good byes and avoid it all costs under most circumstances.

  • kid-A
    kid-A

    "So why say "goodbye" with an air of finality?"

    Amen, Ross. I have never really understood the concept of the "good-bye" thread either. First, in many cases, people do continue to post long after their "final" farewell thread. People come and go, but I'm not a huge fan of the "swansong" concept, unless you're Frank Sinatra on some "farewell" world tour. LOL. Reminds me of the annual "Rolling Stones Farewell Tour" which they have been having since the mid-80s. LOL

    Second, I think a spate of good-bye threads stated with such an air of finality may give the impression to lurkers that we are somehow "shutting down", one-by-one, which certainly is not the case. IMHO, folks should stick around, post when they can even if you cant post as much as before due to career changes, scheduling, etc. Keep the board hopping and alive, welcome the newbies, lets increase the "emperor class" here on JWD and remember that when we post, we are providing a voice to the ex-dub community and cause.

  • Seeker4
    Seeker4

    Littletoe:

    Nice post, and I've wondered the same about all the goodbyes myself. You mean, like that person will never ever post here again?? It all seems so dramatic and unnecessarily final.

    I've had times when I've posted here every day, then gone for months without even looking at the board. And for sure, I don't think anyone was worrying too much about me not posting! Then again, I'm not a Littletoe or Richie Rich or Mouthy! It took me forever to get my first 1000 posts here just a few weeks ago.

    Why the need to decide to stop posting forever? Come and go, but that just seems silly.

    S4

  • RunningMan
    RunningMan

    I'm particularly amused by people who ask to have their account deleted. What nonsense.

  • james_woods
    james_woods

    Well, there was one big goodbye thread that made sense when I first got here -

    That great poster Seven006;

    If he had not said the words, we would not have known what was going on.

    I hope he is still lurking out there.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Crumpet:
    Summer came and went and came again. It reminds me of the comments on weather in Monty Python's Holy Grail

    S4:
    I noticed ya

    James:
    Dave had good reason, for sure, although that was perhaps for the saddest of reasons. I really miss his posts, ornery b*st*rd that he is!

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