What "CAUSES" a molested child to hurt? (Warning: Possible Triggers) (page 11)

Big Tex

Little Witch, that is an excellent idea. I'll put a warning up on the title of the thread right now.

little witch

Thanks so much BT

See, as I read through the many posts, it triggered me, and I could see others. Just the subject matter. And we are not all on the same level as far as being able to confront the horror.

gumby

The more this thread goes on.....the MORE shocked I am by how many of you have suffered. I had NO idea.

I wonder if the dubs have higher percentages of molested victims(prior to being dubs) because the dubs always preach of happiness in a paradise SOON to come, and because the dubs shower you with love at first when you show an intrest in their message. If I was a victim suffering, and a friendly dub approached me with a message from Rev.21 about no more pain or crying soon to be realised in a paradise earth....I probably would have taken the bait had I been a lonely, sad, emotional mess from being victimized. The sad thing is that those who DO become dubs, then are DFed........have that added burden to their already existing problems. I don't see how these ones survive....I honestly don't.

I wish to congragulate ALL victims who have survived sexual assault, and dub assault......you are truely champions and hero's!

Thanks littlewitch for sharing your story ......ANOTHER sad story.

Gumby

bisous

Big Tex:

What happened to your parents?

Big Tex

What happened to your parents?

My mother died of cancer in 1989. My father is still a ministerial servant in good standing. In fact just a couple of years ago, there was a circuit assembly part on "Christian Parents". My father was the only person interviewed. The speaker said he was a "shining example" of fatherhood. Kind of says all you really need to know about Jehovah's Witnesses, eh?

I had my name legally changed. I haven't seen or talked with him, or my 2 sisters in 12 years. If you want to see a picture of them when I was 4 years old, here's one.

cruzanheart

BT's mom died in 1989 of cancer. We were threatened with physical violence if we attended the funeral and the elder who gave the talk purposely (he knew the situation) left BT's name off the list of survivors.

His dad is a ministerial servant in good standing in the Hebron (Carrollton), Texas congregation. He has since remarried and has two stepchildren (boys).

We have no contact with any of the family -- their choice and ours. When I was pregnant with Jennie in 1993 we legally changed our last name so that our family would start a new line of people untainted by abuse. About a year after we had Jackson, we heard that BT's younger sister also had a little boy and named him "Jackson." Now that's creepy.

Nina

bisous

Its for these occasions I wish there was a hell ...

little witch

Something else I would like to share...

When my husband and I first met, (he is 12 years older than I)

I was in a "vocal stage" about what had happened to me. I told him early on because he was the first lover that I CHOSE.

We continued dating, moved in together, and married later on. Now at that time he was 32 and still living with his mother. He was really nervous about sex and intamacy. (sex and intamacy are two different things).

So later we had children, and time moved on....and all these problems keep haunting us. Intamacy problems...Over the years I couldnt figure why My husband would literally run away from me if I lovingly gazed into his eyes, or touched him sweetly.

(he had told me long ago that he was molested, but refused to talk about it in detail)

Finally, as many of you know from a recent post I had made here, things came to a head.

I was ready to walk out on our 18 year marriage.

When I forced him to sit and talk out the divorce details, he crashed. I have never in my life witnessed such an outpouring of emotion. He at 51 was a sobbing incoherant mess in my lap. Like a heartbroken child.....

I wont go into detail, but suffice it to say that burying that sort of pain is terrible....It will rule your life if you don't unburden yourself in some productive way.

Men especially have a hard time. They are raised to be Strong, and not cry, not complain..."Be a Man"!!

I so appreciate your openess BT. I intend to share this thread with him when he gets home. I know he will be relieved to know that he is not alone. I cannot begin to thank you enough.

and ((((gumby))) for starting the thread, and everyone who has participated.

If you go back at the beginning and read each post, you can see all the repercusions of childhood sexual abuse. They are myriad. In order to see the answer to the original question, you must read it all.

I feel so liberated by all the honest and personal accounts. We are not alone, and not weird. We can take our power back by educating the public.

Thanks again everybody, from someone who needed help.

Frannie Banannie

And yet what I went through is as nothing compared to other stories I've heard

That is SO not true, ((((Big Tex))))! On top of everything else, the violations against you were violent, causing you to fear for your life, as well...simply horrible, hon! Kudos to ya for being a survivor! What a nightmare!

Frannie B

little witch

I agree. The best counsel is from those who have walked a mile in the same shoes.

We are not paid to sympathize. For some, the most immediate concern is to seek professional help. But for many, myself included, the best medicine is to relate this way.

There is something empowering about sharing our experiences in a more open way sort of like group therapy without the confrontation. I like it.

What "CAUSES" a molested child to hurt? (Warning: Possible Triggers)

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