Well it's been about 8 months since my final wake up. As some may remember for my intro thread, I panicked and was way too aggressive at first with telling my wife all about this scam we're a part of. She freaked, thinking Satan had me for sure. I came on here, got plenty of advice, and have been taking it painfully slow ever since.
My wife and I both work shift work that keeps us from over half of the meetings... I think that helps a lot. I quit going in service early this year. I had to go out one day in June when my dad and in laws were out for a visit.. Most painful hour I've had in forever! Just not ready for that conversation with my dad about it yet. My mom was DF'ed in April, and won't talk to me because she's still mind controlled. I still hope to reach her.
My wife and I haven't talked nearly enough about my changes in belief, though I am constantly planting little seeds, and I am seeing them grow. She seems to be getting a more open-minded world view, very un-JW like. From the start she has made it clear that she loves me no matter what, and doesn't want any of this to damage our relationship... I am very thankful for that! She is truly an amazing woman. I can't wait to get her free of the Borg. I can't wait to see what she is really like without the cult! She even talks about what it will be like when we get old....
I've made an effort to be more loving and caring to her and everyone, and honestly... Our marriage is better than ever. I've also made good on my promise to her to research everything I could with an open mind, and leave no stone unturned. I can often be found in the kitchen with my bible, computer and big green notebook, reading away. It also helps that my morals and attitude haven't become more 'worldly'.
We finally had a good talk the other day, where she said she can tell I'm not lead by Satan like the org says, because my morals haven't changed. I not sure how that line of reasoning works, but I'm not gonna mess it up! She agrees with most of my views, but of course we don't talk much about doctrine. You don't talk doctrine with a cult member. She kept saying 'everyone's spirituality is between them and Jehovah' but doesn't see the harm in associating with JWs as the main form of worship. She obviously doesn't believe they are a destructive group, and still doesn't see how they're controlling. I'll work on that.. Somehow. She also doesn't believe that the FDS has been dishonest in their one-sided quote-mined articles. I wish I had compiled a list of examples. I'll do that this week.
I feel like I'm laying the groundwork, though a bit too slowly. My inactive-ness will bring the hounders around sometime, it can't be much longer. I want my wife at least partially on my side by the time that happens. I think for her the Cog Dis must be getting tough to deal with! She just can't bear the thought of losing friends and family.
I'm completely open for suggestions. Should I just keep it up, but a bit more aggressively? Or just drop a bombshell? I feel like the ideal time is running out before the shit hits the fan with the rest of the family and her cult self kicks back in.
For the many husbands and wives on here who managed to wake each other up... How am I doing? What was it that finally woke you up?
I appreciate all your input and advice, I lurk here everyday, and read most of the threads. I love this board! And look forward to the day when you all get to meet the beautiful Mrs Obvious. I WILL have a success story to share with you one day. Promise.