ruderedhead

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Posts by ruderedhead

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  7

  What incident can you recall of been screwed over by a dubbie. My experience.

  by joe134cd in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  the one that i can recall, and although the dollar value wasn't high, it was the thought behind it that counted.

  a person who i thought was a good dubbie friend was a bit down on his luck.

  so i offered to take him out to lunch.

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  ruderedhead

  You go, Phizzy!
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  29

  Nephew going to bethel - seeking seed planting ideas

  by azor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have posted a handful of times so far.

  i am seeking some ideas to plant some seeds with my nephew before he goes to patterson.. a little about me and the going away party where i will have an opportunity to plant these seeds.

  i have a little freedom since i am the only relative that he is in communication with that spent some time at bethel.

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  ruderedhead

  I agree with OTWO, you probably have a better idea what you can/should say than anyone here.

  Obviously you have to be very careful, so find 1 small item you can get away with saying something about, and enjoy the rest of the evening with your family. Just remember to say it to him when you are alone. jwfact might be of some help.
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  40

  Here we go again. The next hate letter from our 2nd Son.

  by Still Totally ADD in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  yes it happen again with our youngest son.

  this last monday we got a letter from him telling us how unloving we are because we are no longer jw.

  cult and not had kids.

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  ruderedhead

  I am also sorry for your pain.

  When you write the letter, do you have a couple of scriptures you could insert showing a couple of wrong doctrines of the wt to help you back up your position that you know it's not the truth?

  Have a Merry Christmas, Still totally add! I hope you can enjoy what you do have for now.
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  17

  Ever try to contact local "inactive publishers"?

  by Sail Away in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i'm just wondering if anyone has ever tried to contact inactive or disfellowshipped jws in their area.

  there are many faders in our area.

  there is also a large born-in family that had many leave who were labeled as apostates.

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  ruderedhead

  Perhaps they just want to move on and leave all things jw behind.

  May I suggest that if you're trying to re-connect with people who you don't know if they want to go back or not, you not mention meetings or anything jw related? Just a simple "Hi, how are you, hope all is well"? A couple sentences about what you're doing. Maybe end with hope to talk to you sometime soon. Short & sweet. If you receive no response, move on. There is a world full of people who would like to know you!
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  14

  Finally Gave My First Anti-Witness After 11 Years

  by new light in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello one and all.. the local jws had a booth set up at my university today and something just came over me.

  i went to a computer, found a list of failed prophecies, printed and stapled it, and walked over to the middle aged woman and the 10-ish years old girl.

  the woman said "if you are interested in anything, take it for free.

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  ruderedhead

  Nicely done! We will listen when approached with sincerity & kindness vs. anger & accusations.
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  59

  How to wake up and reverse the trance???

  by J-DUBBED in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  how do you wake up someone taken from us by these screwed up people?.

  our son was hooked by a jw at the age of 25. within 3 months they were married and we never even new about it.

  he is now 29 and has nothing to do with his family(except his sister the odd time, when he needs something) of any freinds.. we are lost and have been for four years.. .

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  ruderedhead

  Umm, no ,J-DUBBED, as much as you resent your jw daughter in law, you cannot tell him you don't want to be in her presence.That will negate the apology in the email,and set off a shit storm from hell, my friend! You will lose him. She has the control here for now. She sleeps with him, she has his ear.

  You can ASK if just the 3 of you can have a chat right now, since it's been a while, and you would like to make things right with him first. Tell him you look forward to getting to know his wife better and would like to take them out to dinner in the next week or two,whenever it's good for them. Name a restaurant if you want, ask where they would like to go. Follow through.

  If he says no, she comes, accept it. Please do the reading on combatting cult mind control that others have recommended here before you meet, or at least as much as you can. That may help you avoid any mis-steps that will send him running again. You have 2 ears & 1 mouth for a reason. The first few times you meet, LISTEN. That will help you know where he's coming from. When you meet with them both, you should be able to see who's in control, and that should help you know how to proceed. Be kind, be accepting, he's an adult who has made an adult decision. With love and patience, you may be able to wakehim up, but you better know what your talking about. jw's are very good at cherry picking scripture and taking control of conversations, and threatening to stop them if "all you want to do is argue" meaning that you are able to show them something that contradicts their beliefs, and you have to know how to handle that.

  I am curious, tho, about the whole Easter Bunny/Santa thing. Did he still believe at 25? Shouldn't he have been over it by then?
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  22

  After Years of Silence My Father Reaches Out to Me

  by truth_b_known in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  brief history:.

  i was a born in.

  my parents were uber-dubs, but never worshipped the organization.

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  ruderedhead

  That is very good news! All the best!
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  20

  I need help

  by tiredroadie in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  im new here, and dont know much about jw, other than what im reading.

  i have my best friend who is having bible study in her home with 2 witnesses, and she is soaking it in.

  she is very defensive and is getting more and more closed off.

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  ruderedhead

  You're receiving some great advice on here from people who have gone through a lot. Are you yourself familiar with the Bible? The witnesses are very good at cherry picking scriptures to suit their doctrine of the moment. I will repeat what others have said and ask you to go to jwfacts.com. there is a wealth of information there. Use it SLOWLY in the form of asking questions as one eyejoe & jhine have suggested.

  Your friend is definately being love bombed, told that satan is using you to try and stop her study( "your friend means well, but doesn't have "the truth" as we do, satan is using him/her"). They will use cherry picked scriptures to try and show her they are right, the "true" religion, etc. Do you know exactly what they have taught your friend yet? If you do, maybe you could work on disproving some of that through the Bible first? Do your homework, know what you're talking about. Use jwfacts as well as other reputable sources.

  Do you know a pastor who is well versed in scripture who would be willing to sit down with both of you and go over some of the things they have told her, and discuss the scriptures involved? That may hold some weight.

  The fact that she is puling away is concerning. I hate to admit it, but I did that with the urging of the witnesses who would come to my home to study. I wish the resources that are available today were then, and that someone had used them to stop me. But the witnesses are taught how to be manipulative and kind of bullies, for lack of a better word. If she enjoys their company and the compliments they are no doubt giving her , they may threaten to stop coming if she questions them, telling her they aren't going to waste their time if she just wants to argue. Presenting them with facts that contradict what they are telling her is not considered discussion, it is considered arguing. Can you organize some social things to fill some time? Just a suggestion.

  You're going to get much good, sound advice on here from some who have been through the mill! You might want to read some of their stories. All the best to you as you try to help your friend! Remember to never be confrontational.
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  34

  OMG: WT legislating about fragances and common sense

  by pixel in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  do they have to tell the r&f every little detail???.

  from the new wt:.

  what can be done to assist brothers and sisters who suffer from adverse reactions to fragrances?any who are sensitive to fragrances face a difficult challenge.

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  ruderedhead

  Blondie hit the nail on the head in her last sentence about those who are allergic at the kh, but apparently no other place! I had never heard of so many "allergies" as I heard of at the first kh I attended! Perfume, down, new carpet, chronic fatigue, you name it! There were a few public needs talks given on being sensitive to those with the allergies, and could people please refrain from wearing scents. I wore scented powder on occasion, and was in fs with a woman who had real (not really real, but real to her) scent allergies, and the woman who studied with me. Real allergy woman asked if I was wearing any scents, said she was allergic to my scent , was getting a headache, and couldn't go in fs with me. The other woman said she wondered if it was just her, that she had a splitting headache from my "scent" as well, and couldn't go out with me. The next day we were in fs in her van, I was in the back, and HER perfume, that I could smell all the way in the back, actually made me sick! I wasn't allergic, just hated the perfume. I said nothing. We all have several stories like that, I'm sure.

  As leaving quietly said, there are those with real allergies, but I found those were the ones that rarely complained. I think the others just wanted attention.
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  75

  My Parents have gone FULL CULT MODE! Having a job is SATANIC!

  by BU2B in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  to give a little background, my parents are in their late 50s.

  around a year ago, my elder dad got laid off from his job.

  he worked as a auto mechanic making ok money.

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  ruderedhead

  Wow! This is insane! Sounds like yo need to have a very serious conversation with the, letting them know that you are NOT their "provision", you're just keeping your own family's heads above water! Others have given what I beleive to be some very astute talking points, along with scripture and a very good analogy from walls.

  Can you find the scripture that been-there mentioned? If you can find that one, along with a couple others to make your point, maybe it will help. What about the one, I believe it is in Psalms(?), that speaks about all that a woman does?

  Hope you can wake them up fast! Maybe a flow chart of money in/money out, you ain't got none, you need some income, would help?

  Hope this works out for you!