I didnt get a chance to post this closer to christmas for my own reasons but I wanted to say something about the christmas with my daughter...she will be 2 on feb 1st so this christmas was the first one that she actively took an interest in and the reaction on her face and her body was incredible...I think for one of the first times ever I FELT christmas...I really dont know how to explain but I am sure that ones here will be able to relate. Her little face just smacked of curiosity when she saw the presents then her face just BEAMED when she opened them one by one. It warmed hy heart...I have been so cold and frosty for so so long and it just felt so GOOD. I was happy for her but in a small way I was envious...something so basic that even a child can comprehend I have a difficulty with...sigh...damn jw's...at any rate...it was a first for me...I think I felt some small spark of christmas without feeling the urge to rebut it...
a spark was lit
a light unknown before
a childs innocence and clarity revealed
a feeeling I had never known
my daughter..my little girl...
I learned inside of her eyes
learned looking through her soul
her gift to me...
a gift priceless to me
yet something small to her
if only for a moment or two...
some part of that remains still
it warms me every time I wake
I rocks me when I struggle to sleep
such a small thing it was
her smile, her eyes the way they twinkled with glee
I felt no longer a jw..I felt free...
Thank you my daughter...daddy luvs u...
this is my first christmas that I think I understood and FELT...I wanted to post it..what a way to start off the new year!!!!