Posts by kproscts

27

I need a good beating for what I did this morning

by freeman in

jw
friends

this morning i let my emotions run away with me and challenged my 20-year-old son into defending his loyalty to the watchtower shunning doctrine.

it was not good, im in no way proud of myself.

im sure he and my dub wife will likely mischaracterize it as an attack on god; anything said against the tower is always an attack on god.

kproscts

my thoughts are with you on this, best wishes.

19

Alright, Now I am Pissed!

by kproscts in

jw
friends

i just got off the phone with my mom; i love her now more than i did as a kid.

i have over the years briefly brought up my "doubts" about the teaching and she quickly dismissed what i was saying and said it was not for her to hear and that she believed in jehovah to set all things right.

so since i have made a point to "pacify" her talks when it came to the jws, recently as some of you know i found this site and in addition to what i learned my understanding of the jws and their secrets are even better known.

kproscts

Thanks everyone, I know many if not all in some way have gone through similar. Just really burns my a--, I have been out for about 10 years now, having grown up in the JW and my mom just holds onto this so hard, I do not think she could function without it? It just causes so many so much pain. Where there is a will there is a way, maybe one day,without letting it rule my life, I can make it right?

19

Alright, Now I am Pissed!

by kproscts in

jw
friends

i just got off the phone with my mom; i love her now more than i did as a kid.

i have over the years briefly brought up my "doubts" about the teaching and she quickly dismissed what i was saying and said it was not for her to hear and that she believed in jehovah to set all things right.

so since i have made a point to "pacify" her talks when it came to the jws, recently as some of you know i found this site and in addition to what i learned my understanding of the jws and their secrets are even better known.

kproscts

I think you said it well Minimus, the words just escaped me at this hour. Alamb, I wish I had some words for you, my heart goes out to you and I thank you for your comfort and wish you the best as well.

I just can't help but think there is something I am missing, something that would make them listen. If it were my brother and it came down to it I would beat the hell out of him till he actually listened to what I had to say and not dismiss me before I spoke. I have done it before, he has done this to me, why can't others understand? We did not come to blows over BS, we did so out of love & concern, I know this sounds extreme but in this case it worked, of course we knew one another that well. I am not saying we beat the hell out of everyone, but damn. I am smarter than this and I just can't come up with the answer right now and I am very frustrated over the matter as I know many are.

19

Alright, Now I am Pissed!

by kproscts in

jw
friends

i just got off the phone with my mom; i love her now more than i did as a kid.

i have over the years briefly brought up my "doubts" about the teaching and she quickly dismissed what i was saying and said it was not for her to hear and that she believed in jehovah to set all things right.

so since i have made a point to "pacify" her talks when it came to the jws, recently as some of you know i found this site and in addition to what i learned my understanding of the jws and their secrets are even better known.

kproscts

Thanks to both of you, I wish it were not so late here. I want to say more, I have some questions to ask, but it is late.

Water - thanks, truely. Minuimus - I thank you as well, does not your heart go out to her and at the same time you feel anger! Anger is not the right word I wish at this hour I could come up with the right word, but thank you both.

I am glad to know I am not alone, not really, in some way I wish I were. I only wish everyone the best, to have a mother or a loved one so distrautght and yet have the feeling of hopelessness, it makes me sad not only for myself and mother but for all others.

19

Alright, Now I am Pissed!

by kproscts in

jw
friends

i just got off the phone with my mom; i love her now more than i did as a kid.

i have over the years briefly brought up my "doubts" about the teaching and she quickly dismissed what i was saying and said it was not for her to hear and that she believed in jehovah to set all things right.

so since i have made a point to "pacify" her talks when it came to the jws, recently as some of you know i found this site and in addition to what i learned my understanding of the jws and their secrets are even better known.

kproscts

I just got off the phone with my mom; I love her now more than I did as a kid. I have over the years briefly brought up my "doubts" about the teaching and she quickly dismissed what I was saying and said it was not for her to hear and that she believed in Jehovah to set all things right.

So since I have made a point to "pacify" her talks when it came to the JW’s, recently as some of you know I found this site and in addition to what I learned my understanding of the JW’s and their secrets are even better known.

Being in business, haven been part of the Citicorp investigation, I know and understand how businesses deceive their shareholders, etc. I was, granted only a small fraction of the reason they were fined for the recent in fracture and will be another small portion for the up coming court case, but none-the-less, I know from what I have seen what the WTS has done is no different from a: Citicorp, Enron, Imclone, etc.

I did send for COC and )*&^^%^$^)(*^ ß is all I can say about that and the life I have lost over this BS, not to mention the lives of the thousands of others out there, including those of you here, all of my family is in the JW, the only one left alive that I love is my mother. Tonight I tried to bring up the subject and I got as far as to say: " Mom, I love you and I don’t know how to say this, you asked that I examine the scriptures and find the truth for myself. I have heard what you have said and over the years I have done so and what I have learned, especially recently, I can not put into words other than this life has been for not! I fear that if I speak with you about this that I may never be able to have the limited contact that I do and I do not know what to do?

I got as far as explaining I had done much research into the above and what I found, literally made my blood boil. I told her that on my brother’s grave, NO – that should I be lying about what I was about to say I would for go ever seeing my brother again and nothing and I mean nothing would make me say such a thing!

Well that is far as I got and she started to cry, she said why don’t we leave that there and that she promised my it was the word of Satan! That there were false prophets in this world and they would miss lead me with false information! The whole time she was crying and I was dyeing inside, I know she does NOT know what I know. Even more I have to live with the fact that if I said F--- it and went down and showed her what I had learned, what I have experience, her whole world would be destroyed as was mine! ß I can’t live with that, so I have to live with knowing what I know and never saying anything more about this. I at 31, have to just deal with being me, alone.

She knows when my brother died and the government covered up their own F-up, that his estranged wife and what she did, I took both of them to task and I won on many levels and lost on many more (it all comes down to money). She knows what I will do when someone I love is wronged and yet, she believes with her whole heart I am wrong. I am so saddened by this! I want to say so much more but I am sure at this point many of you have lived this and many of you understand.

I am just not one to stand by and let sh-t like this continue without a fight, I am methodical in how I approach these battles. I don’t know what to do and I am actually left with the fact that even if I were to take down the WTS myself she would still be there believing – only now, she would believe I were the devil himself and punish herself for having given birth to me.

I am not one to self-pity, but I am not one to let injustice continue! Do we all just sit and talk, is there nothing we can do? Damn, I am sorry to ramble like this but I am pissed, she was so scared, she cried so hard because she missed me, she prayed that Jehovah would have mercy on me and spare me his wrath, she does not know!

Alright, I am going to leave it at this but I do have a couple of questions that I will ask later, at this late hour I am sure I am the only one here and this post will go without say. Thanks for letting me ramble and I will get back to you all on my two questions.

Let me say this in closing, I truly feel for all that have lost in this manner or lost in any manner for that fact! I know there are many who have suffered more than I and my heart goes out to all. I can not stand those whom pray on the weak only for their self-indulgence and gratification! Unfortunately this is why most back home fear me; I don’t stand idly by and do nothing and yet nothing seems to be my only choice!

Thanks for letting me vent.

KPROPSCTS

50

Apologies for any hurt feelings

by Simon in

i know i probably go too far sometimes and can get a little 'determined' on some issues (my wife calls it pig headed & stubborn).

sometimes i am too blunt.

sometimes i won't let things go and want to prove my point.

kproscts

It take a bigger man to stand up and take the high road, some of these debates have become really heated. I think all is well that ends well and sometimes we all need to vent or speak our minds even when views are opposite.

I personally am glad to have a site like this to come to, chat with others who have shared similar paths, learn from others, having and giving support to others, so thanks for the hard work and keep it up.

JT

63

What turns you OFF?

by logansrun in

a couple days ago minimus asked the question (anyone notice he's always asking questions?

me: snobbery, ignorance, flourescent lighting and hands that are shedding innocent blood.

bradley

kproscts

People who play on and manipulates the emotions & hearts of others; intentionally and willfully - for their own gain. (whatever it maybe).

People who have never had to "survie" yet feel they have been persecuted.

Everything already mentioned above and I am sure more, but this is good for now.

12

DO IT, OR DIE!

by Jessica Rabbit in

jw
friends

i think maybe some of the members on this board criticise those of us who are always bringing up our childhood experiences in the jw organization because they may have only been exposed to it briefly and then got out quick.

maybe they think it was all in our heads and we should just get over it.

what is so sad is that every decision i ever made in my life either meant i would die at armageddon or live forever in the new system because that was reality.

kproscts

Jess,

I know how you feel and glad you found this site as I did. I know it is limited thinking especially coming from me, but I truely did not realize how many people were affected and in the same position as I was. NILFUN's quote is perfect in this situation. Best wishes on your new journey.

24

What ya doing?

by Vivamus in

jw
friends

it's 2.30 am over here [yes, thats holland].

and i'm working on an essay.

midnight working works best for me, as i have no distractions from phones ringing, friends coming over or things like that.

kproscts

Hey -busting on my Iron bit. I have to say if I could find shirts like that for the suits I would! Now it's time for a quick night cap tatty.

28

Stu New

by stu in

hi there im new here so a brief biog to say hi.

ill be a bit vague cos not sure how safe with poss jw's seeing as friends and parents still jw's and im not d'sd or df'd just stopped going.probably being paranoid.wonder why?was brought up jw did 'bad things' in teens whilst pioneering felt sick with guilt then got doubts started hanging with worldlys got grassed up by my sis for doing drugs but manage to avoid ds/da and left fairly quietly.

i live in birmingham england have been my own man for over two years but after the initial great im free feeling i guess im a bit flat now.

kproscts

Hi Stu, glad your here.

I'm new myself and it was good to learn I was not alone, enjoy there are a lot of great topics and conversations here.