Road to Nowhere:
You are not alone. Here are two things that help me through dark times -
1. Sadness cannot live in a grateful heart.
I was 36 before I finally got out of the Jehovah's Witness religion 100%. I was already on estranged terms with my parents and one of my siblings. I have made it known that I will never return. As such, I am met with cold silence.
However, I reflect on what good has come from it. I may be 1 years behind on my dream career, but I did get the career I wanted. Now I am about 5 years from retirement. I have had many wonderful experiences due to my job and it sure has provided well for my family and I. My wife and children are happier than we have ever been. Life is the greatest miracle.
2. Every note of the song is the song.
Imagine sitting in an orchestra hall. The conductor begins the concert. All the musicians play one note. Then they stand up, bow, and exit the stage.
Me being a Witness for 36 years is like 36 notes of a song that may go on for another 56 notes. Many music teachers tell their students if the student plays a wrong note to just keep playing through the song. Not to worry about the mistake. Mistakes are how we learn. Our song has many more notes to be played and they all have the potential to be beautiful. We have no control over the past. Only the present. The present is the only place where we can live.