Tapioca

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Posts by Tapioca

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  26

  Williams sister got engaged to some guy from Reddit

  by wozza in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so is he a witness or if not what are gb going to do about it since she identifies with the watchtower society?.

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  Tapioca

  It matters to the extent that some individuals are treated differently than others--and it's so blatant! It's an opportunity to get those "still in" thinking about what it means if they bring it up for discussion. Get that ol' friend cognitive dissonance working for us anti-cultists!
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  28

  Greetings and would like some advice about a potentially fun idea

  by towerwatcher in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello fellow apostates!

  my first post and a long time lurker here.

  i would like to thank all of you for the existence of this board as this has been instrumental for me in leaving the place i once knew as "the truth".

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  Tapioca

  These are hilarious! What wonderful color saturation...just takes me right back! LOL These are the best. Ever.
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  35

  Question for those that have been Disfellowshiped for apostasy VS succesfully fading

  by NikL in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  there are quite a few here who have been disfellowshipped for apostasy.. then there are those that have successfully faded.. why the different outcome?

  are the ones that got df more out spoken?

  or does the discrepancy lie with the elders?.

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  Tapioca

  There are several factors that inform different outcomes. One of those factors is time. A closely related one is distance. Those factors are definitely used in a successful fade.

  The other factors are more difficult to control because they involve others' attitudes. (See Blondie above--either the elder is a bully or permits bullying.) Sometimes you'll have a vindictive relative or former friend who needs to make a self-righteous point using your life. Sometimes other recent incidents render a body of elders more likely to be strict constructionists, hardliners, or---sometimes softer, more amiable. In some areas, having lots of truth-y relatives nearby could be good; conversely, it could be a terrible trap.

  And you have already identified the most important factor---your own self. If you can control yourself, if you don't have some old scores to settle or some point to make, you can simply say (see Cobweb above) depression, illness, personal issues...

  Three main factors: yourself (which is entirely in your control, ha-ha!) time/distance (which you can control with forethought and patience and resources such as worldly friends and enough cash to move out of the area) and others (over whom you have little or no control).
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  8

  You Need to Heal

  by TheLiberator in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  it has been awhile since i posted.

  but i wanted to say a few things that may help those recovering from the watchtower, especially if you have just discovered ttatt.

  it is with humility that i come here to express these thoughts.

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  Tapioca

  YOU MUST ALLOW TIME TO PASS IN ORDER TO HEAL.

  This is so important. oh my, we look at the "wasted" weeks, months, years, decades...we become impatient. TIME is not our enemy. It is our friend. Unfortunately, we have so many TIME constraints that we sometimes want to throw them off in order to be free. But there isn't any telescoping (shrinking) our basic needs for introspection and healing. We have to do the work. We have to take the time.

  TheLiberator, you are so doing the right thing! Have fun with those grandchildren! Take all the time you need and allow others around you to see how much you are enjoying this time...YOUR TIME. In order to heal. Cheers!
  
  
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  16

  Christmas is Coming!

  by Drifting Away in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, this will be a time of much confusion.

  being a born in, and wanting to celebrate my first christmas is confusing, nerve wracking, and difficult to comprehend.

  how have others dealt with there first christmas after leaving?

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  Tapioca

  You get things started in a thoughtful way, and oh-my-gosh...your kids are going to love it! They will totally take it away for you. Congratulations on the big step! Wonderful!
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  24

  Your work is not in vain! Thank You!

  by de-opresso-liber in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  been lurking since early this year.

  there are many of us out there (at least in this area, central u.s.) who are waking up and crossing the line to talk to each other about it.

  in our area, several elders, ministerial servants and pioneers are actively and openly sharing info with each other daily.

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  Tapioca

  Welcome to reality, and thanks for the feedback regarding this forum. It IS so helpful to be able to read the experiences of others and the distilled wisdom (sometimes masquerading as wise-cracks!) from others' lives. I have near and dear relatives who recently woke up and left. OMG. The vituperative reaction from family and "friends" in the borg only served to cement their decision and reveal it as their best move ever. Reactions were so hateful and vindictive that those who now know TTATT will never go back.

  Won't it be fun for you to finally experience life as it is meant to be lived!? Wonderful!
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  54

  According to one JW there can only be 1 of 3 reasons why you left.

  by Bonsai in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i asked an old jw friend of mine why so many baptized individuals leave the jw religion.

  "did it ever occur to you, old friend, that maybe they know something that you don't know and have valid reasons for leaving?

  ", i asked.. his response set me back for an answer.

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  Tapioca

  I have to agree with JeffT. Who has done a qualitative/quantitative study of ex-JWs? From what I've seen on everyone else's post---and from my own experience (and that of my friends)---the anecdotal evidence points to other reasons for motivation to leave the borg. Maybe sexual repression and pride are catalysts for the change, but the reasons for the change involve character and morals and deeply held life-views. We feel a great freedom in following our own moral compass rather than simply blindly obeying old white men who have told us that they represent the creator (ha!).

  Sometimes I think that people don't even know the reasons they leave, well, at least not at first. This would make an excellent topic for a doctoral dissertation, or a master's thesis in organizational behavior, yes? After the research, then we could identify which motivations seem to appear more often than any others. Maybe even do a longitudinal study, i.e. follow several people for many years. I'll bet that would be some kind of paper!
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  25

  This Thursday they are going to announce my disfellowshipping and I don't give a $%^&

  by Harvard Illiterate 411 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hubby is on my team.

  i know i'm going to be way happier.

  i might even meet up with the apostafest in colorado with you guys.

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  Tapioca

  Congratulations on both the df and the caring--not so much! All that you accomplish in your future will be considered decisions instead of reaction to guilt and shaming! It's pretty amazing stuff! Especially with your partner in your corner.
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  56

  A fresh start

  by FormerlySandL in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  after the worst introduction i could ever make on the forum i would like to reintroduce myself and make a fresh start on the forum and hopefully over time i will be able to redeem myself.

  i have changed my user name which was over dramatic and ridiculous in the cold light of day but for transparency and to show i am not trying to hide anything i have adapted the original name and it now has a more positive feel.

  after reading a lot of posts on this forum i am feeling more optimistic about my future.

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  Tapioca

  S'NL: Welcome. Rebel gave some mighty practical advice. Take that list and customize it for your own use. You will need to think ahead so that your actions in the present tense will lead you to your future tense goals. Local and regional governments offer the best chance for you to latch on to some higher education/training and you can look up what's available online or check with local agencies or librarians to assist with research.

  Many of us had to walk a path that took years to complete, but you will be just fine. We're all here to help you and to challenge you! We want you to be successful at this fading business but it's not for the faint of heart, I assure you! One thing that really helped me was to move away. I tried to move locally, but I was not successful at that time. Then I bided my time, organized myself, and moved some distance away. It was quite liberating.

  Your reading older threads and thinking about them will be a consolation for you as you start replacing the false and insincere friends with new acquaintances, new ways of looking at things, and a different outlook. A remarkable journey is just ahead. You got this.
  
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  44

  Brothers - Reach Out for a Fine Work!

  by cappytan in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c1ixarr31y.

  they must really be having issues finding brothers to slave for the org..

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  Tapioca

  O.M.G. I cannot believe this. The toilet was a stroke.