hey guys, this is my first time posting on here but lets get started.. so i'm a 17 year old boy who currently attends meetings at a congregation in indianapolis.
i live with my grandparents, on my father's side, because my mother died in 2010. i been attending meetings since i was 10. my mother got into the religion but then got disfellowshiped.
my dad is on and off, he currently just got reinstated.
They told me that if I disassociate myself, then my grandfather will lose his position as an elder.
It might/probably would happen. It would not be your fault were that to happen. Its cult rules and practices. But its enough that some serious problems would exist between you and your grandparents.
Do your best to find a way to make your future happen your way. You may later be shunned by family, possibly not. But let all that wait while in school.
there are four ways to leave the 'truth'...... alive............you can be disfellowshiped...... then shunned, you can formally disassociate yourself and be shunned........ you can fade.
the first two words belong to the society, fade on the other hand is defined as 'to gradually grow faint and disappear.
' 'walking away' has it's own negative connotation about one's commitments and relationships.. i think some folks feel uncomfortable with these words.
I faded fast over less than a year, but have suggested that some try to leave faster if they either have no family reason to hang around or if they may retain such family anyway. It might also be that those with a JW spouse and children they hope to get out of the cult should try leaving faster.
I suggest many try to just leave all at once without any slow reduction of activity. It can't always be done and keep loved ones' communication too. But it is something to consider.
That might be a huge disconnect or "disengage" move.
hey guys, this is my first time posting on here but lets get started.. so i'm a 17 year old boy who currently attends meetings at a congregation in indianapolis.
i live with my grandparents, on my father's side, because my mother died in 2010. i been attending meetings since i was 10. my mother got into the religion but then got disfellowshiped.
my dad is on and off, he currently just got reinstated.
If you are a junior, you have this entire year and half of 2019 in high school. You need a stable home environment for the next 18 months. You might really need to move slowly on the disassociation thing. Life at home as a JW might be miserable, but life at home as a DA'ed JW could be worse than barely doing the minimum. I know that, to a seventeen year old, that seems like "forever" but it really isn't that long.
And I know it's tough to have all kinds of people in your life who are JW's and contemplate losing their friendship/contact. Before such a thing happens, you have to have a chance to develop outside friends. If you think 18 months of pretending is long, it is going to seem like an eternity if you are severely restricted all the time and have nobody talking to you among the people you are allowed to be around.
This is the link to the 4th Annual Midwest Apostafest- a gathering near Indianapolis in the summer of 2017:
https://www.facebook.com/events/381343342244843/
hey guys, this is my first time posting on here but lets get started.. so i'm a 17 year old boy who currently attends meetings at a congregation in indianapolis.
i live with my grandparents, on my father's side, because my mother died in 2010. i been attending meetings since i was 10. my mother got into the religion but then got disfellowshiped.
my dad is on and off, he currently just got reinstated.
Then maybe consider doing the bare minimum. Don't resign and say you will get "some" recruiting work in- an hour a month of not really trying.
That just works for 11 months. You need to plan long term. Are you graduating high school this year? What next? You can go for scholarships, but you need a place to live.
Also, there is a great picnic just south of Indianapolis in August. I will link you to it on a post soon.
what you are about to read i've never told anyone before.. why?
because it is mysterious.. mostly because it is a bit like the corner of your eye.
you see movement there but you won't be reciting any eye chart letters.what you read next is sort of like that.i don't like to be vague.
In other words, my Monorails of Mars is a book only meant for me to read---a message from my mind--for me alone.
I won't interfere then. Let us know, in some long story, what you think of it if you ever read it.
I am pretty sure these stories are fictions. Keep trying.
good morning everyone , .
i am wondering how people have personally delt with the anger at the gb when waking up and realizing it’s a scam, lie , and it’s awfully depressing .
i have had difficulty concentrating at work , have had an emotional roller coaster between okay days and awful days.
Buy that book, EXITING THE JW CULT. It is written by an exJW turned therapist. I wish I found it when I was angry.
good morning everyone , .
i am wondering how people have personally delt with the anger at the gb when waking up and realizing it’s a scam, lie , and it’s awfully depressing .
i have had difficulty concentrating at work , have had an emotional roller coaster between okay days and awful days.
I posted this on your other thread, but I had not seen this thread yet:
I went to counseling. Some have suggested marriage counseling on [your other] thread. Sure, sounds great. I doubt your wife would want to go, knowing the JW forced thinking on worldly counselors. So that leaves telling her "we" are going to a marriage counselor then going without her if she refuses, or just telling her you are going to a counselor for yourself.
And yes, I get that it is not practical financially for everyone. We don't all have the insurance or the money to go to regular counseling. My insurance did cover most of it. I also discovered later, this excellent book that will help- EXITING THE JW CULT by Bonnie Zieman.
(https://www.amazon.com/EXiting-JW-Cult-Handbook-Witnesses/dp/1508477132 ) Whether you go to counseling or not, consider that book. There's a kindle version you can get without anyone seeing a print book in the mail.
good afternoon , .
i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.
i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.
What do you do about the anger that one experiences when waking up. Anger of being lied to for decades, anger about wasting allot of time on nonsense.
for almost 12 years now, i have been coming to this site on a regular basis and in the last 5, i “faded out”.
i never regretted this and never will.
unfortunately though, yesterday, i realized that, until i can publically tell all my old acquaintances why i have left, i will never be truly free.
I will gladly debate with a stranger. I hope to help him/her to have more freedom of mind.
I truly would love to help my mother, my wife, my in-law family, and anyone I ever met as JW's to have more freedom of mind.
But when it comes to Jehovah's Witnesses, I recognize that you just can't club them on the head. Talking to a brick wall would feel better because you could imagine you got through to the wall. Not so much with JW's.
I have taken my occasional break from this forum. And outside of this forum, I have virtually nothing to do with active JW's. I am not reading their stuff, I only dabble in their videos a wee bit when this forum taunts me enough to do so. My wife says nothing about the current goings on in the organization, I barely find out through her schedule change when she is being visited by the C.O..
Do what is best for you. Walk away from as much as you need to for as long as you need to.
i have been meeting with member's of the kingdom hall, and i have attended a few times now on sundays.
i'd like to discuss experiences with this group since i'm new.
so far, i love it.
He he he. I am sure they "love bombed" you. (Read https://scottleblog.wordpress.com/category/love-bombing/ )
After a time with them, if they feel you are enjoying their company, they will tell you something about that nose piercing to try to make you feel guilty about it. They may even suggest ways to hide the tattoos. They will slowly attempt to morph you into one of them.
Remember that we said so.
