New Member / Introduction

by ex_Watchtowerite_hubby 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • ex_Watchtowerite_hubby

    Hello, I'm a new member.

    I am not a current, nor former member of the JW's, but my wife was one for four years. Also, my mom has been one for over 20 years. I did attend several meetings with her, and prompty fell asleep each time. My wife was mortified at the time, because she thought I might have started snoring (I'm a snorer).

    My wife is too shy to post on here yet, but this is her story:

    She became ensnared in this cult four years ago because she was depressed and wanted meaning in her life. In a relatively short time, however, she became dissilusioned with these people due to all the contradictions, and just the general bad and condescending behaviour of a large majority of these people. Things like mind control, inflicting guilt, non-scriptural policies, etc. I won't go into all the myriad number of shortcomings of this org, since they have all pretty much been described and elaborated upon in great detail already by you good people.

    Anyway, the situation got so bad that she was hospitalized 3 times with major depression. All of this was caused by their unrelenting mind control, uncompromising policies, putting her down, and belittling her for her imperfections and not being as perfect to their doctrines as they (elders) expected her to be.
    The last time she was hospitalized, the police decided to take her away because she was going all haywire and calling them (the police) satan and a bunch of other crazy stuff.

    I am glad to say that she is now in full health (mentally), after having definitively broken her bonds to this cult. But it was not an overnight thing. She started by questioning the watchtower policies by researching the Bible herself, and picking out contradictions. But yet she still considered herself a JW. I then encouraged her to surf the internet for info on this org(WT). And that's where her break with this organization had its final break. And it's all due to websites like this one that did it! So thank you very much for exposing the real truth about the 'truth' of the WT society. If it wasn't for the internet, I don't know what would have transpired. She probably would never have gone to the library to look things up on this cult. So I am very grateful for this website and others like it.

    Now, if only I could get my mom away from this life-sucking slave life of being a Watchtowerite!!? Alas, she is probably too old now (mid-sixties) to change her ways. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do? She is not altogether a WT fanatic and sees that there are many things wrong with this org; she especially chafes under all the demands the org places upon her time and her aging body - she says that if the "new system" is going to be like this (meaning the demands of the current org), then we're all wretched.

    My wife still considers herself a Jehovah God witness, but not a Watchtower witness.

  • johnathanseagull

    Hi Hubby and welcome, just to let you know you are not alone


  • Robdar

    Hello ex_Watchtowerite_hubby,

    Welcome to the board. It is good to hear that this site is helping your wife recover. Even though it sounds as if your wife suffers depression without the aid of the Watchtower, I am sure she is much better without these people always looking over her shoulder.

    As far as your mother goes, there is no need to worry about her. It sounds as if she is starting to see the "truth" about the organization. She will leave on her own time. The last thing you should do is push her towards making this decision. We all do what we want to do until we no longer want to do it. Just continue to be sympathetic and supportive towards your mother but don't complain too much about the organization. This can make her uncomfortable and force her to defend her religion against your perceived insults.

    Again, welcome to the board. Tell your wife for us that she is welcome here also. We look forward to hearing from her.


  • The Alchemist
    The Alchemist

    Welcome to the board. We have something in common I also would sleep through the meetings but I learned to do it with my eyes open. Had some interesting dreams. Gillagan's Island mostly, Ginger, MaryAnn and Mrs. Howl.

  • onacruse

    Robyn, well said, and to that I can only add:

    Welcome, hubby!


  • BugParadise

    Welcome ex-watchtowerite hubby and wife :)


  • Gopher

    Welcome e-w-h! I hope you'll enjoy the interaction on this board.

    So sorry to hear what your wife went through. The effect that this harsh environment can have on people is almost surreal. I'm so glad she was able to get unshackled from the JW mindset.

    As far as your mother is concerned, the saying on this board is that people generally "come out" when they're ready to. They won't even "search" until something stunningly bad shocks them. (Stunningly bad crap happens all the time among the JW's, but their saying is "wait on Jehovah, he'll fix everything".) Glad your wife followed your ideas and didn't insist on "the organization, right or wrong".

    See you around!

  • Dismembered

    Welcome EX !

  • Sentinel

    Welcome to this Forum,

    You have an interesting story, and from another viewpoint. Obviously you are very dedicated to your wife, to have endured so much right along with her. I'm so glad she is "out" now and feeling more emotionally stable.

    Your wife was able to see the organization for it's true colors. Your mom, on the other hand, is still "in". The only thing you can do is show her a great deal of love and concern, and try not to let her "lifestyle" and "restrictions" weigh on you. No matter how old she is, she might really be thinking about things already. Obviously, she is aware of what your wife has gone through.

    It is very sad, but so true, that people with serious emotional struggles, that become involved in a cult, are tramatized even further through it's self-destructive process.

    It gets my stinger up sometimes:

    It's so sad for those of us on the outside, seeing the borg for what it really is. We might be able to get a few good points across, but basically, we just have to set back and allow our loved ones make the choices they do for their own lives. That's what it really is--their choice. If we say too much about the borg, then they are all the more protective. Perhaps on this forum you will learn some helpful suggestions. We are all friends here.

    I admire you for your devotion and dedication to your family. You certainly aren't alone in your struggles. Hope to see you posting again.


  • desertflower

    welcome to the board. So sorry about the pain that your wife has been through. But so glad that she had you to
    help her and to find this site. It has been a real blessing to most of us that have questioned the org. Tell your mother
    that she is never to old if she wants to know if her religion teaches the truth of the Bible. She just has to want to know.
    Do her own research. But do it with her bible. I'm 69 and it is been hard but it is getting easier everyday.
    Just don't push her with talking against the org. they want to put the brick wall up. So hope your family makes it out.

Share this