Posts by OnTheWayOut

10

Feel like I've failed

by Mr Negative in

i need to get this off my chest, as i don't have many people to talk to about it who would understand.. i feel like i've failed my family, as not only have i been unable to get my parents and brother to see sense regarding the cult, but now my sister, who never got baptised but managed to escape twenty years ago, is now seriously considering going back for various "emotional" reasons, and i know that she won't listen to me.. i know they have all made their own decisions (at least, to the extent that brainwashed people can make their own decisions), and i can't really blame myself (even though i was the one who, when only ten years old, convinced my mum to listen to the poor lady on the doorstep out of politeness rather than just shut the door on her - so it is all indirectly my fault), but it still feels like i've failed them..

OnTheWayOut

Mr Negative

I know that what you're saying makes sense, but I still can't help thinking that I should have done more.

I feel that I tried everything with my wife. Many of us get the idea that the more you push, the more someone resists. The ultimate thing we can do sometimes is fall on our sword. That won't work for most of our loved ones, but perhaps for a child coming of age and able to question things when we do it. What I mean is, we can be open about our opposition to the cult, stating why it's a dangerous mind-control cult. We can accept that we will be disfellowshipped and lose contact with many family members. That way, the person we are trying to help will see how important these issues are, what we are willing to suffer.

Do ya see how that won't work for most adult loved ones? They shut down their ability to think against the cult rules.

Many of us have been where you are- wondering what we should have/could have done. We do what we can and that is it.

18

I love heavy metal!!!

by ironsnake656 in

probably you noticed that my avatar is a photo of steve harris, bassist of iron maiden.

i have quite a few years that i started to listen this kind of music, even when i was in the jwland.

although it was a "no-no" in the borders of jwland, i knew a lot of brothers and sisters that listened and loved this kind of music.

OnTheWayOut

Hey, I am not a big fan of G 'n' R or Iron Maiden- just a slight variance of personal tastes. I lean a bit more toward heavy guitar slightly older classic rock like Led Zeppelin and The Who, but my taste also goes way toward AC/DC, Ozzy, Judas Priest and the like.

I put my music taste aside in the late 80's and stuck with mainstream classic rock (which was called "Rock" then) when I became a young adult JW. So not only did I give up my birthday, I gave up my music.

Boy oh boy, I came back strong to the music. Music is like a drug for me and it always has the right songs to fit the feeling or the general attitude. Older rock tends to be about flipping the bird to mainstream society. I get in moods and music fits right in there.

15

Me and my schools band

by Akid48 in

so i made this to take off some of the anxiety of what i have to tell all my friends when i have to go to my band camp i have to go to.. so i play tuba in my school i love it i had made friends that are now close friends.so i am number 1 or 2 when it comes to how good we play so when placements for what band your in for next year i was put in to honors band my aunt said good job but when we went to the meeting for it she got mad saying she thinks it to much for me going into school early than i do staying at school later and some things she said was right but the thing that got her mad is that i might not be able to go to the meetings after home work etc and she went more into the jw things on school.. the thing that gets me mad is that know i have to think of a way to tell my friends that i im out of honors band because of jw reasons.. one more thing is i cant do many things i suck at sports and many more butt playing the tuba was the one thing i could say im good at than video games but it seems like at high school i might have to drop it :(.

OnTheWayOut

I think you need to stay connected to music. Your family will probably be an obstacle, sorry to read that. Again, wish I had a good answer.

Even if not in the Honors band, ask the music teacher how you can stay involved. Confide in him/her about the JW problem. Say how you need to keep playing and learning.

13

Genesis chapter one can make your life meaningful and joyful

by venus in

literal reading of genesis chapter one brings no benefit because you would see god as speaking to fishes and birds (genesis 1:22) which we know is not possible.

however, with “a king’s mind” if one looks for the implied truth behind its literary allusions it may bring immense benefit.

(proverb 25:2) for example:.

OnTheWayOut

Venus, maybe we are just having trouble with your analogies on life lessons.
The rear view mirror is important and still shows the present, not the past. We have to back up sometimes and we have to change lanes without killing pedestrians, motorcyclists, bicyclists, other drivers.

You better be careful with analogy. Same with Genesis and the Bible. I can live without any further "meaning" from that book.

25

WT shooting themselves in the foot, or rather the mouth, finally

by oppostate in

"stop the presses!".

awesome blog article at bereans.net !.

http://beroeans.net/2017/08/07/stop-the-presses/.

OnTheWayOut

Just hold your horses here. Let me sum up the "Other Sheep" thing from the Governing Body point-of-view-

"We invented the other sheep when we needed a doctrine to explain having more than 144,000 members. We used gobbledee-goop as our explanation and threw in some scriptures. Now, it has been established for so long that we can stop even acting like we invented them, but that it comes from Jehovah. If we happen to tweak a few old doctrines here and there to set ourselves up for radical changes, the sheep won't understand the first gobbledee-goop nor the new gobbledee-goop, so we're still good."

"Oh, but if some legal or money issue forced us to abandon the "other sheep" label, then the whole conversation is moot."

11

My head hurts

by Akid48 in

so i still have to go to meeting etc and my head hurts its just im trying to wake up and the teachings are getting shoved back in my head or with field service im giving people papers i want to rip it in my hands.. now its like i need a smoking break i have to just walk out the kingdom hall and get my mind back together.. just something thats new for me.

OnTheWayOut

There are no easy answers for under-aged ones. Do your best to run through other stuff in your mind during JW stuff. Don't try real hard at "recruiting." Just go through the motions.

Sorry, don't have a real good answer.

34

My mums dying she refuses blood transfusion...the horror.

by Witness 007 in

mum has a mild form of lukeimia if she took blood like normal people she could live to be 100. but no, anointed sisters dont compromise jehovah wont allow it.

so here i am moving to sydney for one month going to hospital everyday putting my life on hold to watch my mother die slowly.

watching her gasp for air, struggle to breath.

OnTheWayOut

My deepest sympathies. Your outlook really shows you cared.

34

Really struggling to go on

by Isambard Crater in

jw
friends

so, so much has happened in my life over the years and continues to happen, but i won't go into the details as it would take a long time.. i don't really know why, but i returned to "the truth" 15 years ago.

in 2012 when the tv broadcasting station launched, i started to develop doubts.

the australian royal commission and other scandals made me angrier, and i now don't believe most of the core teachings.. the only reason i show up at 5 or 6 meetings each month is to keep in contact with my parents and a few other family members.. but it's killing me, literally.

OnTheWayOut

It can be a balancing act to become PIMO. If you feel like jumping in front of that train, then you may need to be more OUT than IN. If you are miserable and suffering through meetings to maintain your family, then there are a couple things you need to think about-
1. Is it worth it?
2. Will you actually lose them if you were to skip the meetings entirely?

The point is that you will be happier regardless of consequences if you just stop attending meetings. And as a bonus, you just might retain some family.

I can't do this for another 20 years!

You already know you need to stop being physically "in."

51

What kind of toppings do you like on a Pizza?

by Iamallcool in

jw
friends

i want something different on my next pizza!.

OnTheWayOut

I am part of a crew that makes homemade pizzas about once a month or so. We make them with traditional sausage, pepperoni, onions, olives, basil, etc. But we often make one with leftover rotisserie chicken using bbq sause instead of tomato sauce. That one typically gets red onions and green peppers and lighter cheese.

We also make a Mexican pizza with taco-seasoned ground beef, cilantro, diced tomatoes with mild green chilis, green onions, a light amount of jalapenos, cheddar or other Mexican cheese, and have sour cream available when eating it.

10

CounselIling for Ex Cult Members

by Disassociated Lady 2 in

i wanted to ask those of you who were born into the jws and eventually left as an adult, whether any of you have had any counselling?

i know from experience that being programmed by a cult since birth does not give us the social skills and knowledge to function and interact with people in the outside world as we were taught to avoid it.

those of you that have had counselling, do you feel that it has helped you?

OnTheWayOut

Great advice from OneEyedJoe.

I went to extensive counseling, but I did not find a "cult expert." To make a long story short, I had unresolved issues concerning a suicide attempt that I thought didn't need addressing because "Jehovah" rescued me and gave me purpose in life and YADDA YADDA. So I got depressed when, more than 20 years later, that all turned out to be not true. My counselor aided me through my issues and we simultaneously (but mostly after dealing with the 1st issues) dealt with the JW's.

My point is, if a person leaves the JW's, they may have issues- their lifelong beliefs were a lie, they lost family and friends, they feel they wasted their life, etc. A good counselor will help you face your issues. If you are asking about counseling, you probably have issues. If you are distressed by your issues, get to a counselor. If you are not sure about the whole thing, read what OneEyedJoe suggested first.