Posts by ruderedhead

33

They ambushed me!

by Anony Mous in

when i was bringing my daughter back to her mother's house two elders stopped me and told me they wanted to talk.

i said i didn't have time, they asked me if i wanted to stop by the kh on saturday to talk to them.

i said i didn't have time.

ruderedhead

I think you handled the situation beautifully, Anon! Hopefully they got the message, and will leave you alone now.

If it happens again, perhaps you could simply remind them that there are laws against stalking, and let them know that if they show up again, you will look into a restraining order. Other than that , I hope you will just let it go and live a happy life. They are just not worth wasting your time and energy on. Don't give them the satisfaction of thinking they can get to you, or that you even think about them. Happy Life!

12

Do you have any recipes that you want to share with me today?

by Iamallcool in

jw
friends

ruderedhead

What are you looking for, allcool? Main courses? Dinner? Breakfast? One pot? Diet restrictions? Are there things she dislikes ( my one daughter dislikes Indian food, whereas all the others love it) I have some easy recipes that my family is very fond of that I would be happy to share later this evening.

40

Did reading Jwfacts help you? Please take a moment to say thanks..

by The Quiet One in

it seems as though so many of the stories of people who are now mentally free that i read on here involved reading jwfacts.com at some point along the way.. he basically saved my sanity (questionable, i know!

), and was never as sensational and garish as other sites which immediately scared me away.

why not take a minute out of your day to say thanks for any difference that jwfacts made to your life, and tell us what it was that helped you?...

ruderedhead

THANK YOU, JWFACTS!

18

how do you cope with the stress of fading?

by brainmelt in

jw
friends

i'm really struggling with it.

i've been learning the ttatt for the past 6 months now and i've been inadvertantly fading - either one of us or the children have had coughs/colds/flu/chicken pox/stress over the past 3 months which has meant we've missed a lot of meetings and field service with good reason.

we've only been out in service twice this year, so far no ones mentioned it to us but i'm waiting for our group overseer to bring it up anytime soon.

ruderedhead

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this, brainmelt. It might take awhile, but you will be o.k. I know it's a lot to take in, and if you have family in, it's certainly harder. Please take a deep breath and slow down. You don't have to do anything right now as no one is bothering you (hopefully it will stay that way for a while). It sounds like your husband is fine with the way things are, so you at least don't have that added stress. Please get outside every day and do something physical, even if it's just walking the kids. It really helps to clear the mind.

Keep doing your research SLOWLY, taking it all in. One point at a time. Do some reading on combatting cults, I'm certain others here will recommend some good books. Have you been to jwfacts? Great resource. See if you can obtain a copy of Ray Franz book, Crisis of Conscience. Don't speak to anyone just yet about what you are learning. You are simply not ready to deal with any fallout. With time, you will be strong enough, and will have all your facts. When you decide to drop nuggets, make sure it is done with CAUTION, AND VERY SLOWLY.

I used to feel the guilt from missing meetings, etc. I think most did. You are programmed to feel that way, but as you learn more about TTATT, it will go away. You will realize you don't want to listen to the twisted teachings anymore, and why on earth would you want to spread them to others? But it does take time to break out of cult mode. Please find some things you enjoy doing to occupy your time and thoughts. It will help to push the wt from your mind so often. I wish you all the best, brainmelt. Hugs to you.

64

How Many Here Have Ever Smoked Pot or Tobacco?

by minimus in

jw
friends

am i the only one who has done neither?.

ruderedhead

In the late 70's, when I was a teen, I smoked cigs & pot. Now my lungs convulse if I try to inhale either into them ( been at a couple parties where both were available). I stick to wine as my vice these days.

10

Have You Been Lied To?

by cha ching in

"few experiences hurt more than learnig that someone you trust has lied to you.".

"you might feel humiliated, angry, or even betrayed.".

"imagine then, how you would feel if you learned that you had been lied to about god.".

ruderedhead

CHA-CHING, shame on you! You know very well that the wt doesn't lie! They simply get new light. It's all the other religions that hold the same doctrine for centuries that are lying.

32

need help

by Crazyguy in

jw
friends

first post, been lurking for a bit.

i have been seeing problems in the org for a couple of years now and could not come up with any answers.

recently i researched the topics of mediator and new covenant and thats when the sh8t hit the fan.

ruderedhead

Seems like you are in a better state of mind tonight. Good for you. Yes, doing the back pedal is probably a good idea right now. If you smell a jd ambush, you are best to not go. But may I make a suggestion? Don't use the word cancel with them. Use the word reschedule. You need to reschedule due to whatever reason you choose to make up, and don't commit to a date on the spot. Tell them you're sorry, have to check work schedule and other obligations,and tell them you will get back to them soon with a date. Don't meet with them until you are very clear in your mind that you can give the answers they want in a believable manner. Please still consider researching good family/divorce lawyers in your area. Perhaps you could use the local library computers to do your research to make certain your wife does not find out? Men I know that found good attorneys, who actually had to follow through, received 50% custody. And they are both assholes (but decent fathers). I hope it does not come to that for you, however. Hopefully you will be able to get things under control right now, and then proceed SLOWLY.

32

need help

by Crazyguy in

jw
friends

first post, been lurking for a bit.

i have been seeing problems in the org for a couple of years now and could not come up with any answers.

recently i researched the topics of mediator and new covenant and thats when the sh8t hit the fan.

ruderedhead

GET A LAWYER TOMORROW! I am dead serious. You must be proactive before you get screwed. Do some research on the good family/divorce attorneys in your area discreetly.A good attorney can advise you of your rights, and the best way to proceed. If you do any internet research, clear the history immediately. Perhaps ask a couple co-workers if they know of any good attorneys.

Your wife is brainwashed, and I am guessing has some control issues. I say that because she is threatening to leave and take the kids because you are questioning the religion. While she most likely believes she is doing the right thing, you are your childrens best hope to be protected from this false religion.

Others have said to back off, take things slowly, and that is very good advise. But you still need to protect yourself.

Put off meeting with the elders as long as you can. Somewhere on here awhile ago I recall someone posted a thread with a letter to the elders about the legal action they would take if they were df'd. It worked, and they were left alone. Perhaps some of the ones who have been on here a while can assist you with that, and you can use that tactic if you ever need.

20

All my JW friends dont like me.

by Vienna Angelika in

jw
friends

they keep pretending to be my friend, and then i get word that they actually hate me.

they have even slandered and said i not worthy to talk to.

then of course, there are the rumours... needless to say, i am pretty depressed..

ruderedhead

Great advice from Mrs. Jones & Newly. Please slowly branch out and make new friends. And I don't know if you have the stomach for it, but perhaps call out these pillars of morality on what they are saying behind your back. Don't be afraid to name names (Bob, Jane told me you said this about me. I'd prefer you weren't a sneaky, unchristian, back stabbing coward, and say it to my face instead.) And never let them see you cry!

70

Unemployment is down, but why did America set a record 47.8 million on food stamps?

by moshe in

in the usa a new record was set on food stamp enrollments, which seems ironic.

you would think as unemployment drops , food stamp usage would be dropping, too.

maybe those government unemployment numbers are fake numbers.

ruderedhead

There was an article in the paper about SNAP benefits the other day. The gov't. has relaxed some of the rules people need to qualify for the program, so some who would not have previously been qualified for benefits, now are. It is the only way some people can keep food on the table every day, and is helping some to slowly pull themselves up.