Topics Started by zanex
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Christmas Feeling
by zanex ini didnt get a chance to post this closer to christmas for my own reasons but i wanted to say something about the christmas with my daughter...she will be 2 on feb 1st so this christmas was the first one that she actively took an interest in and the reaction on her face and her body was incredible...i think for one of the first times ever i felt christmas...i really dont know how to explain but i am sure that ones here will be able to relate.
her little face just smacked of curiosity when she saw the presents then her face just beamed when she opened them one by one.
it warmed hy heart...i have been so cold and frosty for so so long and it just felt so good.
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27
moral dilemna
by zanex ini have been df'd for a good long time and have gone/going through the different stages of the healing process but i dont think that i am anywhere to giving up all of my deep-seated anger and hostility that i continue to have.
i have gotten attatched to it, ironically enough.
my moral and maybe somewhat ethical delimmna is: i am in a service provider position and i provide translation services for members of a specific community of interest...problem is that a certain person has come into my focus of the world...an elder.......a great many bones in my body want to manipulate and maneuver his life into the palm of my hand....then crush him.
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zanex remembers...and writes
by zanex inmy breathing quickens.
something tightens around my chest.
walls closing in.
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zanex sez ltrz
by zanex in.
i'm outta here...been nice meetin y'all...not sure whats gonna happen but...ltrz...gotta focus on livin outside of this board.....
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zanexical connundrum
by zanex ini met a lady...as i have mentioned here before i am going thru a divorce and it hasnt been the nicest thing in the world...i met someone who has been very nice to me and patient with me and doesnt expect anythin out of me other than for me to be myself..she is a non-jw..we have been kind of just seein each other randomly.
i like her...i am a bit nervous about gettin into any type of relatinship just now and she understands that and accepts that.
i feel sooo scarred by what happened to me in that horridly destructive marriage that i dont know if i am ever going to be able to completely trust women in general but this one has been proving herself to be nothing but trustworthy and honest.
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trippin...
by zanex inwow so i am totally confuzed now...my dad sent me a page on my 2 way pager last nite sayin that he had an email that he was going to send to my ex and her parental units and that he wanted to make sure that i was ok with the content that was going to be in the letter.
now knowing me and my past experiences i'm sure everyone here knows how extremely crass i took that, i was totally expecting something negative and scathingly dubbish...in reality tho when i got to a computer and read what he had written i am loathe to say that my jaw was on the ground...they stood up for me!
my ex has 2 sets of parents that has been totally assisting her and i have been on my own out here but now i think that maybe i will get some assistance from my parents of all people!
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14
certifiable...it was bound to happen
by zanex inwell its official now i guess...i went to see the doc the other day cuz of all the mental crap that has been wreaking havoc on my mind lately and wreaking havoc on my sleeping and eating patterns.
namely i havent been sleeping or eating much if any.
i was given, much to my humor, xanax...sigh.
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zanex gettin creative?
by zanex ini saw the fires light.
i heard the cries of silence.
freedom was coming.