Posts by Sentinel

14

New Member / Introduction

by ex_Watchtowerite_hubby in

jw
friends

i am not a current, nor former member of the jw's, but my wife was one for four years.

also, my mom has been one for over 20 years.

i did attend several meetings with her, and prompty fell asleep each time.

You have an interesting story, and from another viewpoint. Obviously you are very dedicated to your wife, to have endured so much right along with her. I'm so glad she is "out" now and feeling more emotionally stable.

Your wife was able to see the organization for it's true colors. Your mom, on the other hand, is still "in". The only thing you can do is show her a great deal of love and concern, and try not to let her "lifestyle" and "restrictions" weigh on you. No matter how old she is, she might really be thinking about things already. Obviously, she is aware of what your wife has gone through.

It is very sad, but so true, that people with serious emotional struggles, that become involved in a cult, are tramatized even further through it's self-destructive process.

It gets my stinger up sometimes:

It's so sad for those of us on the outside, seeing the borg for what it really is. We might be able to get a few good points across, but basically, we just have to set back and allow our loved ones make the choices they do for their own lives. That's what it really is--their choice. If we say too much about the borg, then they are all the more protective. Perhaps on this forum you will learn some helpful suggestions. We are all friends here.

I admire you for your devotion and dedication to your family. You certainly aren't alone in your struggles. Hope to see you posting again.

Sentinel

16

Watchtower's Dangerous Game

by metatron in

jw
friends

hardly a week passes without some story of a witness who is suddenly.

enlightened as to the real nature of the organization.

happens to an old-timer, it's very sad.

Sentinel

Just as the old saying goes, "they made their bed, now they have to sleep in it". They are going to hold the organization together with all their might, anyway they can. Becoming even more restrictive and controlling is just one way. If something happens to their publishing company, they will blame it on Satan. Or,.....these darn apostates out here on the net, infecting the sheep!

I have genuiene empathy for those who are so full of fear, that even after finding out they might have been misled, they continue to do as they always have. There is one in my family who relys on whatever an Elder tells her. If she questions something, they tell her how she should think, and so she does. She told me recently "the truth is all I have". I let her have her faith and her hope, because it is her life.

To a large extent this is true of many people all over the world that make up the millions of people that the organization controls The majority can't let go of their own accord, because they are terribly insecure and afraid. They have to self confidence, thanks to the mind-conditioning of the borg. They cannot imagine life without the organization.

I'm so thankful to be free of such mind control, arent' you? I can think for myself. I can have an opinion. Who says we are apostates here?

Karen (This is what we need here, some cool! It is 99 degrees with heat index of 108)

69

Who Here Believes in God?

by The_Bad_Seed in

jw
friends

personally, i do not believe god ever has or ever will exist.

i have my reasons -- i guess i could be considered an agnostic, rather than an athiest.

i was curious to see what the larger part of the former borg community believed, now looking from the outside in, rather than the opposite.

Sentinel

Ummmmm Which god?

There are so many. Yahweh was just one. Anyone can be a god, as long as there is someone who is gonna bow down and worship. And, even "things" can be gods.

IMHO, I am happy just believing that the god we all learned about in JW's simply does not exist in the way they conceive "him" to be. I think the "religious" concept of God throughout the world is incorrect.

Our creators in the universe probably are very curious about how we humans have managed to conjure up all these different gods over the history of mankind, and battled against one another trying to see who is the best. I'm sure the reality is nothing at all like mankind makes it appear. We have been dupped. I rarely look to the the bible for any concrete solutions. It was written by man, to control man, and so it has to a large extent. Just a history book, filled with the stories of man, the dreams of man--and in many cases, not even that accurate.

I believe that we aren't alone and we haven't been abandoned. I'm comfortable with that. My belief is that we were created by beings we cannot even conceive of, and implanted with "souls" that belong to them; and that the universe is full of various forms of creations on different levels. Hopefully one day very soon, the mystery will be solved.

Karen

51

Explain this then

by Legendary U.2.K. in

(quote, messiah christ jesus) - "but of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but "my father only" <--that's proof that christ is not god, cause if christ was infact god,'dont you think he would know about the coming of his kingdom, also christ said" my father only" , um he said my father, therefore christ is the son of god, infact !!

!christ prayed to god!!

!<---you cant ignore that.. all this cometh str from the bible, and the bible tongues has/been change, but no the words, everything is true.. so prove me wrong, um you cant, so pay attention....

Sentinel

IMHO, having a one-sided conversation with anyone is the pits. It's a form of rejection when you don't get a reply. Silence makes a statement, and It hurts. The rejection and abandonment after you've been df'd--is worse than the pits. Sort of like the phone calls I used to make to mom when I was "out". I'd just had a baby, and a bad case of the blues. It took me a long time to get up the courage, but I finally broke down and phoned her. I was in a desolate place of depression. She answered "hello". When I said "mom, I just wanted to hear your voice", she cooly said "you know I can't talk to you", and hung up on me.

Hopefully, in addressing our pleadings to the expanse of creation, we might reach our universal parents, but it's still one-sided. When I was a JW, my prayers were not answered, and they were some of the most heartwrenching pleadings. I thought I needed to "try harder", to "do more". I think many times, if our prayers are "answered", it's perhaps because we have "dumped" out all our concerns, and can concentrate on a good ending or solution to a problem all by ourselves. Bottom line is, how can we know for certain?

It's a long shot, but If Jesus did it, then maybe it's not totally inconceivable. But, praying a certain way, in a certain place, certain time, head covered, unclovered--geesh, I can't accept that. These days, to me, Prayer is just a thoughtful question or expression, a thank you, a remark or statement--a plea for guidance and direction, whatever. Although I'd like to receive the answers to some of my prayers, I figure the creators know the whole picture of life here on earth, and so if something good happens as a result of praying, then that's great, but most times I use prayer as a sort of release of whatever I'm feeling. At least it's not quite as bad as the reality of up-front rejection by humans.

Karen

24

And I thought I didnt have any.........

by SpiceItUp in

jw
friends

as the general rule i don't scare easily and i am always looking into the unknown corners.

i like the creepy and spooky.

spiders and snakes dont freak me out either.

Sentinel

Hi Spice,

Wow, the names of some of these Phobias! I think I would get a Phobia about trying to pronounce them.

The ones you listed for yourself-- I have those as well. I used to suffer so needlessly with all these "pressures". Over the years, through a determined self improvement resolve , I've been able to keep them in "check", and get them "off my back". They can be mighty weights to carry around.

But, I know they are still with me, right beneath the surface...and every now and then, I'm wrestling with one.

This is very interesting. Thanks for posting it.

Karen

4

NIGHTMARES

by Scorpion in

.

http://www.bigwig.net/knots/nightmares/home.htm#list

the 21chapters of the book is fast reading and well worth the time.. scorpion

Sentinel

The information on the site really took me down memory lane, of the horror variety. During lunch break, I zoomed in on Chapter 3--especially the "list" as structured wonderfully on pages six through eight. Excellent work!

This is going to be especially helpful to me today. It has come at the most appropriate time. I have a casual friend at work, and she and I have discussed religion during a couple of our conversations, as she has been very curious about my joy and happiness. She really seemed to want my input. She did not know that I was ever involved with JW's. About two weeks ago, she found out in one of our conversations. Since then she has been requesting information from me on a frequent basis. I did not want to get into her personal life, but felt she must have a pretty significant reason to probe me for JW information

This morning I learned her dilema. She was all set to marry this fellow--but he had suddenly become quite interesting in JW's, having begun a regular home Bible Study. He told her last night that he had "found the truth", and that all she had to do was marry him, and they would have a life "made in heaven". She came running to me to tell me that when he told her that, she told him that if he was serious about this change (which he is), then she could not marry him. She tried to give him some of the information that I had given her, and he refused to hear any of it.

She is so very happy that she found out in time. Prior to our conversations, she had only heard a tid bit here and there about JW's. (I'm not on a mission to speak about JW's and my experiences--that is behind me. I told her that religion is a very personal choice, but she kept asking me, so I told her of my experiences.) She feels that I was meant to give her this information and she is so grateful. She feels like she's been "saved from making a horrible mistake". And, bottom line, she was really in love with this person and had known him a long time.

I am going to share the information that I mentioned above, with her, and she can use it when they meet again this weekend. He is really presuring her. But, she is standing her ground. She wants to see if she can make him see "the light". She is profoundly thankful to me for giving her the facts, and I thank you for this additional source.

Love and Light,

Sentinel

4

NIGHTMARES

by Scorpion in

.

http://www.bigwig.net/knots/nightmares/home.htm#list

the 21chapters of the book is fast reading and well worth the time.. scorpion

Sentinel

Scorpion,

Thank you for posting this very interesting site. I have already gone into some of the chapters and printed out several portions that were of peticular interest to me. Now I can read and review your work at my leisure. I appreciate your efforts to share this information. It is a loving and kind thing to do.

I hope that you are now totally free, and able to enjoy living this beautiful life.

Love and Light,

Sentinel

44

what kind of addict are you?

by Incense_and_Peppermints in

jw
friends

you are addicted to life!

you are outgoing and content with yourself.

you make friends easily and have high goals to aim for.

Sentinel

Incense,

I think I am addicted to this JW Forum....

Until I really began using my new home computer in May, I had no idea that a site like this even existed. I found it all by myself one Saturday, just out of curiosity. My heart pounded. My eyes were fixed. Minutes turned to hours. Yep.....I'm addicted alright!

Now I have someplace to go, where a common bond is shared. Only by having the "JW experience" can one ever truly understand what we've been through. My husband is the sweetest guy, but he has just never really understood. He has always felt so helpless in trying to "fix" all the problems relating to that time period in my life. He is so happy for me now, because I have my own place to go to, and share my stories and to learn some new insight from others. It has made a big difference in our life.

I am also addicted to joy and happiness since finally becoming "free". Some have tried to bring me down from this high, by warning me of my impending demise at Armegeddon, but they have not succeeded.

I'm a hopeless case...

Karen/Sentinel

Edited by - sentinel on 2 August 2002 12:40:16

23

Grieving

by Swan in

jw
friends

it's been about two weeks since i came here.

i've been having a lot of depression and nightmares concerning my family and the jws.

ghastly visions of bloody mayhem and mutilation, not only of me, but also my husband and my little dog.

Sentinel

Tammy,

You are very welcome here. You are among people who care and understand. You might "feel" like you are an "ugly duckling", but you are a beautiful swan.

((((HUGS))))

I've been where you are now. I've been where you came from, in a different way. What you need now, more than ever, is the support of friends. You have that here in the Forum. We understand your heartache, your losses--your great emptiness. We are all at different stages ourselves, but moving forward away from fear and guilt, and it feels wonderful.

There is hope! It gets better! One day at a time!

Take care of yourself. Be good to yourself. You're on the right road. Keep reading. Ask questions. Respond to posts. I will look for you.

Love and Light,

Karen/Sentinel

48

Does Ray Franz owe us an apology?

by sleepy in

jw
friends

(not, ray franz owes us an apology) .

(ok lets add this on)do those who are or were governing body members have a greater amount of responsability than witnesses in general?at what point do we stop being victims and become instigaters?

this may have been discussed before but i'm not sure.so sorry if it has.

Sentinel

All of us are imperfect, and have more recently learned, since escaping the borg, that "being human", and doing "human things" is natural for all of us. We can now relax and live this wonderful life, without all the baggage of being tied to the wrong religion. We can strive to remove the guilt and fears that were so much a part of daily life.

In all these things, Ray Franz is no different from the rest of us. He was an innocent victim too. I believe we each need to accept responsibility for our own lives. Most of us here have, or are in the process of doing just that.

IMHO, Ray Franz was fortunate to have gotten out with his own sanity in tact. To say that he owes anyone else anything regarding the JW hypocrisy, simply because he was a member of the governing body, seems inappropriate.

He didn't have to write those books, but he did. He could have changed his name and disappeared, but he chose not too.

Love and Light,

Karen/Sentinel

Edited by - Sentinel on 1 August 2002 15:33:49