Fourteen is a tough age, it's natural for them to reject everything you say no matter what that is, so don't take it personally.Even If you and his mom were both hardcore dubs the odds are pretty good that he will eventually leave anyway, if he knows that you will support him no matter what he chooses to do, then you are stacking the odds even more.
LisaRose
JoinedPosts by LisaRose
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8
I may have to go back!!
by Crazyguy inmaybe i'm over reacting but i'm getting tired of all the bullshit.
they truly see you as a demonized one when your gone.
i spoke to my 14 year old about not getting baptized he said he wasn't and understood my reasoning then texts his mother and says some really hurtful stuff.
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Please could you give me your opinions on this statement? . . .
by Miss Worldly in'i have prayed, and confessed my sins to my god, i'm not telling them (the elders) anything'.
.. could this be a significant sign that there maybe a small dent in the armour of an active jw?
or is it just a case of 'keep your nose out' ?
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LisaRose
I find even true hard core believers will hide things, they sort of rationalize the behavior in their mind, it doesn't mean they are having doubts. People are blind when it comes to their own issues,while still being judgemental when it comes to others.
The society even gives tacit approval for it if you are an elder. They have said if the past misdeeds was a while back and the elder is still serving faithfully it's a sign that Jehovah has forgiven him. We have all heard of elders that had long term affairs, cheated in business for years, etc. When caught they usually take the punishment and get reinstated. And they were in on judicial committees the whole time, passing judgement while engaging in worse behaviours of the own. They are just hypocrites.
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CO in midwest gets pink-slipped
by LevelThePlayingField ini saw the coordinator heading for the stage and hit record on my ipad.
i was shocked but here it is.
here's my typed transcript of the letter he read:.
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LisaRose
I agree Dozy, I do not think the higher ups approved the letter. Reading between the lines, it appears that they were shocked and are still trying to deal with it. They are trying to believe that it will all work out and all this is God's will, but it probably doesn't feel like that right now.
This is not really how things worked before, or at least not how they understood it, they probably assumed they would do this work until they retired and they would be taken care of. It's really rough to have to start over at that age, they went from JW royalty to average Joe in a month and have to earn a living and worry about retirement. I almost feel sorry for them.
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Astral Projection
by Black Man inso what are your thoughts on astral projection?
have a co-worker who claims to know how to induce this on himself.
is he crazy?
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LisaRose
I agree stuff, its just a form of meditation/self hypnosis. It's just your body releasing endorphins, the feel good hormones, it's well known that meditation can do that. I have been using a guided meditation for healing, it creates a pleasant feeling, like you are floating a bit, the music and the person talking are designed to put you in a relaxed state, at one point they say to imagine your head is floating, and it does sort of feel like that. For it to work you have to be very relaxed about the experience, trust that it will work and it helps if you have experience with meditation.
People try to "dress it up" with names like astral projection, which makes it sound like there us something mysterious going on, but meditation has proven benefits, so there is some science behind it, but for most ex JWs I would recommend starting with just plain meditation, then moving on to guided meditations, self hypnosis, etc, if that interests you.
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Farewell
by EdenOne in"don't be dismayed by good-byes.
a farewell is necessary before you can meet again.
and meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.
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LisaRose
I am sorry you feel you had to leave over the comments of a poster. In any community of people you will always find a variety of people with a variety of ideas and manners. Getting upset because someone was rude is understandable, but demanding apologies and insisting that others be banned for them is just setting yourself up for disappointment.
I used to get upset when people made personal attacks, or misconstrued my words, or disagreed with me, and of course it hurt my feelings. But I found responding defensively just started a negative back and forth that just never ended. I finally realized that It's entirely possible to just ignore comments and not respond in any way. Really, not only can you, but it's best. Often bullies are looking for that response, it's the payoff for them, so refusing to engage is the worst thing you can do to the. So what if they insulted you? Take the long view and be the better person and refuse to respond in kind, or even respond at all.
If anything I feel sorry for anyone who needs to act in that way, as it tells me they are not happy in their life. It's just words in the ether, not meaningful in my life to any way, really. In our previous life as Jehovah's Witnesses there was unity and firm rules, but that unity was at the cost of intellectual freedom and choice. I treasure the right to disagree, to say something is bunk when I think it is, to defend my view point. I would not want to be on a forum that was so heavily moderated as to eliminate all controversy. I also see that many here have made personal attacks on Viv that are worse that her original rudeness, imho. I personally feel that she bothers people so much because she is most often right, but it's easier to get upset with her rudeness that counter her logic.
But of course you can choose to go, if negative comments bother you that much it's probably best. Being an Ex JW is hard enough, you don't need to add any more stress. But I think we are a better community if we have a variety of viewpoints, so I would wish for you to stay, ignore the negativity and continue to contribute your unique opinions. In any case I wish you well and hope the decision brings you peace.
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Disfellowshipping Sounds Wonderful to Me Now
by xjwsrock in2 people were read out last week as disfellowshipped.
of course now the announcement is read "so and so is no longer one of jehovahs witnesses".
they read that statement twice, once for each of the names.
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LisaRose
Yes, it's shocking how quickly your feelings change once you learn tatt isn't it? Instead of shame and failure, it's freedom to live your life on your own terms. -
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I Hate the Sound of the Word Jehovah
by cofty inlistening to clips of the latest manipulative video from the watchtower i realised how much i detest that word - jehovah.. sometimes i have thought it would be interesting to observe a meeting or part of a convention.
every time i heard that word i would be unable to stay in my seat.. i have a visceral reaction every time i hear it.
it stands for so much that i have contempt for.
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LisaRose
I didn't at first, but now, yeah hate it, I just associate it with the religion and it just brings back bad memories. I especially hate it when they put the emphasis on the middle syllable, as in ja-HO-vah. *shudders* -
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Unbaptised son maybe asked to be in assembly ... Suggestions please!
by 4thgen inmy husband and i are divorced.
i have custody of my tween son.
i left 3 years ago on principle.
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LisaRose
I don't think you can do much on the visitation weekends, but you do not have to let him go to meetings when you have him. Tell them "Thank you for your interest in my son, but I have decided it's not in his best interest to go to any Jehovah's Witness functions while he is with me." Your son is probably being influenced to ask to do those things, you can influence him also.
Whatever comes up just say you already had plans, then take your son to go do something fun at those times, work on getting him to learn critical thinking, so he can recognize the lies and deceptions that are used by the Society. Take him to a natural history museum to learn about evolution, etc.
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Caleb and Sofia used to brainwash children
by shattered_origins inokay, i need to vent.
as a newly awoken individual, i have yet to "come out" to my hard core jdub parents.
my plan was to lay low and use my unbelieving husband and baby as an excuse for my "inactivity", it has worked for the last few months.
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LisaRose
Supervised visits only. There was a court case where some JW grandparents used their granddaughter's mom (who was never a JW) to be allowed unsupervised visits. The mom was fine with visits until they started the cult indoctrination, but they wouldn't stop so she only allowed supervised visits. Of course this went no where, the courts uphold parental rights in religious instruction unless there is something wrong with the parents.
You have your husband for an excuse so just make it clear she cannot do this and if she doesn't listen she will loose unsupervised contact. Children are impressionable, and this stuff is toxic.
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We talk a lot about conditional friends on here
by cappytan inso, when people post about being shunned by their friends, i've heard several posters say things like, "their friendship is conditional.
real friendships aren't conditional.".
i'm sorry, but that just isn't really true.. if you and i were friends, there are conditions.
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LisaRose
I agree, all friendships are conditional, its just that most friendships don't disolve just because you change your religion. And when you have friends you feel especially close to it hurts, no matter how much you know they only did it because of the cult. In my mind it doesnt mean they were conditional friends, it just means your frindship wasn't as important to them as their loyalty to the organization.