czarofmischief
JoinedTopics Started by czarofmischief
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Jehovah Goes on Hunger Strike
by czarofmischief injehovah the creator has announced his holy intention of not consuming any food until the presence of anti-war hippies is removed from his shows.
upset at the continual presence of young people protesting the u.s. and british intervention in iraq, jehovah announced that either they quit bugging him or he will famish himself as a statement of support for the violent overthrow of saddam hussein.. "i'm an artist," said jehovah, in an interview at gator's saloon in bloomfield, pa. "it's my responsibility to overcome stupidity and short sightedness.".
while the concept of a supreme being getting involved in earthly politics may be upsetting to some, the source of dynamic energy is an ardent supporter of political demonstrations of military strength.
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Jehovah Launches Solo Career
by czarofmischief in2 months after breakup with group, deity starts anew.. two months after bitterly breaking up with the group jehovah's witnesses, jehovah god has announced the launch of his new solo effort.
at a press conference in pittsburgh, the historical launching pad for his previous religious affiliation, jehovah seemed relaxed and happy as he puffed on an illegaly imported cuban cigar and discussed his marketing strategy.. wearing a snowy white t-shirt and a modest crown of eternal fire, radiating holiness, purity, and joie de vivre, jehovah wowed reporters with his wit and sincerity.
the back of crazy mocha coffee shop in the bloomfield section of town rang loud with laughter and the occasional salvation of a weary sinner.. "that's strictly for effect, you know," said the supreme being, watching a newly converted member of his solo effort roll on the floor.
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Hamas, I'm sorry...
by czarofmischief ini feel like i'm waking up, like some kind of horrible nightmare has drained out of my bloodstream and left me tired and weak, with things to apologize for.
so, im doing it publicly.
like saying we should nuke mecca during the hajj.
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Pax Americana
by czarofmischief inthe new world order is here.
it is the american empire.. it makes sense, really.
"manifest destiny", andy jackson, it has all led up to this.
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The ten best ways to disrupt a District Assembly:
by czarofmischief in1. have an apostate food truck outside with free burritos and shasta cola.. 2. wear a smurf costume and run across the stage.. 3. bikini car wash across the street.. 4. have an old-school breakdancing session on the corner, cardboard and all.
bonus if you do it on a mat made of watchtowers and primary colored book covers.. 5. have a garage sale or flea market in the neighborhood during the afternoon session.. 6. sit in the audience and applaud everything that anybody says - try to get a standing ovation for each sentence of the closing prayer.. 7. put a recording of rap, heavy metal, or other forbidden music on instead of the kingdom melodies.. 8. get fifty of your friends to walk around in the stadium during the session, holding signs that say, "louder please!
" and "take your shirt off!
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Jehovah dissassociates self!
by czarofmischief indeity resigns post.
in a press conference this morning, jehovah god announced his intention to remove himself from association with the watchtower organization, citing "irreconcilable differences" and "personality clashes" with senior witness leadership.. "they kept on bugging me, taking my ideas and then twisting them, and then hogging all the credit!
" said god.. "the final straw was when they told me my son had to cut his hair," said god.
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Is heavy metal demonized? YOUR vote counts!
by czarofmischief inhyah!.
so, since i left the borg, i've been exploring all kinds a cool stuff that i wasn't allowed to do.
rated r movies, blood sausages, rap music, wearing my hat backwards, patriotism, sex.. so, you know how the society and other fundies are always saying that heavy metal is the tool of the devil?
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a note of caution
by czarofmischief inthis site helps explain some people's reservations about child abuse allegations.. http://www.religioustolerance.org/ra_case.htm.
why is it so important that incompetent people (ie.
the elders) not be allowed to be the investigative, judicial, and enforcement arms in these kind of cases?
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What happens to the dead?
by czarofmischief ini'm curious about your opinions, post jw.
please refrain from serving me a swedish chef smorgasboard of quoted/pasted materials.
i don't read them anyway.
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About that pesky number 666...
by czarofmischief inas a horror fan, i've seen every antichrist movie from the omen to the omega code.
and that number 666 keeps popping up.
so, i was thinking about that number, and how it's actually written in the bible is a bit odd.