ruderedhead

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Posts by ruderedhead

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  12

  Advice on being an enabler to my unbaptized JW son

  by marriedtoajw in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok i feel almost embarrassed coming to this board and asking advice about something that my common sence has already answered for me, but i hesitate because of possible fall out unique to jw issues.

  most of my posts on this board lately have been about my 21 year old son's involvment with the jw's encouraged by jw mom, both knowing i'm against what they teach.

  i've gotten some good advice on this board by some of you who answered a previous post of mine related to my concern of me being an enabler to my 21 year old son.

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  ruderedhead

  married, you already know the answer. You just need confirmation that you're doing the right thing, and I think you have received that here. You are in a very tough situation, and I feel for you.But you have to allow your son to become the man he is capable of becoming.I believe 2Thess. 3:10 might help you. Show it to your son. He must some day be able to support himself.I know there is a scripture that speaks to a man supporting his family, perhaps someone can help you with that one.

  His mother and her jw family are crippling him in order to get him into their religion. They don't see it that way, but that's what is happening. It's up to you, my friend. It will be hard on you. But at 21, living at home with no expenses, he should be able to pay his own way to an amusement park! Why isn't he embarrassed that he can't? Have you tried sitting down with him and mapping out a plan for his future? Where does he want to be in 5 years? 10? How will he accomplish those goals? Please tell your wife that she is not to give a grown man with no job, is not looking very hard for one, and who is not attending school any money! All the best to you!
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  11

  When all seems ok....

  by Tylinbrando in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  many of you know what has been transpiring with my daughter and the abuse she suffered for years at the hands of a congregation elder.

  the abuser is still incarcerated awaiting trial.. today she had a substitute teacher that reminded her of the abuser.

  there was a confrontation and she had a breakdown.

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  ruderedhead

  So sorry your precious daughter is going through this. I'll keep you both in my prayers.
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  38

  I think I've planted a seed!

  by OneDayillBeFree in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i could be wrong, but i can't help but be a bit optimistic.last night my parents and i had our "family worship night".

  i hate it, and i believe my mother does too.

  my dad only does it because he's an elder but last night even he was acting like he didnt want to do it.

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  ruderedhead

  Well played! Now please allow this to marinate for a few days in your Dad's head. Take this VERY slowly. He may talk to others at the hall about what he has discovered, and they may sway or intimidate him. Old light, new light crap.Wait on the organization. (Most would call it covering their butts!)

  Remember, this is the way of life your parents know, and you may just be rocking their world.No one likes to have beliefs they have held dear suddenly shown to be false. Baby steps. Please have other small questions ready for the next family night. I think your father just may do some investigating of his own. Please do NOT let them know you already know the truth any time soon. If you are patient, and play your cards well, you may all leave together!
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  42

  Leaving...

  by LouBelle in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just broke down in such an ugly cry at work.

  walked outside and just sobbed my guts out.

  i am so very unhappy here.

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  ruderedhead

  (((LouBelle))) You have to take care of your emotional health, or your physical health will suffer as well. You have been given some sage advice from some on here. Please try and get your ducks in a row before you hand in your resignation. That is, if you think you can bear it. I'm not talking about months, maybe just a week or two to line up your next job, even if it is a temp position, talk to creditors, etc. Hopefully the temp agency can place you in a job quickly that will be a better fit for you.

  Then, if possible, please get some professional help. I gather from some of your posts that you have been through the wringer. I think you carry that burden by yourself, and that can be a heavy load. You have been so kind to others on here, you are much needed and appreciated. Please allow a professional to help you if possible. Allow them to remove some of your burden, LouBelle. You deserve to be happy. Wishing you much happiness.

  rudered
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  17

  I just feel alone

  by joe134cd in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i just feel isolated and tired of the situation i am in.

  no witness visits, and this just makes me even more spiritually lethargic..

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  ruderedhead

  Joe, you're not isolated, you have everyone on this board. You can pm anyone and we will respond, and flipper has apparently given you his phone number. He seems like a great guy, so you might want to use that number.

  Is the weather nice where you live? Do you have the ability to get out and walk/bike/rollerblade? Get out there!

  What are your interests? Politics? Health? Gardening? Please try and find a group to join where there are people that share your interests and that will give you less of a feeling of isolation. That may help fill the social void you are probably feeling.

  Have you found a new spiritual home? If not, perhaps you could look for one. You will probably not find a perfect one, but I believe that filling your spiritual void will assist in lifting your spiritual lethargy. Many also are involved in the community, so they may have some type of program you would be interested in helping them with.

  Can you take a class through your Community education dept., or at the local community college? Hopefully you will find things that will fulfill you, and you can lose these feelings you are having. Feel free to pm me anytime! All the best to you!
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  56

  I wanted to punch this elder so bad!

  by OneDayillBeFree in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so i decided to attend the meeting last.

  since i haven't gone in about 2 weeks, and i leave as soon as it ends, and elder decided to corner me at the end.

  lately i've been through some very depressing family issues that are non-jw related so i haven't been my best at acting like i care about the org.

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  ruderedhead

  You handled yourself well. He is simply a smug jerk without much thinking ability (look at his responses), so having someone else do the thinking for him is right up his alley. I would screen my calls for a few weeks, and avoid the meetings for as long as possible. Take comfort in knowing you are the better man here. He is just not worth your wasting any emotions on.
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  15

  Ethnic language Congs. are closing here due to no young people!!!

  by Witness 007 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences
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  ruderedhead

  May I ask why you are calling it "the truth"? You know it isn't. Old habits die hard?
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  112

  So tired of life

  by LouBelle in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am so tired of waking up without hope.

  so tired of fighting one more day...i just want it to end as painless as possible.

  i truly don't have the willpower or strength anymore..

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  ruderedhead

  LouBelle, please call a professional right now! I don't know how the health system works in your country, but it sounds like you need to talk to someone immediately. Is there a hotline you could call? Please seek help now.

  I know there are things in your life you need to change from your posts here. Is there anyone at all that could help you start to make that happen? Even a very small change to start? Your post has me very concerned about your well being. You have given so many on here such sage advice. Please talk to a professional.
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  5

  Need encouragement

  by naazira in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  friends i need your encouragement to turn my back on the organization.

  i am feeling sad after telling my conductor that i will be changing to a new congregation.

  this is so far from the truth.

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  ruderedhead

  naazira, if you have been researching the wt, you know leaving is the right thing to do. If you have bipolar disorder, staying in is probably a really bad idea. I think it is the brainwashing and guilt doled out at the meetings/assemblies/conventions that is making you hesitate. We have all been there. It takes time. Don't worry about what you told the conductor. It's not like the wt hasn't lied to you, and you are doing what you need, causing the least amount of damage. Keep coming here for encouragement.

  Take care of yourself.
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  30

  WT: Train your kids to shut up - April 2013 OKM

  by aposta-Z in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  quote from april 2013 our kingdom ministry; available on here: http://jwleaks.org/ .

  " even if they are too young to understand everything that is discussed, children can be trained to remain awake and sit.

  quietly.

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  ruderedhead

  Jam, You are so correct, it is sick to beat kids for being normal! I remember an incident at one convention vividly. The venue used at the time was large and had no air conditioning. (The Silverdome in Pontiac, MI). It was hot as heck in there,everyone was hot and tired, and one Mom came into the restroom with a small child, maybe 3 or 4 years old, took her into a stall and beat the tar out of her, yelling at her for not sitting still and being quiet. The kid was sobbing and pleading with her to stop, saying she was sorry and she'd be good. Everyone just sat there and did/said nothing, including myself. I was livid, but I was pretty new, and was unsure if I should step in. Of course I should have! It breaks my heart to this day that I did nothing! I should have stopped it. Could have offered to sit with the child for a while so the Mom could have a break. So glad my eyes were opened, and I am out of that religion.