I think Lady Lee's reply to people being offended by gumby asking the questions he did was great;
Many researchers have asked this question. And I think it is valid. Is our reaction to the event causing more of a trauma than the event itself?
For a start, sexual abuse lumps together as 'paedophilia' only in newspaper headlines and easy terms of reference. In most cases there's a clear difference between paedophiles (attracted to preadolescents) and hebephiles (attracted to teenagers).
There are very few cultures (historically) where a preadolsecent would be raised with the expectation of sexual activity with adults. The body isn't ready for adult sexual activity (although children will have their own cultural equivalent of doctoirs and nurses and probaly always have). Thus an adult breaking this rightful taboo is harming the child mentally (as they are not culturally prepared for it and will be aware of something wrong at some level) and quite possibly physically too. I've been out with a girl who was infertle because of abuse.
However, once puberty starts, things are less clear. Different cultures have different expectations.
It would be 'normal' in certain periods for a fourteen year-old to be married, and as that was the way they were raised their feeling of abuse would not be there; they'd expect as a growing gurl to have the marriage of their culture when their contemporaries did, just as little girls dream of a wedding when they are all growed-up. It's just NOW growed-up means 18+ really, not 14.
If we think of our own culture, than we all likely have what would today be called paedophiles in our family tree. People got married earlier, even quite recently. Don't forget that age of consent in many US states has only moved to 16 or 18 (from as low as 12) in the last few decades. When Jerry Lee Lewis came to England with his 14 year-old wife ift caused an uproar... no one thought anything of it in the USA at the time.
Society has moved from a point where the age-of-consent was about the age of sexual maturity (I emphasize BIOLOGICAL maturity as in menstration and the production of sperm, not emotional maturity or reaching full growth) to a point where age-of-consent is about the giving of INFORMED consent.
This is very important for many reasons, sexual equality being one of them (if women were still expected to be married and having babies at 14 then the inequality in society would be worse than it is).
Thus, in answer to the question raised, a preadolescent is harmed because they are not enculturated for adult sexual activity (outside of the most perverted homes), they are not biologically ready for sexual activity, and the instincts that go with that biological readiness are not online yet.
An adolescent is harmed if they are put in situation where there is not free informed consent (and free implies absence of peer pressure or any other pressure) , and the age they're ready to do that will vary between individuals and countries.
Thus there are situations where our reaction CAN in cases make the situation worse. I have seen someone (an adult female) go from being completely happy about a sexual encounter to the opposite end of the spectrum because of other people's reactions to it, and I don't see why an adolescent would not be similarly influenced. Sometimes that influence is right (as in the victim didn't realise their trust if nothing else was being abused), other times that influence is harmful.