Most Annoying Things That Happen At JW Meetings

by LittleSister 82 Replies latest jw friends

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  mindmelda

  We had a sister that would answer nearly every question at the Watchtower with some long, cutesy anecdote about her "down home" Georgia family.

  It was like being forced to watch endless re runs of Hee Haw until you broke down and confessed that you would rather be a Satanist.

  Another one would always make sure that the point her watchtower study conductor hubby had brilliantly made the day before at the family study was always brought out.

  I used to wonder if she was going to start bowing to him and calling him "lord". In fact, she once told me she was thrilled to be "owned" by her husband....I used to wonder if they were into some kinky slave and master thing.
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  XPeterX

  When people repeat loudly what the conductor said,when they talk during the wt study (older jws tend to do it),when they look at you in the eyes and yet snob you,when u feel alone even when u r in the meeting,when they fail you,when you think that you have to do with 5 year old persons,when they talk only about "spiritual things" when they try to conveince u to go to a boring place/do boring stuff.These things are always getting on my nerves.(Though some of the above happen after the end of a meeting.)
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  sawthe light

  At a book study at my house the elder taking it would nearly always be late, i would ask the MS to start but he never would.He would come late and be all smiles, no apologies, just expect us to except it.He was later removed as an elder(cant remember why) and moved to anther congo.
• 

  Kum Vulcan

  Constant references to the "New System". Enough, the Fu#k already, THERE IS NO NEW SYSTEM, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! My delusional sister in law is holding off world travel until the New System (here it goes again), when we will freely travel everywhere...
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  spawn

  Others turning up or breathing, My Mother inlaw answering, as she never knew when to stop and give back the mic People who lived in the next street from the KH who were late to every meeting. A Sister who would give you a look that killed because you were sitting in her seat And brother Perv who did the mic and liked to look down the sisters tops.
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  LittleSister

  Yes I forgot how embarrassing mums mic hogging was and how desperately the conductor would try to get her to stop talking.

  She really should have had a one woman show called "and the fact is".
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  flipper

  Boring speakers used to put me to sleep- literally, I'm not kidding. If an elder or MS was not an emphatic speaker while giving an hour talk either at meetings or assemblies - I would go into narcoleptic fits and pass out right in my chair and enjoy an afternoon slumber. But what would piss me off was I'd wake up with a stiff neck because I slept crooked sitting in my chair ! Would rather have been in bed ! LOL ! So I think monotone speakers who had no gusto- really pissed me off. It was like eating dry toast with no butter
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  Darth plaugeis

  Top 10 Reasons I Hated Meetings

  #1. The infamous sex discussions about oral and anal sex, from the same elder year after year, who was married, then look to his wife and you can see how miserable she is.

  #2. Working on a talk with your whole heart, only to fail because of some point you didn't hit enough (Hey Brother Almighty stick your TMS book up your ass).

  #3. Yes the comments....... then there were the comments. You all hit the ones we knew. Every Hall had the same ones. Brother Jesusonearth, Sister Likesthesoundofhervoice, Brother Commentoneveryparagragh.

  #4. The cougher, all F@&ING MEETING EVERY MEETING.

  #5. Talks about the conduct at Conventions. Outside food is a no no. So at the Convention you see the very same Brother walking up the aisle with a HUGE bag of McDonald's.

  #6. Field Service meetings ..... Oh God please not his or her car group, I beg you ......... Jesus, JAH, DON'T YOU EVER ANSWER A PRAYER OF MINE?

  #7. Being told to move done front.... "Brothers, Sisters lets all move down Ok?" I swear it was a power trip.

  #8. Hearing the Speaker cancelled.. Yes half a meeting, only to have Brother Jesusonearth fill in.

  #9. The Songs

  #10. Special Needs Talks, mainly because 80% of the hall looked over to me. OH BITE ME!!!
• 

  mindmelda

  About the sleeping during meetings thing...I remember one brother from another congo as a frequent guest speaker that was such a monotone speaker that he invariably put half the congo to sleep.

  We used to dread his talks because you would just struggle to stay away.

  Because I'm a big smart ass (you hadn't noticed?) one day after the Sunday talk, I had to make this loud comment to my husband,"If we could sell recordings of that talk, we could make a fortune curing insomnia."

  Several people in front of me heard it, and started laughing and the joke quickly passed around the whole KH, which was small.

  That brother was never invited back for another guest speak. I'd like to think I had something to do with that. LOL

  My poor dad always falls asleep if he sits for very long. He's just getting older and I'm sure that heavy work schedules, boring talks and the overly warm KH, wearing hot wool suits, all contribute to falling asleep during meetings.
• 

  Lieu

  Using the Quaker term "friends" to death.

  People with lively manners speaking in a borish monotone. Leading one to belive the worship of God and acknowledgement of Jesus sacrifice is supposed to be boring.

  Brothers talking "at" everyone instead of "to" everyone.

  Speaking in third person like one is having an out of body experience.

  Taking scriptures totally out of context or leaving off the most important parts.