Hi Tro,
First off, welcome to the boards and hats off for keeping control of your mind.
Isn't amazing, this "friend" was there for you for 26 years even before you became a Witness. And now, she won't have anything to do with you. Maybe it was a ploy to lure you into their organization, I don't know. I'm not one to judge. But I do think it's a shame that she allowed the WTS to take such a beautiful friendship away from her, and you.
I agree that you sound like you have pent up anger. I myself am still working through it. I also DA'd myself, a year and a half ago. I have lost my mother, my younger sister, and I have missed watching my baby sister grow up and blossom into a pre-teen (due to the fact that I was inactive before I Da'd myself, and was DF'd for about 5 months just after I got married).
It is hard at first, to deal with God. I'm still working through that also. Esp. when you feel you have no one to talk to. When all those who were "close" will no longer speak or look at you. But be assured, you will find there are ones here who will listen patiently as you find your way out of the darkness and back into the light.
May I ask, where are you from? I enjoyed your illustrations and it sounded like things that were used often where I grew up. I grew up in Eastern Ky but am now living in NE Ohio.
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." ~ Matt. 5:6