Thanks guys :)
Abiblestudent, i havent actually, but i really should! i know all about BITE, currently reading crisis of conscience.
The beheadingless birthday sounds like it would be a sweet country song ;)
independenthinker
JoinedPosts by independenthinker
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15
Finally ready
by independenthinker inok so i havent posted on here in over a year, i think i posted like a few times, then disappeared.. has anyone else like just shut it out?
like i joined here as soon as i found out, then after a month or two i just didnt want to think about it; i had my final exams, elders creeping about, my mom got crazier, i was starting college, other kinda issues, which made me just blot everything i learnt about my religion out.
well he hurt me too, oh i would give all my blood to you.
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15
Finally ready
by independenthinker inok so i havent posted on here in over a year, i think i posted like a few times, then disappeared.. has anyone else like just shut it out?
like i joined here as soon as i found out, then after a month or two i just didnt want to think about it; i had my final exams, elders creeping about, my mom got crazier, i was starting college, other kinda issues, which made me just blot everything i learnt about my religion out.
well he hurt me too, oh i would give all my blood to you.
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independenthinker
Ok so i havent posted on here in over a year, i think i posted like a few times, then disappeared.
Has anyone else like just shut it out? like i joined here as soon as i found out, then after a month or two i just didnt want to think about it; i had my final exams, elders creeping about, my mom got crazier, i was starting college, other kinda issues, which made me just blot everything i learnt about my religion out. im now 19, and in the past 3 months i started lurking here again, also researching stuff like comparitive mythology, the history of jehovah/yahweh, and historical accuracy of the bible, all without the depression and internal conflict i felt at the start. i feel like i was shocked, then in a state of denial, and now im starting to accept it. Did anyone else go through those stages?
One big thing that helped me through this was songwriting/poetry. i got into college, music college, and started speaking to a free college counsellor, and also regular one on ones with a songwriting lecturer. i told him about my fear of writing about some things, (like if i wrote about TTATT it could out me), he told me to not be afraid and that it would probably be my best work. i had written bits and pieces but put none to music, or played them to anyone. i played him some stuff and he said just lie! so thats been pretty theraputic for me, and ive been writing more and more. maybe one day ill have a whole album dedicated to leaving JWdom!
Unfortunately im still going but im moving out soon, and shall never step foot inside a hall again! ive been worming in little doubts with my mother about the org. For instance, last weeks WT(is your teaching up to date) i flat out told her i didnt believe the overlapping generation teaching, after a bit of debate she just said "yeah, im not sure its quite accurate" so there may be hope! she knows my "love for the truth" has cooled off, and has stopped being so psychotic about certain things. However, i still fear for her mental health should i leave, after finding what could be construed as a suicide text when my 2 siblings left saved as a draft on her phone.
Also, my girlfriend, 3 years together now, has been so amazing and been there when i needed her the most. without her, i never would have got in trouble, been labelled an "independent thinker", and found mental and psychological freedon. needless to say, she knows the nasty side of the WT, as do several of my new college friends. its been amazing starting over without the cult tag on me in college!
So yeah, sorry this is so long, and i dunno if anyone even remembers me, but i hope people can get some positive vibes from my story. im in a really good place now, and things can only get better. i know that i still have a bit to go, but the time will come, and even though things have been crap, at least i have writing material! i Cant post the song on this, as it will reveal my identity, but i wanna share some lyrics that i wrote, its written from an outsiders(My girlfriends) perspective looking in at my life in the truth. and this board wont let me make the structure nice :(
"Was your mother, afraid to be alone? Was your father, ruler of the throne? Did he hurt you? Well he hurt me too, oh i would give all my blood to you.
Oh doctrine, that beat you down, and those verses, that pound pound pound, well you'd knock, on saturdays, who would ever wanna live that way?
So dont settle, for less than truth, and i will give all my blood to you, so dont settle, for less than truth, and i will give all my blood to you.
Does it matter, where we go? Hidden letters, beneath floorboards, hidden in truth, and then we'll see, oh how can I believe in you Yahweh.
So don't settle for less than truth, and i will give, all my blood to you. So don't settle, for less than truth, and i will give, all my blood to you. Because paradise. . .it's being close to you."
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lconvention lonliness
by independenthinker ingrowing up i've always felt so lonely at conventions.
seeing the other kids with 2 parents to spend the weekend with always made me cry as a kid.
it was, and still is, a really lonely existence.
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independenthinker
i have to, you wouldn't believe the guilt. . . and im being quizzed by the elders anyway bc of worldly gf, not going would look suspicious! i should write sparlock on my name tag ;)
has anyone else felt the war. . lonliness of gods loving organization at the conventions/assemblies?
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10
lconvention lonliness
by independenthinker ingrowing up i've always felt so lonely at conventions.
seeing the other kids with 2 parents to spend the weekend with always made me cry as a kid.
it was, and still is, a really lonely existence.
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independenthinker
growing up i've always felt so lonely at conventions. seeing the other kids with 2 parents to spend the weekend with always made me cry as a kid. it was, and still is, a really lonely existence. as if i wasn't already socially impeded being from a divided household, i had no peers in my cong but my siblings, and now im the last one standing. i just sit in my seat, and go to the car for lunch and sleep. it made me feel so ugly, and weird, and disgusting to see all the "good" jw teens smiling and laughing and joking :( im really looking forward to mine this weekend. . .
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15
this is horrible!
by independenthinker inthis is just sickening, no respect for other human beings!.
on a jw facebook forum .
original post: --- ------: while riding with my work mate he plays podcast the whole time and i learned that the gay community is becoming powerful and huge like an infection!
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independenthinker
this is just sickening, no respect for other human beings!
on a jw facebook forumOriginal post: --- ------: while riding with my work mate he plays podcast the WHOLE time and i learned that the gay community is becoming powerful and huge like an infection! there is no doubt we are living in the end times! scary
some responses:
--- ------: Infection is right. . the so called gay lifestyle is an sickening abomination to mankind. its no wonder this system will have its end. this is disgusting. . .
----- - -----: it would be easy to vision a scenario in which they persuade the governments to turn on religion. hence the start of GT. . .
--- ------: (in response to comment above) i thought it would be gangs or armys, not fruits!
--- ----- -: rotten fruits thats for sure, with flies surrounding them!
--- -----: im so happy to be in the truth and not be fooled by the worlds stupidity!
--- --- ----: i can truly say WE ARE SAFE: warning signs: if you start to talk with a lisp and flap your hands when you talk seek the truth quickly! you are infected!!
Jehovahs loving people for sure! i have a few gay friends and all through my life its bothered me how the religion seen them as basically unsavable. . :(
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9
coping mechanism
by independenthinker inhad a meeting with elders today.
got wasted at a party with worldly friends to take my mind off things.
anyone else use drink as a coping mechanism?.
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independenthinker
i have never been to a witness party where alcohol was present!
they compared my worldly girl to a disease, and then we had a really long debate on salvation and i told them that i believe god is a million times more merciful than you want me to believe
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coping mechanism
by independenthinker inhad a meeting with elders today.
got wasted at a party with worldly friends to take my mind off things.
anyone else use drink as a coping mechanism?.
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independenthinker
had a meeting with elders today. . . . got wasted at a party with worldly friends to take my mind off things. anyone else use drink as a coping mechanism?
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Love & Living up to Dedication = Serving Abroad & Not Going to University (July 15, 2012 WT)
by pirata inlooks like there's a new series, "they offered themselves willingly".
here's how it opens:.
a young brother in italy was under pressure.
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independenthinker
love how they say "your desire " as if its a given! i always switched off at articles like that. as if anyone truly wants to be a pioneer. . .
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independenthinker
has anyone else watched this? i thought it was really funny!
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What's the JW reaction to new 16 page mags????
by diamondiiz inif you've been to the meeting when the letter was read, what was jw reaction????
just curious if it was just another sign that the end is nearer or did any wake up for a second to realize the corporation is downsizing due to costs..
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independenthinker
my parents said it made sense to reduce costs. reaction was indifferent, i had to ask to get their thoughts, as it wasn't even brought up. speaker kept mentioning exciting times ahead"