More Wondering and Self doubt

by Vitameatavegamin 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • Vitameatavegamin

    Hello Friends, this is your Vitameatavegamin girl. By the way, don't forget to watch the I Love Lucy marathon on TV Land starting October 15th, it should be a hoot. 50th anniversary of the show.

    Anyway, lately I have been doing more thinking about everything. It seems my posts are always of a complaining nature and I feel like all I do is whine about all the rotten things that have happened to me as a JW. I think maybe at times I should lighten up as everyone in this world makes mistakes. Setting aside all the garabage, I really find myself questioning alot of the teachings of the JWs. But from a religious standpoint this is all I know. I feel other Churches do not have the truth- the Witnesses seem to have as close to it as I can find. But along with what I agree with, there is so much I dont.

    I want to make it through Armageddon. I do want a new world with no suffering or death. I really believe from my heart in these things. I am afraid constantly. There is this nagging doubt that I am not doing the right thing. What if God expects us to preach about the last days? What if meetings are our only lifeline when the end comes? I know there are many out there that do not even belive in God anymore. But I firmly believe that this is not all there is for us. I think something better is in the future. I just want to know that I am doing the right things. I try my hardest to live by Bible standards, I consider myself to be a Christian. But the Bible does say that is not for man to judge us. Only God can read hearts. I guess Witnesses feel you have to go through the Elders for your worthiness. I dont know, I feel so confused. Is there anyone else out there going through what I am?? Please let me know your thoughts.

    Thanks so much!


  • openminded

    Hey Vita-mind if I ask where you from? If the U.S.A., which part? How old are you and how long have you been a Witness? A little background would be helpful to understand where you are coming from. -OM

  • SixofNine

    Sorry for your distress. I suggest you take a critical, logical look not only at religion, but also at the Bible. As Jesus said, "the truth will set you free", although it is not likely that you will see Jesus in the same old way after putting some critical thought into it.

    In any case, rest assured that you can break free from the worry, guilt, and anxiety that come from unfounded beliefs.

  • Makena1

    Vita - so many of us hear can relate to what you are saying. Trust me, it takes time to sort things out. You sound like a thinking, caring person - you will be just fine.

    There is a lot of research you can do - have you read Ray Franz' books. It really helped me with some of the nagging doubts you have. Remember too, that their are a lot of sincere people out there who will never be reached with God's word, or given a complete "witness". Will a loving Creator just wipe them out? I cannot believe that.

    On the other hand, the org and its henchmen use a lot of scare tactics, and blackmail to shame you into submission. Compare that to the way Jesus taught in the Gospels.

    Warm regards,
    in for 43 years, 4th generation (on my mom's side), glad to be a "freethinker"

  • Vitameatavegamin

    To open Minded,

    Been a Jw since I was 9 years old, baptized since I was 14. I am 32 years old.

  • Vitameatavegamin

    To Makena1,

    Thanks for your words of encouragement. I would not like to think that a loving God would wipe out people like that either. But what about the great flood in Noah's day? God wiped out Women and children during that flood. So why would he not do it again??

    Just wondering.


  • jst2laws

    One of the greatest steps in spiritual growth, for me, was realizing there are no absolute answers to all questions as the WT society asserts. You seem to be living in the agony of fears and guilts that are remnants of WT teachings.

    You said:
    I want to make it through Armageddon. I do want a new world with no suffering or death. I really believe from my heart in these things. I am afraid constantly. There is this nagging doubt that I am not doing the right thing. What if God expects us to preach about the last days? What if meetings are our only lifeline when the end comes?

    What you want, such as: “a new world with no suffering or death” is not the thinking of a bad person who deserves to die at “Armageddon” . This the thinking of a person in harmony with God’s thoughts, the “living systems theory”, the “law of love” or whatever your ‘spirit’ calls it. These are thoughts that are in harmony with God, and everything Jesus had to say. You said you “believe from my heart” so continue. Not only can no one fault you for such beliefs but these are the teachings of Jesus Christ. Whoever He was, He had it right and you do as well.

    Then you said: “There is this nagging doubt that I am not doing the right thing”. Where is this from? What mere humans keep telling you? I think Paul was right. There remain “Faith, Hope, and Love, but the greatest of these is Love”. Guilt over “God expects us to preach about the last days” is not valid. It is imposed guilt by men who do not understand the message of the Christian Scriptures nor the meaning of LOVE. You are on the right road. Do not doubt it, and do not let others impose guilt or fear on you.


  • tdogg

    I understand you completely vitameg. I have had that same feeling for over ten years now. It fades away from time to time but it is always there. You have the right to complain about your situation with the org. Belive me here you find people that understand.
    You must realize that you have lived your life for so many years forming a belief system around certain percieved truths. If you find that those percieved truths are not valid then you whole belief system falls apart.
    It takes time to rebuild that system incorporating the new facts that you have accuired. No one here is going to have the answer for you. That is what we all must find for ourselves. But it's helpful to know that others know exactly what you are going through.

  • Sozo

    I too was very scared and wondering what would become of me during the "end times". I figured all my sins would come to haunt me and most likely God would strike me dead. What really brothered me was my kids.......

    What I would like to share with you is that Jesus can take that fear and worry from you. All you need to do is confess to Him that He is Lord and Savior - ask Him into your heart and he will. Once you do that all your sins will be forgotten and erased. Most importantly, you will be adopted into God's family and when Christ returns you will go to heaven and not be among the tribulation.

    The JWs teachings of God's Word is soooooo twisted and denies the importance of who Jesus is.

    If you are wanting to know who God is get ahold of a bible that is non JW and begin reading Matthew through Revelation. The book of John describes Jesus and His purpose.

    No church, religion, pastor, elder, family can speak for you before God nor can they save a person. Get informed and read the Word for yourself - God will reveal himself to you.

    Email me if you would like to discuss further.

  • openminded

    Guilt is a tool.

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