Posts by everchangingworld

52

Was it EX JW literature / WT's or the BIBLE which woke you up? Post scriptures if any....

by EndofMysteries in

i considered myself immune to ex jw stuff.

no amount of old watchtowers or anything would change me.

it was seeing treatment of others by elders and the bible itself, which woke me.

everchangingworld

I never remember having any doubts until a few years ago. I was a true believer, although I do remember feeling really uneasy whenever I'd hear someone had become an "apostate". I did wonder if they knew something I didn't, and then I would chase that thought out of my mind.

I don't know why it wasn't until my 30s that I started noticing the inconsistencies, in the Bible and in the WT publications, but once I started noticing, it was hard to shut off. I shoved those doubts aside for another couple of years. I turned to super intense study of WT publications and bible reading to reconcile my doubts, and that's when it all fell apart very quickly.

Things that had bothered me: disfellowshipping arrangement, secret judicial hearing, the arbitrariness of the decisions (I realized that if you could appeal, then their judgment could be wrong the 1st time, yet we weren't allowed to ever question the elders' decisions), "encouraging" young teenagers to baptism, Old Testament's Yave orders to kill women and children and to not feel sorry, treatment of women like 2nd class citizens, Paul's writings and the inconsistencies, the dogmatic statements made in the WT, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. And, then when I started reading about "apostacy" in the WT, I realized something was really wrong - it really sealed it for me.

When I approached my husband, who was an elder, about my concerns that the GB was self appointed and that there was absolutely nothing to back up their claim, he tried to "help" me. But a few weeks later, his own doubts after having been an elder and observed that the a**hole with the strongest personality, if he happens to be the P.O., makes the decisions, and that there was never any evidence of god's spirit on these meetings or decisions.

35

Were you afraid of "apostates"?

by everchangingworld in

jw
friends

i remember hearing rumblings of a few that had gone "apostate" and feeling absolute dread of the dark world they had stepped into.

i would re-double my studying efforts.

to me, "apostates" had gone over into the "dark side".

everchangingworld

I never peeked at an "apostate" site until after I was 100% sure from my own research in the WT publications and bible only that the GB was self-proclaimed and that the religion was false.

And... Even after that, I remember my heart pounding hard as I finally brought myself to google the words "jehovah's witnesses".

I can relate to the Star Wars stuff.

35

Were you afraid of "apostates"?

by everchangingworld in

jw
friends

i remember hearing rumblings of a few that had gone "apostate" and feeling absolute dread of the dark world they had stepped into.

i would re-double my studying efforts.

to me, "apostates" had gone over into the "dark side".

everchangingworld

I remember hearing rumblings of a few that had gone "apostate" and feeling absolute dread of the dark world they had stepped into. I would re-double my studying efforts. To me, "apostates" had gone over into the "dark side". I felt like life as a JW was so good and pure. Never in a million years would I have imagined what it actually wa like on the "other" side!

I was actually happy my entire life as a JW. Sure, there were some challenges, but I lucked out with having loving JW parents and friends. Only there came a point when I could no longer ignore the hypocrisy and lack of logic of the teachings. Then, I became extremely unhappy, and I finally had to face my doubts and do some honest research despite fear of what I knew I might find.

A year later on the "dark" side, it's actually not too bad! It was brutal having to face the fact that my life had been built on a lie, and that all my sacrifices had been for nothing, lifelong friendships evaporated in a matter of day, but after mourning the losses, life goes on. There are some good days and some bad days, but, overall, I'm just as happy (and having more fun) as a non-jdub that I was as a die-hard, wide-eyed, 100% believing Jdub.

Cheers to you all.

13

walking and hiking.

by zeb in

i walk a lot for health and i have never met a negative walker..

everchangingworld

LOVE hiking too. When I left the org last year and found myself with no friends and not knowing who I was, I signed up for a meetup group that went hiking in the mountains (great group of non-negative folks), and I believe that it did more for my happiness/mental health/physical health than anything else could have at that time.

Unfortunately, I slipped on ice on one of them, and now I get excruciating pain anytime I go downhill. Even with hiking poles.

41

does anyone feel messed up sexually because of being brought up as jw? like you have missed out, etc?

by johnjones3210 in

hiya,.

i'm new to this forum but just wanted to talk to somebody about this.. i was brought up as a jw and left just over a year ago.

i'm now 26 and feel messed up sexually.

everchangingworld

I can relate entirely. How long have you been out? I feel like things are starting to normalize for me (just starting my second year out), but my first year out I felt immense curiosity over EVERYTHING that the JWs had demonized. Nothing has gotten me into huge trouble yet, as time went on I realized a lot of it is really no big deal.

But I do feel like I missed out on a lot of fun!! Now I'm grown up, and, while the JW pressures/guilt is gone, there are still societal expectations. And regardless of curiosities and the occasional anger over what I've missed out, satisfying them at the cost of my current relationship is not worth it.

26

If you have had the CO or DO over for a meal...

by A question in

jw
friends

how long were they able to stay?

what conversation or other things did you do together?.

everchangingworld

When I was in my early twenties, bright eyed pioneer with the end just around the corner, my mouth watered when the CO and wife came around. It was such a "privilege" to have these self sacrificing spiritual giants in my home for a few hours. (eye roll).

In later years, I saw that they were just people. Some COs seemed like normal people with normal interests, suffering through this insane life, while others could only talk about International conventions and annual meetings. One CO wife and I watched movies and went for manicures the week they stayed with us. I even think the movie was R rated in the USA, and they wanted to lend us a few pirated copies of other movies they liked.

I actually had my final wake up during my last CO visit. They were staying with us for the week.

12

China and North Korea rank Happiest Countries

by everchangingworld in

jw
friends

yep, says north korea.

according to a new happiness index, north korea ranks second after china, followed by cuba, iran and venezuela.

if you're wondering where america ranks, it's ranks at #203. .

everchangingworld

This "happiest people on earth!" message is one of the factors that kept me in for so long. I actually thought that happy "worldly" people must faking it by having lots of fun to distract themselves of how miserable they truly were without the JW fairytale.

27

Update on Mrs Obvious and myself

by Captain Obvious in

well it's been about 8 months since my final wake up.

as some may remember for my intro thread, i panicked and was way too aggressive at first with telling my wife all about this scam we're a part of.

she freaked, thinking satan had me for sure.

everchangingworld

I woke up on my 15th year of pioneering, my husband was pioneering too and an elder. I never thought he'd wake up, he used all the circular reasonings at first when I started talking to him about my issues with the Wt. I felt like I was going crazy.

I agree with all the posters. It's a time to be patient and to keep reassuring your mate of your love & support. I guess within the JW arrangement, there's the whole headship thing, so I went along with family study/meetings for a few months after waking up, but I used those opportunities to respectfully (LOL like a good submissive dub wife!) ask questions about why certain things were the way they were. Anyway, it worked! :) It was hard to be patient because I just wanted to move on with everything, but it was worth it. We both left for good less than a year later.

Good luck!

12

China and North Korea rank Happiest Countries

by everchangingworld in

jw
friends

yep, says north korea.

according to a new happiness index, north korea ranks second after china, followed by cuba, iran and venezuela.

if you're wondering where america ranks, it's ranks at #203. .

everchangingworld

Yep, says North Korea. According to a new happiness index, North Korea ranks second after China, followed by Cuba, Iran and Venezuela. If you're wondering where America ranks, it's ranks at #203.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/06/north-korea-global-happiness-index-china-happiest-place_n_871784.html

Sound familiar?

26

Did you feel guilty for not pioneering?

by brokethechain in

i started pioneering the month i finished high school, and never stopped until i awakened, 17 years later.

it seems like the entire time, there was so much emphasis on pioneering.

every field service meeting seemed to have a part that communicated the message that jehovah would zap us at the big a. or people would die because of us if we didn't have extenuating circumstances (i always translated as bad health or kids, but even then, there were always "examples" of the mom with 5 kids that was pioneering).

everchangingworld

Guilt was probably one of the reasons I stayed pioneering for so, sooo long. But, looking back, I can admit that I thought I was having a great time.

Everytime I had a great day (most of the time because of the social aspect since I had a few friends with a good sense of humour in our cong), it served as confirmation for me that Jeh. was blessing this work, blah blah. Whenever I had a bad day, hated service, it was confirmation that I was "slipping" spiritually, had to beef up my spiritual routine. Whenever I had a bad day at work, it was confirmation that the "world" was empty and had nothing to offer. Good day at work? Well that was Satan trying to trick me that the world had something to offer. And so I got stuck in the cycle.

When I hated service enough, and read enough articles about how super happy all the people that move where the need is great are, I figured that was my ticket to true happiness. The same cycle happened there. Some really fun days because of the adventure of being in a new culture was confirmation of Jeh's blessing, the bad days were because of this "system", and it continued until I woke up.